The DICK LIST

HEAR YE, HEAR YE. THE GOOD BOOK OF LIB BE UPON US!

2009-06-01T22:58:00.005-04:00

THE BOOK OF LIB

Chapter 1

IN THE BEGINNING, there was nothing. Then there was the big bangeth, which did issue forth over billions of years all the universe and all its diverse particles from the "singularity", which was also nothing. These particles included atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, quarks, neutrinos, toxins and carbon. The universe thus comes from nothing and exists in nothing and is constantly expanding into more nothing. Billions of years later, it was theretofore cleverly deduced by progressive humans who live upon a small portion of a tiny speck in this vast sea of black nothingness, and who discovered internal combustion a century ago, that the existance of God is a preposterous superstition.

Anyhow, it came to pass that one day a few atoms got together to form protein, and a few proteins formed a sphere, and inside these spheres developed long chains of amino acids which organized in such a way as to replicate themselves. From a few billion years of this came life.

At first, life was anaerobic and peaceful and sought to generate green energy by capturing the sun's wholesome rays and turning them into ATP for the benefit of all other single celled organisms. There were no religion and no countries, and all the organisims lived for the day. This paradise was called slime mold.

Then one day a greedy, antisocial organism nefariously developed something called the electron transport chain, and began to amass more ATP than the other organisms which it wouldn't share. Incidentally, this organism was called D. cheynicoccus. Soon cheynicoccus grew a fancy new flagellum with all his spare ATP, and then he began to phagocytose the peaceful, green egalitarian anaerobes. Thus, the first income inequity and violence began, concurrent with the birth of the Republican party- 2.3 billion years ago this week.

And so it was that violence and unfairness besmudged gaia the Earth mother, and soon the peaceful eco-conscious slime molds were relegated to the very periphery of thier own planet as more and more fascist organisms competed with one another to steal the most ATP.....

stay tuned for Chapter 2

TDL's MAN OF THE YEAR, 2008

2009-01-04T11:23:00.002-05:00

TDL nominates Italian marxist Antonio Gramsci.

Who is Antonio Gramsci? The appropriate question is who was Antonio Gramsci. He died in 1937. Over 71 years after his death, however, his influence is ascendant. Heck, he helped elect the next president of the USA.

Gramsci was a marxist thinker who differed from the orginal marxists in one key way. Whereas men like Lenin believed that the lower classes would revolt against the upper classes when given some power in the form of arms, Gramsci posited that it was not just police and military (i.e. overt force of arms) that kept the lowly proletariat in its place. Instead, Gramsci theorized that an additional factor was at work- a factor which he dubbed 'cultural hegemony'.

'Cultural hegemony', in the definition of Gramsci, means simply that the upper classes have created a society and a system of values/morals which are supported by that society's institutions. These institutions include the church, education system, political system and media. Due to the institutions, the lower classes do not recognize that they are being oppressed- thus preventing their revolt.

Gramsci theorized that the proletariat would only truly revolt against the upper class once the 'cultural hegemony' instilled by the institutions was broken. The institutions of the upper classes would have to be infiltrated and the values they promulgated- regardless of merit- would have to be undermined. Once the institutions where undermined, a new system of values would be instilled in the public. These values would be in inherent conflict with the old values, which they would strive to destroy. Gramsci called this systematic takeover of institutions of capitalist society "the long march through the institutions". He recognized it could take decades.

Antonio Gramsci died in prison under Mussolini. To the Western world's everlasting detriment, the evil genius was not shot before he could put his HIV-in-writing to paper.

Eventually, a group of marxist theorists called the Frankfurt School came into possession of Gramsci's writings, which heavily influenced them. When the Nazis took over Germany, many of the Frankfurt school fled to the United States, where they were seeded in universities such as Columbia in New York. Undoubtedly they received funding and support from Soviet secret services. They also had support of influential Americans such as Edward R. Murrow, who was already in a very powerful position within the news media. Soon enough, Gramscians were seeded throughout the universities, where they used tenure as a means to protect themselves as they slowly promulgated their ideas.

The real coup, however, was the infiltration of the news media which began in the late 1950s through the mid 1960s. This was to be expected, as the Gramscians were teaching journalism students. In fact, the genius of the Gramscians was in infiltrating institutions without ever mentioning Gramsci's name or his theories. Soon, a whole generation of college graduates were inoculated with Gramsci's ideas- ideas specifically designed to bring about the downfall of society- without even knowing it. To these people, most of whom meant well, they were doing the moral and good thing. This persists today.

One needs only look objectively at what's going on today to see the success of Gramsci. For example, if one were to think of the opposite of 'Cultural Hegemony', the first things to come to one's mind would be 'Diversity' or 'Multiculturalism'. Today, Diversity and Multiculturalism are sacred cows beyond reproach or question in public, and they were invented by Gramscians in order to subvert Western institutions.

As we all know, 'diversity' and 'multiculturalism' as forwarded by the modern Left stand for the principles that anything that is of the Western male tradition is wrong and tainted by oppression, racism, and guilt. Diversity is sold to impressionable college students as a good thing because it exposes us to 'different perspectives', however it doesn't take a genius to see that those interested in diversity don't want to hear any viewpoints that differ from their own. 'Diversity', in fact, strives to create people all of the same perspective with different shades of skin.

The giant lie that is diversity is doggedly protected by the leftist intelligentsia, which cleverly hide its real intentions with the shield of 'racism'. To the left's foot soldiers- i.e. those who have been inoculated with the left's thought patterns but don't realize or understand how or why they're being used- anyone who attacks diversity is either uneducated or a horrid Nazi racist KKK member who would as soon murder 6 million people in ovens or lynch blacks. No one is allowed to consider that multiculturalism and diversity might be a bad thing for a country without a common ethnic identity like the United States. The fact is that multiculturalism and diversity were invented by academic marxists in order to destroy the United States as it existed by undermining the elements of common culture that drew us together- namely the concept of Western civilization. This is also why amongst universities it has been the trend to drop Western Culture core classes from the curriculum.

In any case, I credit Gramsci as being the man of the year for 2008 because his ideas leading to infiltration of our institutions have been so successful and nearly impossible to stop. Our news media, universities, and politics are rotten to the core. Just the fact that a lightweight such as Obama was even considered for election is proof enough.

Our institutions are thoroughly infected by leftists, most of whom don't even know they've been carefully manipulated by marxist maniacs. These people think they're fighting for equality and freedom, but in reality they are hastening the collapse of Western power and the downfall of our societies. This, after all, is what the ultimate goal of Gramsci was- the destruction of the West so that the perfect socialist Utopia could be created in its place.

Unfortunately for all of us, the socialist utopia will never come because it is impossible. Human nature assures that. Instead, the future will belong to those countries that have not been infected with Gramscism- ironically countries such as China. The Chinese pay lip service to Communism but really they are an ultra-nationalist fascist state. They need just sit back and let us kill ourselves, and then feed from our corpse.

I sigh as I see thousands of Europeans protest Israel for defending itself against unprovoked rocket attacks..... is there any hope for the West?

