The "Patriarch" is dying....

I wish death upon no person that is not an Islamic terrorist or Ivy League humanities professor, however I will certainly not shed a tear when Ted Kennedy meets his maker and finally has to answer for Mary Jo Kopechne. You can escape human justice, especially if you are rich and powerful, but no one can escape the ultimate justice and equality that comes to us all in death.

Ted Kennedy is truly one of America's great lowlifes; His recent political betrayal of the equally loathsome Hillary Clinton should be the exclamation point at the end of his long, corrupt, and pointless political career, however I suspect he will be spun into something of a tragic hero bravely battling cancer by our mainstream media.

Bravery, however, would have been more aptly demonstrated by sacrificing one's political career and presidential apsirations to try to save a girl that was left to drown in a 1967 Oldsmobile. Maybe Ted truly is remorseful about Chappaquiddick, but if he was any sort of honorable person he would have come clean about his drunk driving a long, long time ago.

AND SO NOW IT BEGINS....

You can almost hear 'em whizzing overhead, the shells fired from the media as they begin their D-Day general election barrage for Barack Obama.

Already, we see what the tactics will be.

Articles. Articles implicitly laying out the subtext that the media hopes will win the election for the most far left candidate ever to be featured in an American presidential election.

Video Clips. Video clips depicting an uninformed minority opinion with the hopes of casting all those that oppose Obama for various reasons in the same light.

To put the strategy plain and simple: IF YOU OPPOSE OBAMA, YOU'RE A RACIST.

We all knew this was coming, and now we've reached that point. Decades of political correct indoctrination will be put to the test. Countless hordes of 20-something zombies who can't form a single opinion of their own (because they've never been taught to think critically) will fall head over heels for the stratagem, as will millions more senescent baby boomers. White guilt. Black pride. By any means necessary.

And when the dust settles, the media will have one of two opinions- "This proves that America is still a racist country at heart" OR "That was too close. We still have work to do if we are to win the battle against racism".

Those who think this election is the most important issue can't see the forest for the trees. How can there be a fair election when the unelected "little Goebbels" of the media control the psyche of the entire Western world?

CHARLIE SHEEN INVESTIGATES: THE ROAD TO LESBANON

This post was originally from Summer 2006 during the Israeli - Hezbollah War. It covers the subject of Middle East conflict with deft Sheenesque insight and since I haven't been writing jack fucking shit lately why not throw out there again, and revel in my past brilliance

By: Charley Sheen / Number 3

When the A.C#1 told me I was going to Lesbanon I was totally excited. I love Lesbanons but not the fat, short, ugly ones ya know, the hot ones is good. I’ve used my Mega-star status as an Emmy nominated actor on the smash show “Two and a Half Men” to score me plenty of Lesbanons before but this time I was going to the source. I hadda fly into a country called Syriana because some jokers was invading Lesbanon or somethin’ not that you could blame them, men doing crazy things for a hot piece of slice. My guide into Lesbanon was this guy named Hakmed with a uni-brow he made me buy four donkeys, which we would ride to my destination like true Middle Eastern cowboys. The stuff I learned filming my blockbuster hit “Young Guns” would come in super handy. On that particular film my co-star and close personal friend Kiefer Sutherland, star of the hit show “24,” said that I was a natural born cowboy.

(This is me and that jerk Hakmed on our way to Lesbanon)

I’ve been to this part of the world a bunch of times and man it never stops sucking. It’s a million and a half degrees; there are spiders as big as my head; and the women get honor killed if you even look at them. Every once and a while on our way through Syriana some angry guys in a pick-up truck with a gun mounted on it would drive up and yell at us in jawa and my guide would have to bribe them with one of our spare donkeys. Man this is no way for a Mega-star to travel my guide even threw out the bottles of tequila I brought. What a jerk, now how am’ I gonna score with the Lesbanons?

I think A.C#1 needs to take some lessons from my publicist on how to treat a Mega-star next time I see him I’m gonna tae-bo his ass into next week.It’s been a day and a half on donkeys and I see Lesbanon on the horizon. Aside from a few rolling gun battles with Bedouin militia and C.I.A. helicopter gunships the trip has been pretty uneventful. I’m pretty sure spies from at least 6 countries are following us including a hot French chick who tried to kill me, but then I banged her. The situation is serious, as it seems The Sheen isn’t the only one trying to get into some hot Lesbanon action.

**Charlie Sheen: The Lesbanon Saga Pt.2**
**Charlie Sheen: The Lesbanon Saga Finale**

HUFFPO? Actually, yeah....

Link

They only published it 'cause he's an atheist. Dead on, though.

TDL Links to:

TDL's good friends A from "a Dirty Martini" and regular TDL commenter Daphne have started a blog together called:

"Verity Falls"

TDL heartily endorses the reading of said blog, because Daphne is from Texas and carries a sawed-off side-by-side named the "The Widowmaker" on her belt.

Ha!

I'm only kidding. It's real name is "Troy." She had a big thing for Troy Aikman, in fact his rugged good looks still makes her swoon.


- A.C #1

TDL CLASSICS: ARIANNA HUFFINGTON IS:

By:A.C #1

Though Arianna Huffington has taken it upon herself to inflict her quasi-communist views on the American public through her blog, nowhere on the blog does it mention that she is in actuality a dirty foreigner who despises our country, or that she is actively seeking a course which will deform our proud nation to make it more closely resemble her beloved Greece.

As Americans we somehow manage not to interfere in the politics of that island nation to the north, but Mrs. Huffington cannot resist attempting to alter America’s political landscape despite not being one of us. (Okay so technically she is an American after becoming failed California gubernatorial candidate Michael Huffington’s beard way back in 1992) So in the interest of Balance we here at TDL NEWS have decided to do what we do best; enlighten the masses with some little known facts regarding the political machinations of Arianna Huffington’s homeland.




• Greece is a parliamentary Monarchy. Every six months the parliament, which consists of 300 members, votes on who gets to be King of all Greeks for the following six months. The duty of the six month King is to prepare for the bi-annual election of the next King of Greece.

• The actual governance of the Greek people’s daily lives is left to Mayor of Greece’s largest city and capital Athens, in which 75% of the population lives. The Mayor of Athens is chosen in a way that will probably sound familiar to Americans. Every four years the people select the finest goat in all of the lowlands and blindfold it, the goat is then paraded throughout the country. When the goat reaches the top of Mount Olympus the blindfold is removed. If the goat sees its shadow a member of the esteemed Baltakamoos clan becomes Mayor, if it doesn’t a member of the cast of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” becomes Mayor.

• A major controversy has existed in Greece as to what steps must be taken to resolve the long standing dispute over the island of Cyprus. Cyprus is a large island adjacent to Greece which is split into two halves including a Northern section controlled by the Greeks and a Southern section controlled by a Witch. The Greek government led by Mayor Markos Baltakamoos has been paralyzed into inaction due to the evil eye which was placed on Mayor Baltakamoos by the Witch two years ago after she broke into a cabinet meeting and spit on him while swinging a dead cat over her head.

• Greece has also recently been struggling over the proposed privatization of the country's Universities. Wow privatization sounds ummm…interesting.

• Recently a local Shepard fromThessaloniki found a pile of sheep crap which, he states, resembles the Holy Synod. The Shepard armed with his poo has declared himself “The Favored One” and has moved against the current Prime Minister in an attempt to seize power. Sensing the fall of his government, the P.M. abdicated his office to the Shepard who then became the third straight Greek P.M. to ascend to power through a poop based coup.

Since I'am responsible for all of you learning so much about Greece and its political workings I feel I must also urge you to be more judicous with this knowledge than Mrs. Huffington has been and ask that you please not try to affect the future of nations that are not your own, because there will always be a fundamental disconect between an outsiders view,(especially if the outsider is a pious multi-millionaire elite who shuns contact with any normal Americans, unless you count the cashier at Bijan in Beverly Hills) and reality. Mrs. Huffington fails to realize, like many liberals, that America is more than a six hour flight between shopping sprees and the people in between are, despite this past election, not socialists eager to hand their money over to the Feds so they can use it to fight "Climate Change," or whatever the soft-headed liberal cause-du-jour may be.