TDL 'HOLIDAY' CLASSICS: DARRYL THE DIVERSE DONKEY

2008-12-17T22:23:00.004-05:00

By: The List Administrator

-CHAPTER 1-

Along time ago on a winter's day cold,

Darryl the Donkey went to the North Pole.

Darryl was eager, that much is clear

to join Santa's team of flying reindeer.

And inside the home of the jolly old elf,

Darryl the Donkey soon found himself.

His ears both pricked up and his pulse became quick,

for he was to interview with good ole Saint Nick!

"So what can you do to bring kids enjoyment,

that I should consider your wish for employment?"

said Santa Claus who was always direct,

as he peered at Darryl from behind his square specs.

"I can't run, I hate cold, I won't work with the boys

and with my bad back I can't make any toys,

I don't want a desk job; that truly bores me

and lots of hard work rightly deplores me,

I get sick very often and I need lots of rest,

and true, I scored low on your aptitutde test,

but what I want; what would truly be fair

is to team with reindeer and take to the air!"

"Well then," Santa said with a gleam in his eye,

"my question to you is how well do you fly?"

"Well that's just the thing," said Darryl, "what's more,

since I am a donkey, I can't really soar.

As a matter of fact, I can't fly at all,

but most of your reindeer are strong and are tall.

I just can't see why they won't pick up all the slack,

and fly me along as I ride on their backs."

"Now then" said Santa "I regret to inform you

that if you can't fly then I just can't employ you,

'cause we run a tight ship and we have to meet deadlines

and if we mess up we'll be standing in bread lines.

With taxes so high and the libs' victory

we're a bad year away from full bankruptcy!"

"Oh I see" said Darryl, a scowl on his face,

"you don't want to employ me because of my race!

So I'm not a reindeer, that much is true,

but in your whole office there's nary a Jew.

And although you have elves named Jimmy and Tom,

not one person here believes in Islam.

Yes you have reindeer, but no pigs and no monkeys,

no mules, no gay aardvarks, no wombats or donkeys!

I don't want to believe it and I hate to say this:

but good old Saint Nick is a mean, full-blown racist!"

"Now wait just a minute" said Santa real loud,

"what makes you think you can push me around!?!

for I am Chris Kringle and millions all trust me

and I have no jobs for one earth-bound donkey.

Now get out of here or I'll call security."

"Well you haven't heard the last thing from me!

for I have a friend, most wise and most true,

I'll call Holiday Claus and her ACLU!"

and off Darryl stormed into the cold night,

determined to struggle for his 'civil rights'.

-CHAPTER 2-

So a few weeks went on, Chris forgot of the scrap,

and he had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to his wondering eyes came to order,

But a female Inuit and eight tiny reporters!

With a ten hybrid cars, so lively and quick,

he knew in a moment it must be that bitch.

More rapid than eagles reporters they came,

And they whistled, and shouted, and called out their names;

"I'm RATHER! I'm WILLIAMS! I'm COURIC and SAWYER!

I'm GIBSON! I'm WALTERS! I'm SCHEIFFER and MOYERS!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

We know there's a story, lets make Santa fall!"

An upon the door there was heard such shudder,

that Missus Claus' heart had started to flutter,

then the door flew ajar and now stood with no pause,

a mob of reporters and Holiday Claus!

"I'm Holiday Claus of the ACLU,

and I'm here to watch all the things that you do"

"Sweet jesus, my dear, why the hell are you here?"

said old Santy Claus loud enough to be clear.

"First and most foremost, I'll ask you real nice,

that you never again come to mention the Christ,

As you know true enough, my explanation is given-

I'm the first holiday icon to have no religion.

I'm female and dark skinned and American native,

from the ACLU, 'cause they are creative.

They made me to make sure that things will be fair,

and not 'Christmas' but 'Holiday' we will all share.

I'm here to make sure no one's ever offended,

not a Hindu or fruity gay man who's rear-ended,

by this celebration of all things that are Christian,

so I push 'Holiday', 'cause that is my mission.

Now what is this troubling thing that I hear,

of you only working with flying reindeer?"

"Now wait just one minute", said Couric, Katie

"Is it true, sir, you won't hire a lady?

'cause me and my crew interviewed all your elves

and there wasn't a woman with boobs like myself!"

And then interrupted the anchor Dan Rather:

"Anti-Hispanic is what I can gather,

for I didn't see one elf from Chiapas,

one brown-skinned snowman or a maid from Honduras."

"Why did you think you could keep being racist?"

Asked all the reporters, frowns on thier faces.

"I have no comment, from the news I'm averse

but I'll certainly make 'Holiday' more diverse"

and with that one comment Chris pushed them all out

o'er the din of reporters' protesting and shouts.

And outside his cottage sat CNN and Fox News,

and Sharpton and Rangel and News Channel 2.

And across the T.V. ran the bold head-line ticker:

"Former employees say Santa said 'nigger'"

-CHAPTER 3-

As the days turned to weeks, there was nary a switch;

news choppers, Geraldo, a hit piece by Frank Rich;

Large protetst marches and much condemnation;

widespread prescripted 'sensitivity training'.

And Santa had no way from this P.R. mess,

and he knew that he had to do now what was best;

to save his whole business, his family and work,

He would have to give in and hire the jerk;

so he picked up the phone and gave Darryl a call,

and told him he could work over there after all,

and then to the news-papers St. Nick announced he

was starting a program for North Pole diversity.

But in order to hire the 'flight-challenged' ass,

Santa released an employee with class,

who was a great flyer from his head to his toes,

who once had saved Christmas with his glowing, red nose.

'cause Rudolph, you see, though he flew with authority,

was Santa's one reindeer with the lowest seniority.

"I'm sorry" said Kringle, "we're all gonna miss you...

but with this tight budget I just cannot keep you."

"But I worked hard for this job!" protested Rudolph with shock,

"now I'm out on my ass, my God, what a CROCK!!!"

"Maybe next Christmas I'll hire you back,

but now I need you to clean up and pack,

for Darryl'll soon be here, the press close in chase,

and for them we need to put on our best face,

and pre-tend everything's all merry and glee,

so maybe the news will forget about me,

so I can go back to making great toys,

for all of the planet's good girls and good boys."

And out walked poor Rudolph, his stuff in a box,

and straight to a strip-club dubbed 'The Arctic FoXXX',

went the red-nosed reindeer, to drink 'way his sorrow

and worry 'bout his lack of employment tomorrow.

And drink lots did Rudolph and get five lap-dances,

and slip all his dollars in strippers' small pantses,

and when morning came, they threw Rudolph out

stinking of liquor; a pugnatious lout.

And alone sat poor Rudolph, all drunk in the snow;

no money, no job, not one piece of doe.

-CHAPTER 4-

Meanwhile Chris Kringle made a few other moves,

to make sure the media of him did approve.

He hired El Senior Muy Guappo Snow Hombre

Diego Montoya Martinez Del Andres,

the first 'latin' snowman, made all of brown 'snow',

from south of the border in ole' Mex-i-co.