TDL NEWS: I'D HATE TO SAY 'WE TOLD YOU SO'........

But we told you so!

Once again, TDL was way ahead of the curve with this story, which came more than 2 years before the the MSM realized there was a problem.

I'm not gonna even imply we're smarter than the average blog; as a matter of fact we're not much smarter than an autistic 10 year old that has the facilities of being able to count.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that corn-derived Ethanol is the biggest scam this side of Global Warming, nor does it take a rocket scientist to see that the idea of growing our own fuel was totally impractical and in fact incredibly destructive.

What really troubles me is that the MSM-Government Idiocracy continues to push ethanol, even when blatantly on its face it has been shown to:

1) Be a net energy loss
2) Be more expensive than regular old oil
3) Encourage deforestation
4) Require the increased use of the twin boogymen- 'toxic' pesticides and genetically modified plants
5) Cause starvation
6) Require government subsidy (i.e. 'welfare') to break even

That's right- we've reached a point where the Global Warming scam has now officially caused death. Food riots have killed in Haiti .

What does food have to do with ethanol? Quite simply, when you devote about 20% of the American corn crop to making ethanol, you have less corn for food. Next, when you require that a certain percentage of fuel in our vehicles be ethanol, you cause demand for ethanol to skyrocket and thus you cause the price of gas to skyrocket. Gas powered vehicles harvest corn, and transport edible corn crops to market.

Less Food + High Gas Cost = MORE EXPENSIVE FOOD. Duh.

Yet the Idiocracy keep on truckin'. Note that this Left Wing Propaganda Rag New York Times article does its best to blame skyrocketing food costs on other factors in an effort to cover the asses of the Global Warming crowd, but it cannot gloss over simple supply and demand.

And to be fair, we cant entirely blame the left for the ethanol scam. Many Republicans (do Republicans even represent conservatism?) from mid-west support ethanol heart and soul, mainly because it enables fat government subsidies to be doled out to their farmer constituents. And finally, you have profiteering corporations like ADM which are making hundreds of millions off of government mandated and subsidized ethanol production and refinement.

Yet we can blame the left for the Global Warming scam and its deadly impact. Ethanol would have never been subsidized without the support of Global Warming fearmongering , and its complete ineffectualness would not have been concealed for so long. Few Americans questioned why 10% of their gas has to be made of ethanol, and even fewer questioned why congress has mandated that up to 1/5 of the nation's ENTIRE OIL SUPPLY needs to consist of ethanol by 2025.

All to "save the planet".......

Now the scam, which is really just a cynical grab at government welfare (i.e. YOUR TAX DOLLARS), has turned deadly.

TDL CLIMATE KOOL AID: BBC ALTERS NEWS TO ACCOMODATE GLOBAL WARMING ACTIVIST

This is a great story which really shows us where MSM "news" comes from these days.

Apparently, the BBC grudgingly ran a story which indicated that the Earth would be cooler in 2008 than 2007. The Ministry of Truth attributed this cooling to the La Nina effect and assured the world that Global Warming would be back with a vengeance, but this was not enough to satisfy the Global Warming enforcers.

A particularly virulent moonbat by the name of Jo Abbess immediately took issue with any suggestion that Global Warming might be taking a breather, and wrote the BBC a host of emails. "Remember to challenge any piece of media that seems like it’s been subject to spin or [climate change] scepticism" says Jo.

To make a long story short, the BBC eventually altered its story to imply that this year's cooling was "slight" and that "record high" temperatures are forecast for the next five years! lol.

I suggest that you all click the link provided to read this idiocy for yourself. One wonders to what extent every single item of "news" from the MSM is filtered through the prism of left wing activism.....

H/T Junk Science

A Message from The "Styrofoam Council of America"

All this week TDL will be bringing you educational programming that supports a healthy Styro-lifestyle.Remember the Holiday Season is the perfect time to "Go White" with Styrofoam!

Have you considered what life would be like without Styrofoam?



Styrofoam brings people together, it keeps warm drinks warm, and cold drinks cold.



Did you know that Styrofoam is a naturally occurring substance? Despite the lies and misinformation about this gift from "Mother Earth" Styrofoam continues to improve the lives of people all over the world.