He hired a toymaking elf from Hong Kong,

and he brought in a Jewish accountant named Ron,

and when all the newsmen came in for the story,

Santa's North Pole shone with di-verse glory!

"Here's our new COO, an elfette named Lanarra"

said jolly Chris Kringle, posing for the cameras,

"And here's our new Muslim elf, Haji Al-Haq,

he's building a bomb in our Christmas Toy Shoppe."

And the reporters were happy; they shouted with glee:

"Oh my, what a great 'Holiday' this will be!!!"

For they had, in thier minds, changed things for the best,

even though toymaking now was a great mess,

'cause elfette Lanarra as a boss was a dud,

and nobody likes a 'snowman' made of mud,

and Darryl the Donkey came in after 3,

and Haji Al-Haq messed with T-N-T,

so toys were made slow; there just weren't enough,

and test-flights sans Rudolph turned out to be tough,

'cause while Donder and Blitzen strained to go high,

Darryl just sat there, eating some pie,

and giving them pointers on how to fly better,

wrapped in a down jacket and heavy wool sweater.

"This is crazy!" yelped Comet, "I've had enough of this shit.

if didn't have mortgage, I'd surely have quit!"

"If you think that's bad, then listen to this crap-

I think that dirt 'snowman' stole all of my hubcaps!"

exclaimed mighty Dasher, huffing as he spoke,

dragging the sleigh from behind his tight yoke.

But Darryl just sat there, chatting real slickly

on his cell-phone with his fat girl-friend, 'Vicki'.

Resented by others, Darryl couldn't care less,

'cause his benefits were quite near the best,

he had medical, and dental, and coverage galore,

and he could retire at age fifty-four,

and live on his pension as if it was free,

and maybe at forty he'd claim dis'bility,

and sleep till ten-thirty and hang out in his bed,

and then work off the books for his first cousin, Fred.

-CHAPTER 5-

As the big day grew close, more changes were witnessed

such as the out-lawing of the word they call "Christmas".

Instead, "Merry Holiday" was used at all meetings,

or "Have a Great Kwanzaa" or just "Season's Greetings".

And though toy production was utterly slow,

Santa himself outlawed the word "Ho",

and he hired a publicist to invent a new phrase;

much more gender-neutral to appeal to the babes,

and so "Go Go Go!" became his new call,

"Merry Holiday to you- and tolerance of all!"

And as he packed up his sleigh for 'Holiday' Eve Night,

all of Santa's elves were panicked with fright,

for Haji had blown himself up with a thud,

and splattered Diego, the 'snowman' of mud.

and as flame and fire raged out of control,

Darryl just sat there, smoking a bowl.

"This night is stressful, I needed a hit"

said Darryl the Donkey "...and this is good shit!

I can't wait to fly, it'll be a phat trip

now what in the world did I do with those chips...."

As he climbed in the sleigh, red-eyed and all

his great big fat ass caused some presents to fall,

out to the ground, but he didn't care

for he had grown sleepy in the cold winter air.

-CHAPTER 6-

And as Darryl napped, the Jolly Old Elf

had to do the hard work all by his damn self,

Of loading the presents into the sleigh,

and giving the reindeer adequate hay.

And since Darryl was big, there was less room for toys

to give to all the world's good girls and good boys.

So some kids awoke the next day without glee,

to find there was emptyness under their tree,

and others were sad, its hard to debate

for thier Chritsmas toys showed up three days late!

And after that Christmas there was much commotion;

the North Pole was un-used to terror explosions!

And Comet soon quit to find a new job

and Darryl the Donkey was still a fat slob,

who came in real late, and did what he wanna,

and talked to his girlfriend, and smoked marijuana.

And even though millions of kiddies were sad,

the ACLU could not see the bad,

that they had imposed upon all of those others,

'cause now 'Holiday' featured different skin colors.

And the media reporters went to their next story,

in a non-ending cycle of self-centered glory,

to find the next 'scoop' and break the next big one,

regardless the impact it had on the children,

or the soldiers, or homefront, or all of the nation,

'cause to them all that matters is getting high ratings.

-CHAPTER 7-

And one day I saw Santy Claus three years past,

and Darryl the Donkey was still on his ass;

as he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all sputtered, slow like a lead missile.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"MERRY HOLIDAY TO ALL, AND TO ALL A TOLERANT NIGHT."

MERRY HOLIDAY FROM YOUR BUDDIES AT TDL NEWS!!!!!!!

TDL CLASSICS: MERRY HOLIDAY from the ACLU!

2008-12-09T19:58:00.000-05:00

DON'T FORGET TO SEE THE SECOND HOLIDAY CLAUS EPIC!

Once upon a time on a winter's evening fair,
appeared a fine figure as quick as a hare

Arriving on a sleigh on a brisk wind so cool,
the figure got out and walked towards your kid's school....

Teacher: Okay kids, settle down and finish your milk. Today we a very special holiday treat for you...

Kids: Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!

Teacher: We're going to have an extra special visitor who wears a red suit and comes from a far away and cold land, so I want you kids to be super nice.....

Timmy: Is it....is it....SANTA CLAUS???

Luis: IT MUST BE SANTA!!!!

Nicole: Yay! SANTA!!!! I want a pony!

Billy: I'm gonna leave him cookies!!!

Christine: Did he bring his waynedeers?

Kids: Yaaaaaayyyyy SANTA!

[visitor walks into the room]

Timmy: wait....thats not.....

Teacher: Now I want you kids to give an extra special kindergarten welcome to our new friend from the ACLU, HOLIDAY CLAUS!

[kids are silent]

HOLIDAY CLAUS: GO GO GO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Hello children!!! I hope everyone is having an extra tolerant and inclusive holiday season.....

Luis: Aren't you supposed to say "Ho Ho Ho"?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Now then, little boy, "Ho" is a word that might be construed as a derogatory epithet towards women. "Go" is a positive and empowering word which encourages participation, diversity, and tolerance!

Christine: Why do you look like that?

Johnny: You don't look like santa....

Timmy: He's a girl.....

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Precisely, little boy! In fact, I am the first female Alaskan Eskimo/Inuit/Native American to be recognized as a holiday icon! I was created by the wonderful people down at the American Civil Liberties Union to be the most inclusive and inoffensive holiday symbol ever, and to make sure no one is ever offended by others celebrating their faith.

Billy: BUT I WANT SANTA!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Now now, little boy, using the "S" word here in this classroom is intolerable because that would violate the constitutional separation between church and state. You see, if we don't respect the separation between church and state, people like George W. Bush and Bill O'Reilly will break in to your home late at night, kill your parents, and baptize you while you sleep! How would you like that, to wake up with water all over your head and a George W. Bush singing Christian hymns next to the lifeless bodies of your mommy and daddy???

Billy [eyes welling up with tears]: I want my mommy!!!

Christine: Can we sing Cwistmas cawols?

Luis: I like Rudolph the Red Nosed Rein...

HOLIDAY CLAUS: CHILDREN! The "C" word is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN from this classroom! Why, what has your teacher been teaching you???

Teacher: What's the big deal? Christmas is only ten da...

HOLIDAY CLAUS: ENOUGH! I will not tolerate that word spoken here in this classroom!!! What are you trying to do, get this kids convicted of THOUGHTCRIMES?

Nicole: Th--thawtcwimes???

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Yes, little girl, thoughtcrimes.

Jimmy: What's a taughtcrime?

Luis: I want to go home!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Well, children, its actually quite simple. A thoughtcrime occurs when: 1) A person with white colored skin 2) who is Christian 3) believes in, thinks of, or speaks of ideas or concepts which might be construed by any non-white skinned or non-Christian person as offensive in any way, shape, or form.

Jimmy: I like Chips Ahoy. Is that a thoughtcwime?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Not unless eating cookies offends a non-Christian or someone with skin that is not white.....

Luis: I have white colored skin and I love Santa. Am I guilty?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Are you Christian?

Luis: Yes.

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Then you are guilty.

Luis: Aye, dios mio!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: OH...was that Spanish I did hear? Why, then you are not guilty after all! I forgot to mention: Spanish speakers and thier children cannot commit thoughtcrimes.

Luis: Yay! I'm gonna call my daddy in Madrid and tell him how good I am!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Oh....did you say Madrid as in Spain? Forget it, you're guilty.

Luis [crying]: I don't like Holiday Claus! I want to go home!

Christine: Can we pet your waynedeers?

Tommy: Yeah, I wanna see your sleigh!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Okay, kids, follow me... [walks outside to street in front of the school; kids follow]

Billy: Is that your sleigh???

Christine: Where are your waynedeers?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Children! I'm disappointed in you! Don't you know that its wrong to capture innocent anmials and make them do your bidding? Hasn't PETA visited you yet?

Tommy: Who's Peter?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Silly children! My sleigh is climate change resistant and earth friendly! Its made of a lightweight polystyrene and latex epoxy resin composed entirely of recyled 2 liter Coca-Cola bottles and used condoms. It's powered by a team of four ultra-efficient hybrid cars, each which cost more than $107,000. On a good day, I can crank that baby up to almost 25 miles per hour!

Christine [sobbing]: BUT I WIKE WAYNEDEER...

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Now then, little one, don't cry! Would a nice holiday gift make you cheer up?

Kids: Yaaaaaaayyyyy! CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: CHILDREN! I warned you about using the "C" word. It is simply intolerable in today's day and age...

Billy: why?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Why? Because whoever uses the "C" word is an un-American traitor to our country. You see, kids, a long time ago the founders of our country wrote a document called The Constitution. In The Constitution, it was written that every American citizen has the absolute right to never be offended.

Teacher: I don't remember that being in the Constitution! Exactly where are you getting that from?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Oh sure, it's in there- in the 34th Amendment right next to the right to kill fetuses.

Teacher: Wait a minute, there aren't 34 amendements......

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Sure there are. But I digress. Using the "C" word or celebrating Christian holidays on public property also violates the constitutional separation between church and state! It's a slippery slope and we must be ever vigiliant! You see, first they'll be putting "C" trees in front of the courthouse and before you know it they will throw out the law books and use Jesus law instead. In the end, we'll all be forced to pay tithes to the Pope and atheists will be burnt at the stake. So you see, we have to stop the pernicious merger of church and state right where it starts- on decorated pine trees and in cheap plastic light-up nativity scenes at the local firehouse!

Nicole: [tugging on Holiday Claus' shirt] H-Holiday Claus.....w-why do you say that Cwismas is so o-opensive?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: "C" is offensive to anyone who isn't Christian. Think of your little Jewish friend, Josh. Do you really want to make him feel left out during the holiday season? What are you, some sort of little Eichmann or something?

Nicole [begins crying]: n-no...

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Now Joshua, don't you feel included now that no one can celebrate "C" any longer?

Josh: No, not weally. Do you think Batman could beat Superman in a fight?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: My, the violence we teach our youth! Don't you know that fighting is never the answer?

Billy: Holiday Claus, you said we could have presents.....

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Ah, yes, I almost forgot...... who wants PRESENTS???

Kids: MEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Timmy: I want a battle bot 2000!

Jimmy: I want an Xbox!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Great! How about......you! You there- take this wonderful gift...

Jimmy [glumly]: Oh.......its a....................book.

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Why, its not just a book! Its a limited edition of Susan Sontag's final tome on Gender Economics as Applied to African Americans Between the Ages of 18 and 34! Isn't that exciting?!?

Jimmy: ummm............ thanks.......I guess.......

HOLIDAY CLAUS: And this for you, little girl! It's by the French postmodern deconstructionist Jacques Derrida!

Christine [tears welling up]: But I wanted a pony....

Luis: Holiday Claus, can I have one of those things you have stuck to your chest?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Oh, you mean these? Silly boy, they're awareness ribbons! Red is for AIDS, yellow is for cancer, pink is for breast cancer, multi-culored is for autism, blue is for blue balls and lavender is a catch-all ribbon for all of the maladies I've forgotten to be aware of.

Luis: What's khaki for?

HOLIDAY CLAUS: My my, I seem to have forgotten. Now then, what gift would you like? How about this free copy of Al Franken's Lies and the Lying Liars that Tell Them?

Luis: He looks like a doody head...

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Nonsense, Al Franken is a great American hero! Fine, take this Lance Armstrong "Livestrong" bracelet. At least now you'll be aware. Okay now, children, gather 'round for Holiday Claus must leave you all very soon.

Kids: YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

HOLIDAY CLAUS: But before I depart, the ACLU mandates that we all gather around the Holiday Tree and sing a Holiday Carole!

Nicole: Can we sing Come All ye Faithful???

HOLIDAY CLAUS: [very angry] CERTAINLY NOT! One more outburst like that and ill have to call the lawyers to this school! Okay kids, I'm through with your intolerant backwards red-state antics! No more nonsense. Hold hands and stand in a circle around the Holiday Tree right this instant! [the frightened kids comply] Good. Now repeat after me: WE SHALL O-VER-CO-O-OME....WE SHALL O-VER-CO-O-OME.....

Kids [some crying]: WE SHALL O-VER-CO-O-OME...WE SHALL O-VER-CO-OME....

HOLIDAY CLAUS: Wonderful! [hops into her earth-friendly sleigh] Remember, kids, the ACLU cares about you. We are here to fight for tolerance and religious diversity! We only want to protect you from biased right-wing religious whackos and those who would lead you into thoughtcrime temptation- like the authors of The Dick List. Remember, kids, that unless you want to live in a brutal theocracy, you must fight to make sure there are no decorated trees on public land! Please help us in our fight to eradicate thoughtcrime and offensiveness forever! Farewell children! A tolerant and inclusive holiday to all, and to all a good night! GO GO GO! [Holiday Claus speeds off towards the next elementry school].

And off went the bitch out into the cold,
and her hybrid cars' wheels started to roll.

And all of the childern began to be happy,
'cause they knew that Christmas no longer'd be crappy.