In fact recent evidence suggests that Styrofoam was harvested and fashioned into rudimentary kitchen utensils as far back as Native American times.

All over the United States the anti-Styrofoam lobby is being defeated, just last month the Arkansas legislature halted an attempt to ban the use of Styrofoam Spittoons in the State Capital.

Don't you want to be on the side of progress, on the side of Styrofoam?

TDL GOES DARK!!! Earth hour 2008

For TLA with regards from A.C #1



The TDL offices were buzzing today as the time to "go dark" became more and more imminent. Leading this new Global movement is the world's only non-evil corporation, Google, who are taking the lead and in promoting the "go dark" initiative.

(Yeah so that is totally redundant, look at the hips on her!!! Jeeezuss lord I'm on my knees praying here!)



Now everyone should know by now that TDL is based in a sprawling office complex in the highly metropolitan city of Paterson, NJ. Paterson is a widely diverse city consisting of nearly 4% non-blacks, so the members of the TDL News Team have been "going dark" for quite sometime. And all along we had no idea that our regular Saturday night routine of getting a....

• A decanter of King Cobra Malt Liquor
  
• a banana cognac blunt
  
• and a fine foxy hoochie mama
  

....could be good for the enviornment or whatever.



TDL highly encourages all the peoples of the earth to join us, and Google in this endeavor of making the world a better place through the noble act of banging a black chick.



For some reason the Neanderthals over at Hot Air are dead set against "going dark" but you know what they say "once you go dark, you never go back" so get with the times Ed Morrissey

TDL REBELS AGAINST MSM: FITNA

Here is the "controversial" Dutch film "Fitna", which has been deemed so offensive that it has been banned by most online servers. What's so horrible about this movie? Well, it mainly tells you what the Koran says. Of course, this means it doesn't neatly fit into the "Religion of Peace" paradigm MSM and the left wants us all to buy.

The version below is in English.



SO MUCH FOR THAT! ONCE AGAIN FREE SPEECH HAS BEEN COWED BY MUSLIM TERRORISTS.

FUCK ISLAM. FUCK MUHAMMED. AND FUCK ALLAH, IF IS IS THE TYPE OF GOD MUSLIMS BELIEVE IN. WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED BY THESE FASCIST TERRORISTS.

Well as of 4pm it still appears to be hosted here, however the page is slow to load and you might have to refresh it a few times.

Having seen the movie, all I can say is that its a bunch of footage of 9/11 as well as the London and Madrid train bombings coupled with actual verses from the Koran that justify violence. It also has footage of Muslim imams calling for the death of "infidels" and jews. Really, there is no reason why this movie should be banned in any free society.

What have we become?

****TDL SALUTES****

Our good buddy Swamp Rat.


He's heading over to Iraq real soon, and we all hope he has a safe tour, and that he can keep the sand out of his shorts, for a little while at least.

From all your pals at TDL:

TLA, Number 2, and A.C #1



SEND THE TERRORISTS TO ALLAH, SWAMP RAT! WTG, BROTHER. PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. -TLA



America- Fuck Yeah!

TDL: The Shameless Adriana Lima pic post Two

TDL: The Shameless Adriana Lima pic post

OBAMA TO PUBLIC: YOU WONT VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE YOU'RE RACIST

B.O. on the Reverend Wright debacle:

"In some ways this controversy has actually shaken me up a little bit and gotten me back into remembering that, you know, the odds of me getting elected have always been lower than some of the other conventional candidates," the Illinois senator told CNN in an interview that aired late Wednesday.

Huh?

Did he just imply that the reason his campaign is suffering after the Wright affair is because the voters are bigoted????

It sure sounds that way to me.

This guy is a fucking jackass and doesn't deserve a single vote from any real American. If the "odds" against you were so great, Barack, why were you at last count thrashing Hillary and up until a week ago ahead of McCain (a war hero) in the national polls?

I think the facts are manifestly clear that Americans were willing to look past your skin color and your Muslim name until YOU AND YOUR SUPPORTERS made race an issue.