And back in the school the ACLU was gone,
and they celebrated Christmas like they had all along!

MERRY HOLIDAY AND AN EMPOWERING NEW YEAR FROM YOUR FREINDS AT THE DICK LIST AND THE ACLU!

For less sophomoric and better written thoughtcrime, please visit Rottweiler Puppy

For thoughtcrime straight from the heart of Brooklyn, N.Y., visit The Angry Italian

For other empowering links, please check the sidebar.

- By The List Administrator

Categories: ACLU, Christmas, war, nativity, Xmas, American, Civil, Liberties, Union, Culture, News, Politics, opinion, Santa, Claus, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrate,
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The Resurgence of the Left Explained!

2008-12-07T22:02:00.002-05:00

Males are being feminized by pesticides and other chemicals.

I knew there must be some scientific explanation for the faggotry we see throughout the West. If this keeps up, I suggest you invest in Broadway show tunes and Chinese lessons.

The Worst Possible Way To Go...

2008-11-28T13:04:00.002-05:00

- Number 2

Sometimes you read a story that makes you weep for humanity. Then there are stories like this, in which you begin to pray for the asteroid to hit and wipe us out already.

A worker at a Long Island Wal-Mart - a store walking distance from home - was killed when the mob outside tore the fucking doors off their hinges and trampled him to death. Because apparently a human fucking life is less important than $30 off a new flat screen TV.

I don't want to get to philosophical, but seriously, is there any more pointless way to die? Trampled to death by a stampede of people looking to get into a fucking sale? I hope every person there gets charged with Manslaughter, if not felony murder for their actions (they ripped the doors down rather than wait for the store to open, that has to be breaking and entering, and the death was a result of the felonious act).

Oh yeah, and in case you think it can't get much worse, it does. Apparently the cops on scene are having to deal with another mob of people getting agitated because the store - where a man was killed a few hours earlier - is closed. They have a squad in riot gear manning the police line in front of the store because people are raging at the cops for not letting them into the Wal-Mart. Fucking animals.

Obama's Choice

2008-11-26T15:16:00.002-05:00

And so the other day on Internet, I saw a Russian sociologist predicted that the United States would eventually collapse and break apart in the coming century.

Crazy?

While I think it's rather fanciful that the United States would break into many different smaller nations (the culture is far to monolitic despite our "diversity"), the idea that the United States government in its current form is impervious to collapse is not necessarily a proposition that I agree with.

The Government Accounting Office has indicated that by 2040 the entire United States budget will be taken up by Medicare, Medicaid, and interest payments on our debt. That leaves no money for education, infrastructure, or even defense.

If history shown us anything, it is shown us that a nation's military strength is closely tied to its economic strength. Additionally, the nation's political strength depends for the most part on its military strength. If the United States continues on its current path of guaranteeing medical benefits to some or most of the population without attempting to rein in the cost of medical care, it does not take a great leap of faith to foresee our nation going bankrupt.

The bankruptcy of the United States, however, will not happen in a vacuum. Rather, it will be a long, slow, painful decline which will see the dollar devalued to worthlessness (think the Argentine peso of the late '90s) and US bonds forced to pay out unconscionable interest rates. As the investing public around the world loses confidence in the US government to repay its debts, less and less investment capital will reach our shores.

Long before the United States reaches this apocalyptic phase, does anyone doubt that the politicians will find any way in their power to squeeze every last tax dollar out of the American public? In fact, you will see the government legislate its way into your supposedly tax-free 401(k) and Roth IRA. There will be an Internet tax and a carbon tax, and most likely taxes on all sorts of things that I cannot even dream of.

No, the economic decline of the United States will drag the welfare state down with it kicking and screaming. The public, in its endless stupidity, will ensure that its entitlements are the last aspect of our budget to cut.

Demographics and simple economics already dictate that our current system is unsustainable. That is, our system is already too big. Not only can it not get bigger, it must in fact shrink in order to ensure the survival of our country. Barack Obama, despite his campaign promises, apparently sees this. While I have no faith in his ability or his will to cut government spending, it appears that the economic necessity will for the time being force his hand.

The interesting question is whether Mr. Obama will stick to the course of cutting the size of government when the current economic downturn is nothing but a bad memory. If he does not, the economic and financial crisis of 2008 will be a footnote in history -- much like the economic crisis of 1907 -- as compared to the impending economic collapse that will occur before the year 2040.

Ironically enough, if any president had the power to put this country on a course away from out-of-control spending, it would be Obama. His position as a minority amongst liberals makes him unassailable, and any Republican that opposed spending cuts outside of the military sphere would have no chance at reelection.

So now all we have is hope -- that the President elect will see the light and cares about his country enough to make the tough decisions in the face of his party's big-spending orthodoxy.

I'm shocked, really....

2008-11-17T20:46:00.000-05:00

OBAMINATION

2008-11-04T20:40:00.003-05:00

So this country has been bamboozled into electing a neophyte socialist straight from the arms of far left academia. Surprised?

I am not.

I can hardly blame the public for its misinformed decision making. When one is blind and must depend on another's eyes, one sees what the other person wants.

The news media actively hid and or downplayed Obama's seedy past, while giving him glowing coverage for every set piece media gimmick he came up with. Additionally, the media has consistently downplayed or concealed the myriad failings of the left in general, from the housing crisis they helped create to their incredibly idiotic "retreat now" Iraq policy that has since been proven spectacularly wrong.

Now they have suspended the very laws of logic and convinced the voting public that high tax, anti-business socialists are "better with the economy". That's akin to telling people with high cholesterol that eating at Burger King is the best way to reduce the risk of heart attack.

The fact is that stock markets go up and they go down. Economies go into recession. These things happen, and they are to be expected. Its not the end of the world, and taxing business certainly will not facilitate an economic recovery.

Barack "Barry" Hussain Obama terrifies me. Its not because he's half black and its not because he has a Muslim name. Obama frightens me because he is a dyed in the wool socialist that is impossible to critique in today's media due to his skin color. Obama got into the presidency never having his past fully investigated or scrutinized. He was not treated the same as John McCain or even Hillary Clinton, and this was simply because of the color of his skin. His history of illicit drug use, his association with marxists, racists, and reparationists, his real estate dealings with felons, and his pompous hostility to blue collar "bibles and guns" America was all glossed over during this election.

As such, Barack is our first Affirmative Action president. This is a man who is unvetted and under qualified for the job he's been given, and who comes in the office untested due to melanin and political affiliation.

Sadly, I've seen what happens first hand to many affirmative action students once they reach college- they fail out or finish near the bottom of their class because they never had "the goods" to compete with their peers to begin with. That's what happens when a student is admitted due to the qualities of their outside instead of the qualities of their inside. Thing is, when an affirmative action student fails out, it only hurts that student. When Obama fails, we're all gonna pay the price.

Which leads me back to my initial point- that the Obama presidency is a presidency for the media and by the media. In that the media has enough power to get a lightweight affirmative action candidate like Obama elected, I propose that the media has become far too powerful. They have unbalanced our democracy, and their is no check on their power.

Something must be done. The American media is now a larger threat to the nation's security than terrorism.

Elmo's Timeless Liberal Wisdom

2008-10-27T20:18:00.003-04:00

"When Conservative Philosophies Fail" by Elmo

And lets face it, conservative philosophies always fail in the end. Not just one or two of the worst of them, all of them. Every. single. time. they are tried. It's one of those inevitable facts that plagues our history. But why? Why do conservatives, time and again, fight furiously to perpetrate old cockamamie conservative schemes on our society? History is very clear, yet their belief in these debunked philosophies only grows stronger in the face of overwhelming facts to the contrary!(Remember that Seinfeld episode were George says "it's not a lie...if you believe it!")

Yes, Elmo, good point. In fact, the 20th century is littered with the massive failures of the free market....

Oh, wait... maybe I was thinking of socialism....

The answer, quite clearly, is that they are socially retarded. And proud of it, to boot.

Your meds need to be doubled.

Lets start with the founding of this great nation. With the Seven Years' War over, leaving the British strapped for cash, the conservatives of the day, who called themselves Tories, figured that corporate welfare would be the fix to their financial woes.

I can't wait for this one....

That's right, supply side economics. One of their companies, The East India Company, who managed the tea trade on behalf of the British government, was going bankrupted. So they stopped the export tax on East India Company and started charging a modest import tax on American tea merchants. Then flooded the American market with cheap British tea. The conventional wisdom was, this will work because Americans love cheap shit! How'd that work out for ya, Tories?

Good one, dick. Did you mention the little part about the British government protecting the colonies from French and Indian attack? The reason taxes were implemented on the colonies after the war was to pay back the debt the British ran up defending them. The colonists had no problem with the principal of taxation by the crown. What they did have a problem with was TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. Sorta like what your liberal cockfags want to do when they tax businesses who in turn pass the higher costs on to the consumer.

Oh... and I now turn my attention to the most idiotic notion in your argument (and there are many). It goes something like this: "The British Government taxed American tea mearchants and then flooded the American market with cheap tea from the East India Company as a form of corporate welfare".

Lol.

Ask yourself this: where did these so called "American tea merchants" get their tea from?

Give up?

The East India Company you fucking moron. It was the only source of tea in America due to something called 'mercantilism' (look it up, dumbsky)- a non-freemarket system more akin to the type favored by liberals. America did not and does not today produce its own tea.

Thus, the British never 'flooded the market with cheap tea' to put Americans out of business since there was no domestic tea supply to begin with; what they imposed was a systemic and global import tax on tea brought to America by the East India Company. By taxing the tea and allowing the colonies no alternative supply, the result was an increase in tax revenue which was passed off as a cost of living increase. The closest modern parallel would be if the government placed a windfall tax on Exxon. The oil company would surely pass on the tax to the public in the form of higher gas prices.

IN short, you have totally misunderstood history and economics but what should I expect?

Next lets take a look at The Roaring 20's. The Great War was over, and America did not want much to do with the rest of the world. Mass production and mass consumption was the way of the day. Production processes were taken out of the hands of skilled craftsmen

Whats the matter, you getting tired of your own nonsense? Ill end with this- mass production is what we have today because IT IS SUPERIOR TO HAND CRAFTMANSHIP. IT IS CHEAPER AND FASTER AND OFFERS BETTER QUALITY CONTROL. Production was not 'taken' from skilled craftsmen; Rather they were put out of business by superior techniques.

I couldn't say this in a better way, nor do I have the time to....

2008-10-22T22:58:00.002-04:00

Would the Last Honest Reporter Please Turn On the Lights?
By Orson Scott Card

Editor's note: Orson Scott Card is a Democrat and a newspaper columnist, and in this opinion piece he takes on both while lamenting the current state of journalism.

An open letter to the local daily paper — almost every local daily paper in America:

I remember reading All the President's Men and thinking: That's journalism. You do what it takes to get the truth and you lay it before the public, because the public has a right to know.

This housing crisis didn't come out of nowhere. It was not a vague emanation of the evil Bush administration.

It was a direct result of the political decision, back in the late 1990s, to loosen the rules of lending so that home loans would be more accessible to poor people. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were authorized to approve risky loans.

What is a risky loan? It's a loan that the recipient is likely not to be able to repay.

The goal of this rule change was to help the poor — which especially would help members of minority groups. But how does it help these people to give them a loan that they can't repay? They get into a house, yes, but when they can't make the payments, they lose the house — along with their credit rating.

They end up worse off than before.

This was completely foreseeable and in fact many people did foresee it. One political party, in Congress and in the executive branch, tried repeatedly to tighten up the rules. The other party blocked every such attempt and tried to loosen them.

Furthermore, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae were making political contributions to the very members of Congress who were allowing them to make irresponsible loans. (Though why quasi-federal agencies were allowed to do so baffles me. It's as if the Pentagon were allowed to contribute to the political campaigns of Congressmen who support increasing their budget.)

Isn't there a story here? Doesn't journalism require that you who produce our daily paper tell the truth about who brought us to a position where the only way to keep confidence in our economy was a $700 billion bailout? Aren't you supposed to follow the money and see which politicians were benefiting personally from the deregulation of mortgage lending?

I have no doubt that if these facts had pointed to the Republican Party or to John McCain as the guilty parties, you would be treating it as a vast scandal. "Housing-gate," no doubt. Or "Fannie-gate."

Instead, it was Senator Christopher Dodd and Congressman Barney Frank, both Democrats, who denied that there were any problems, who refused Bush administration requests to set up a regulatory agency to watch over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and who were still pushing for these agencies to go even further in promoting sub-prime mortgage loans almost up to the minute they failed.

As Thomas Sowell points out in a TownHall.com essay entitled "Do Facts Matter?" ( http://snipurl.com/457townhall_com] ): "Alan Greenspan warned them four years ago. So did the Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers to the President. So did Bush's Secretary of the Treasury."

These are facts. This financial crisis was completely preventable. The party that blocked any attempt to prevent it was ... the Democratic Party. The party that tried to prevent it was ... the Republican Party.

Yet when Nancy Pelosi accused the Bush administration and Republican deregulation of causing the crisis, you in the press did not hold her to account for her lie. Instead, you criticized Republicans who took offense at this lie and refused to vote for the bailout!

What? It's not the liar, but the victims of the lie who are to blame?

Now let's follow the money ... right to the presidential candidate who is the number-two recipient of campaign contributions from Fannie Mae.

And after Freddie Raines, the CEO of Fannie Mae who made $90 million while running it into the ground, was fired for his incompetence, one presidential candidate's campaign actually consulted him for advice on housing.

If that presidential candidate had been John McCain, you would have called it a major scandal and we would be getting stories in your paper every day about how incompetent and corrupt he was.

But instead, that candidate was Barack Obama, and so you have buried this story, and when the McCain campaign dared to call Raines an "adviser" to the Obama campaign — because that campaign had sought his advice — you actually let Obama's people get away with accusing McCain of lying, merely because Raines wasn't listed as an official adviser to the Obama campaign.