YOU chose to attend a militant church and YOU chose to accept a "mentor" who believes AIDS was invented by the government to kill blacks. For all of your empty rhetoric about getting beyond race, YOU chose to accept the support and tutelage of some of the most ignorant, racist people in the entire nation. YOUR WIFE has claimed that a black man cannot safely go to a gas station in the USA, and YOUR ADVISORY COMMITTEE has openly called for slavery reparations.

In short, YOU MADE THIS A RACIAL THING and now you have the nerve to imply that the odds were stacked against you because of your race? Go to fucking hell.

TDL Classics: Paul Krugman The TDL Interview:

By: A.C #1

For millions of Americans flipping through the New York Times looking for Paul Krugman's latest column is a daily ritual. Among opinion writers few stand as tall as Krugman, his astute and balanced view of America is highly influential throughout the world. An esteemed bon vivant, Paul Krugman's speaking engagements entertain and inform tens of thousands of audience members a year. With several best selling books to his credit Mr.Krugman seeks to educate the masses and open doors previously held shut by decades of white Christian Zionist dogma.

WRIGHTGATE

Yeah, who broke dis shit to ya'll honky crackers well befo' the media???

Damn straight, ya white devils. Obama sez: "Fuck Whitey!!!"

MOONBAT IDIOCY IN NYC

This picture was taken near City Hall in Lower Manhattan, NYC:




In other news, the City of New York has announced plans to rename still other thoroughfares:

5th Avenue will now be called People With SARS Street

Broadway will now be called Crackwhores With Clap Concourse

The FDR Drive will be renamed Animals with Incurable Ass Cancer Avenue

and 42nd Street will now be called The Native American Children With Indigestion and Ingrown Toenails Hopeful Road of Change.


For more Moonbattery, why not visit Moonbattery?

TDL OPINION: FUCK THE ORYMPICS!

Yeah, you heard me. Fuck the orympics and the government of China arong rith them.

As if the regime in China wasn't sickening enough with its support of the Sudanese government in their rape of Darfur, or its constant sabre rattling concerning the re-unification by force of a smaill island (Taiwan) to the mainlaind against its people's will, we now have this disgusting story out of Beijing.

Apparently, in an attempt to 'tidy up' for this year's utterly irrelevant Olympic Games, the Chinese have resorted to murdering thousands of stray cats around the capital.

Now I'm the last person on earth you'd confuse for a PETA member, but what the fuck is the purpose of this slaughter? Why would cats be so offensive and repulsive to the Chinese that they must kill them in their thousands before the olympics??

Which brings me to another thought- what the fuck does China think is so fucking special about the olympics? Chime in if you feel differently, but I feel that the olympic games have become completely pointless in the post cold war world. I really cant believe that the world's most populous nation is so insecure that it needs a two week long fingerblast of amature shit sports like shot putting or water polo to act as its geopolitical debutante ball.

What a bunch of fucking losers. When the olympic games were proposed for New York City in 2012, the vast majority of New Yorkers were opposed to the games. New Yorkers, secure in themselves, identified the games for what they are: a waste of time and tax money that screw up traffic and fuck up people's lives for two weeks.

The Chinese government's entire world strategy has revolved around these fucking games for the past decade. They rallied their entire nation to land the games, and now their psychosis has reached fever pitch in their slaughter of, of all things, harmless cats.

Well I say to China: Who the fuck cares???? Fuck the olympics and fuck you. I dont see China as a great nation because of the olympics; In fact I have lost what little respect for that government that I had to begin with. Do you really want to be a great nation? Begin with adopting a constitution and the rule of law. Have free elections and abolish the one-party rule system. Then tell Taiwan that you don't really care if they 're-unite' with the mainland, since you already have 1.3 billion people to begin with.

Instead, China will forge ahead with its revolting attempt at getting the world to like it, like a drooling overgrown unwashed autistic trying to ask a cheerleader to the prom. Well I hope that by the time the olympics roll around and the cats are all slaughtered, that Beijing is infested with millions of diseased rats to go along with those already at the helm of the 'people's republic'.