You would never tolerate such weasely nit-picking from a Republican.

If you who produce our local daily paper actually had any principles, you would be pounding this story, because the prosperity of all Americans was put at risk by the foolish, short-sighted, politically selfish, and possibly corrupt actions of leading Democrats, including Obama.

If you who produce our local daily paper had any personal honor, you would find it unbearable to let the American people believe that somehow Republicans were to blame for this crisis.

There are precedents. Even though President Bush and his administration never said that Iraq sponsored or was linked to 9/11, you could not stand the fact that Americans had that misapprehension — so you pounded us with the fact that there was no such link. (Along the way, you created the false impression that Bush had lied to them and said that there was a connection.)

If you had any principles, then surely right now, when the American people are set to blame President Bush and John McCain for a crisis they tried to prevent, and are actually shifting to approve of Barack Obama because of a crisis he helped cause, you would be laboring at least as hard to correct that false impression.

Your job, as journalists, is to tell the truth. That's what you claim you do, when you accept people's money to buy or subscribe to your paper.

But right now, you are consenting to or actively promoting a big fat lie — that the housing crisis should somehow be blamed on Bush, McCain, and the Republicans. You have trained the American people to blame everything bad — even bad weather — on Bush, and they are responding as you have taught them to.

If you had any personal honor, each reporter and editor would be insisting on telling the truth — even if it hurts the election chances of your favorite candidate.

Because that's what honorable people do. Honest people tell the truth even when they don't like the probable consequences. That's what honesty means . That's how trust is earned.

Barack Obama is just another politician, and not a very wise one. He has revealed his ignorance and naivete time after time — and you have swept it under the rug, treated it as nothing.

Meanwhile, you have participated in the borking of Sarah Palin, reporting savage attacks on her for the pregnancy of her unmarried daughter — while you ignored the story of John Edwards's own adultery for many months.

So I ask you now: Do you have any standards at all? Do you even know what honesty means?

Is getting people to vote for Barack Obama so important that you will throw away everything that journalism is supposed to stand for?

You might want to remember the way the National Organization of Women threw away their integrity by supporting Bill Clinton despite his well-known pattern of sexual exploitation of powerless women. Who listens to NOW anymore? We know they stand for nothing; they have no principles.

That's where you are right now.

It's not too late. You know that if the situation were reversed, and the truth would damage McCain and help Obama, you would be moving heaven and earth to get the true story out there.

If you want to redeem your honor, you will swallow hard and make a list of all the stories you would print if it were McCain who had been getting money from Fannie Mae, McCain whose campaign had consulted with its discredited former CEO, McCain who had voted against tightening its lending practices.

Then you will print them, even though every one of those true stories will point the finger of blame at the reckless Democratic Party, which put our nation's prosperity at risk so they could feel good about helping the poor, and lay a fair share of the blame at Obama's door.

You will also tell the truth about John McCain: that he tried, as a Senator, to do what it took to prevent this crisis. You will tell the truth about President Bush: that his administration tried more than once to get Congress to regulate lending in a responsible way.

This was a Congress-caused crisis, beginning during the Clinton administration, with Democrats leading the way into the crisis and blocking every effort to get out of it in a timely fashion.

If you at our local daily newspaper continue to let Americans believe — and vote as if — President Bush and the Republicans caused the crisis, then you are joining in that lie.

If you do not tell the truth about the Democrats — including Barack Obama — and do so with the same energy you would use if the miscreants were Republicans — then you are not journalists by any standard.

You're just the public relations machine of the Democratic Party, and it's time you were all fired and real journalists brought in, so that we can actually have a news paper in our city.

Obama's Policies: The Math Just Doesn't Work

2008-10-16T19:47:00.003-04:00

by TLA

Barack Obama's color doesnt mean a damn thing to me. Nor would I care if he was a transexual mexican buddhist with a taste for young boys.

No, opposition to Obama from many Americans lies directly in the fact that the man's foreign and domestic policy proposals are illogical and counterproductive.

For example, Obama's tax cut 'for 95% of Americans' makes no logical sense when seen in light of his proposals to have the government fund health insurance for the uninsured. We can barely afford the medicare and medicaid system we have now, and the current system only covers the destitute and the aged. All government projections indicate that by 2040 at the latest (and probably much sooner than that) our nation will go bankrupt by funding medicare and medicaid alone. Even if we cut education and military funding to $0, we still wouldn't be able to afford medicare and medicaid.

Why? Because our largest generation- the baby boomers- are retiring en masse and there are not enough tax payers to support all of them.

So how can Obama cut taxes and increase the government's health care payroll? Very simply- he can't. He can, however, create a very expensive mess that still won't cover most Americans...

Obama knows as well as anyone that the money saved by an immediate and total pullout of Iraq and Afghanistan would still not be enough to fund expanded health care. Raised taxes on those making over $250,000 would make even less of dent in the staggering cost, which will be many multiples bigger than the much maligned $700 billion bank bailout.

The fact that Obama has proposed such a ludicrous policy exposes him as a liar and a fraud. The fact that no one in the media has asked him to explain this logical pretzel is criminal.

If Obama was serious about helping uninsured Americans, he would have to start on two main fronts: making insurance less expensive and making medical care less expensive. In order to make insurance less expensive, one must eventually address the gargantuan added cost of medical malpractice lawsuits. We all know, however, that the day liberal Democrats come out in favor of capping jury verdicts will be a cold day in hell indeed. Oh- by the way the American Bar Association is one of the top contributors to the Democratic party.

Making medical care less expensive is a bit more complicated. Of course capping lawsuits would help this too, however I would love to hear even one politician run on a platform that TV advertising for prescription medication should be banned. God knows how much money these pharma companies waste on commerical airtime, but we all know that pharma dollars line the pockets of Democrat and Republican alike.

Of course medical care would be even less expensive if hospitals did not have to provide free care and treatment to every illegal immigrant that washes ashore. That, of course, is another issue that will never be addressed by Obama.

Barack Obama may be half black and he may be 'The One' according to Oprah, but he's not a magician and he can't make gold from goose shit. Let him come up with a plan that makes logical sense and is not impossible, and possibly he can win over many of the people who are so skeptical of him. Otherwise, he's just another grandstanding demagogue thats all smoke and mirrors.

Bradley Effect: Wingnut Wet Dream

2008-10-12T22:53:00.002-04:00

By Elmo

Eat shit and die you Tory ass gutter-slime motherfuckers. Of all the reasons for why I hate you, my favorite, has got to be your blind trust in that enough people will hate minorities just enough for you to keep racial prejudice strong in America...forever. Thanks for playing, but you lose.

As if you ever had a chance at winning. Fools. You were doomed before your Tory ass grand-pappy shat his first shit. A tide rolls motherfucker and it never stops. It just slides back, gathers steam, and smacks your ass again.

So, now your petty, ignorant asses can't hold up to the erosion, and all you've got left is your whining and crying and dieing. Must suck to be you...but it sure is a site watching you fall. LOL! You wont ever find my ass feeling sorry for you. Traitors.