And I hope that the West grows a dick and boycotts these games. Nothing would do more to fuck up the plans of the world's next great brutal authoritarian dictatorship than to rob it of the object of its obsession for the past decade. China must know that when it acts in a barbaric manner, the West will take notice in unison.

TDL OPINION: VICTIMFIGHT!!!!

This is from Maureen Dowd's opinion piece in today's Left Wing Propaganda Shitrag New York Times:

"With Obama saying the hour is upon us to elect a black man and Hillary saying the hour is upon us to elect a woman, the Democratic primary has become the ultimate nightmare of liberal identity politics. All the victimizations go tripping over each other and colliding, a competition of historical guilts."

I never thought I'd say this, but the bitch is spot on.

And I love every minute of it. For too long, left wing cocksuckers have been exploiting their highly embellished victimization for their own cynical political purposes. It's about time that they choke on it.

Ever wonder what goes on in the swirling, stinking cesspool that is the left winger's mind? Try this pearl of wisdom on for size:

"Ali Gallagher, a white Hillary volunteer in Austin told The Washington Post’s Krissah Williams: 'A friend of mine, a black man, said to me, ‘My ancestors came to this country in chains; I’m voting for Barack.’ I told him, ‘Well, my sisters came here in chains and on their periods; I’m voting for Hillary.’ '"

Yes, that's how these people think. Lets examine that thought process, shall we?

1) In regard to the Black Man: True, your ancestors may have come here in chains, but the last slaves to come to America came over 140 years ago. YOU have never been a slave, and YOU are far better off that your ancestors had not been left in Africa. Instead of living in a hopeless malaise of pestilence and poverty, begging for foreign aid from Bono, you live in a first world nation with access to the world's biggest economy, plentiful jobs, and the best health care. Just the fact that you have the ability to vote for your president is something that is a direct result of your ancestors being brought 'here in chains', so stop whining about something that happened to people you never even met. More than half a million Americans were slaughtered for the sins of slavery, and millions more were maimed for life (see The Civil War).

PS- Blacks weren't the only people to ever be slaves, so why do they have exclusive victimhood rights to it? Slavs, such as Russians or Serbians for example, were taken as slaves so regularly that the word 'slave' is descended from the word 'Slav'.

2) to 'Ali Gallagher': I suppose when you're not enough of a victim, you have to manufacture injustices such as 'The Great Menstruating Sex Slave Roundup of 1825'. Since fucking when were women 'chained' and brought to America?? Better yet, how can you equivocate the plight of women here to what happened to Africans? Your stupid assed relatives should have stayed in Ireland and starved to death so that your idiocy would not be polluting our gene pool today. Its no surprise you're voting for Hillary, since you are obviously dumb enough to be duped by those two clumsy frauds (i.e. the Clintons) into thinking that they stand for anything other than their own grip on power.

In any case, I think that blacks and feminists ought to fight it out to the death. Of course, we all know that blacks easily win the victimhood fight (see Victimhood Poker), and Obama will still be the nominee. I just hope that they victimfight long enough so that Mavrick (see John McCain) wins the presidency. I'm not a great fan of Mav, but at least I know he won't run away from terrorists.


TLA'S PREDICTIONS: Look for Hillary to continue her attacks on the media, alleging that Obama gets a 'free ride'. This is rich coming from a Clinton considering the 8 years of softball coverage they enjoyed during the 90's. Additionally, Hillary gained some traction by rightfully asking if we really want Obama in charge during a national security crisis. For Hilldog to continue to be successful, she should keep the focus on Obama's lack of experience rather than her own so-called 'experience', which the voters can see through. As a side note, did anyone else notice that in Hillary's Ohio victory speech she was prominently flanked on the stage with by a black woman? The Clintons are priceless.

Look for Obama to counter attack tough media coverage with the race card. These attacks will not come through him, but rather via proxies that are white and probably female. Also, Obama will seek to counteract his percieved lack of experience with the valid argument that Hillary's time as Bill Clinton's wife does not make her experienced in running a nation. Regardless, Obama's 'Hope & Change' mantra might be losing its steam. Did Obama peak too early?

NUMBER 2's PREDICTIONS: Expect the price of prostitutes to rise as the weak dollar and inflation take their toll.