Even if your wet dream comes true, and many vote opposite of their spoken word, the next time around, you'll get smacked harder. And if needed, the next time, even harder again. But there will be an end, Tory...there will be an end to you.

I can see you dreaming, smirking away in your sleep late on November 4th, self assured in your Bradley effect blanket. You feel all snugly and safe in that place. But then, there comes an annoying sound that ruins your dream. It is a ringing of sorts and you don't feel so snugly anymore. Fuck make it stop! Then you wake up November 5th, and realize, that bell is still ringing in your head...and it tolls for you.

NEED I SAY MORE?

2008-10-10T09:18:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the light week. We'll be back.

'Obama Youth' Video Stricken From Most You Tube Links

2008-10-01T08:11:00.003-04:00

WATCH THIS DISTURBING PIECE OF PROPAGANDA NOW BEFORE ITS DROPPED DOWN THE MEMORY HOLE COMPLETELY

Kids like to sing and play music about political figures....

TDL's SALUTE to FAIL

2008-09-30T09:00:00.001-04:00

WTFAIL???

WAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

THANKS CONGRESS.....

assholes.....

TDL Economics: Dem's the breaks ( Ha how droll )

2008-09-29T12:53:00.009-04:00

- AC #1

This was just a lazy link fest, hell like most blogs, to fill time until I finish my magnum opus regarding Neo, um I mean Barak Obama. I vaguely glanced over this video when it was making the rounds last week;

Copyright friendly version

Actual version

It's well done, explains the crisis in a fair way, and has some great songs. This version has a mere 232 hits as of the writing of this post, now I thought that was a little light considering it was on Hot Air and the rest of'em. I found the link to the version that had well over 800,000 views, now that's more like it, except it was down due to a copyright claim by Time Warner .

And now its time for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change...

...Which US politician has Time Warner donated the most money to in the entire government?

Yup.

In their own words Dem House members on the impending economic crisis circa 2004

via Hot Air

Don't know what ACORN is? You should, after all they think you're a rich white cracker who be holding the black man down, oh and you fund them too.

via New York Post

Gee who do you think was #2 in money received from Fannie Mae, and Freddie Mac? Here's a hint; its not John McCain. Also of interest, well to me not the vast majority of actual MSM news organizations, corrupt former head of Fannie Mae Franklin Raines guess which campaign he is helping with economic strategy, don't think you need a hint on that one.

TDL on the ECONOMY: THE CREDIT CRISIS

2008-09-24T09:00:00.002-04:00

***UPDATE 9/25***
Opposition to Paulson's bailout plan is sheer idiocy and if the Republicans don't support it, then a pox on thier house. $700 billion is pocket change compared to what we'll lose if we go into a deep recession or even a depression. I can not overstate the danger we are in. Millions could lose everything. I have come to the end of my rope with the corrupt and super-political Republican party... approve the deal or be responsible for an economic disaster that you will never be able to disown.
-TLA
*****************

So whats up with this whole credit crisis thingy? Why do we need a $700 billion bailout? What the fuck happened? Why is Elmo a retard?

I bet you've been asking the very same questions.

Being the Wile E. Coyote-esque genius that I am, allow me to drop some knowledge on yo' ignint asses. Its time you all know exactly what the subprime crisis is and how we got to this point without all of the economic jargon and big-assed words...

Y'all pay tention now, ya heah?

The year is 2004. Jeb is a 28 year old man from Atlanta, Georgia. Jeb wants to buy a $450,000 McMansion in the brand new Prawnville suburban development on the outskirts of Atlanta, but he doesn't have enough money to do so. Jeb has been making $45,000 per year at an I.T. company where he has worked for the past six months and his decision making abilies have always been questionable (Jeb is voting for Obama this year).

When he was 22, Jeb leased a BMW on his credit card even though he worked as a pizza delivery boy. It made him look like 'a baller', though, so Jeb didn't think twice about the cost. Needless to say, in two months' time Jeb wasn't able to pay his credit card bill and the BMW was repoed. Since that point, Jeb's credit has been in the shitter. Jeb's credit score is 10 & 1/2.

Regardless, Jeb believes that he is entitled to live in a big, fancy McMansion so he decides to go down to his local mortgage broker to try to get a mortgage. Jeb has saved up about $1700 in his bank account, which he believes is a sufficient down payment for a $450,000 house.

Jimmy is Jeb's mortgage broker. Jeb plops $1700 in cash on Jimmy's table and says "Git me er mortgage, pleeze". Jimmy advises Jeb that while he can't get him a 30 year fixed rate mortgage due to his credit sdcore of 10 & 1/2, there's this "loan product that's perfect" for him called an Adjustable Rate Mortgage (ARM). Jimmy says that an ARM is "awesome" because the interest rate is currently only 3%, whereas a 30 year fixed rate is at 5.7%. "Fixed rate mortgages" says Jimmy "are for old timers and suckers because ARM rates are soooo low. Besides, if the interest rates go up you can just give me a call and we'll refinance. Piece 'o cake. And the best thing of all- no down payment is required!"

"Awesome!!!" says Jeb. "Where do I sign?". Being impulsive and fiscally irresponsible by nature, Jeb never really stops to think about what would happen if the interest rates go up and he suddenly has to pay 6% or 7% interest. Jimmy, on the other hand, doesn't give a fuck. He's not lending out his own money, he's only a mortgage broker. Besides, Jimmy gets a hefty commission each time he gets another ARM signed up.

After Jeb leaves Jimmy's office, Jimmy calls his pal Bill the banker. Bill works at the mortgage department of the 1st Regional Bank of Georgia. "Bill," Jimmy says, "I've got another one for you. The loan is for $450,000- adjustable rate. Our guy has no work history, his credit is terrible, he has no major assets, and put down no down payment. Is that okay?"

"Another subprime? Sure!" exclaims Bill. You see, a 'subprime mortagage' is a mortgage given out to people who are a high credit risk, like Jeb. "Sign him right up, Jimmy, I'll have the money to you by closing."

So is Bill totally nuts or just plain stupid? Actually, he's neither. You see, Bill has no intention of collecting a single mortgage payment from Jeb. In fact, as soon a Jeb goes to closing, Jeb's mortage is placed into a vast pool along with thousands of other subprime mortgages given out by the 1st Regional Bank of Georgia. This vast pool is then divided up into shares. Each one of these shares is called a 'mortgage backed security' that can be bought and sold like stocks or bonds.

Now that Bill has thrown Jeb's mortgage into a pool that has been divided into thousands of shares, he has to find buyers for these shares... but he doesn't have to wait long. The phone rings- its Ira the investment banker from Lehman Brothers in New York City!

"Bill, Its Ira. Do you have any mortgage shares for me to buy? We just can't get enough of them! We love mortgage shares because real estate is such a safe investment. I mean, even if the home buyers default on their mortgages, the home itself is great collateral. Real estate never goes down in value, so how can we lose?? It's a win-win!"

"Well Ira," says Bill "I do happen to have mortgage shares for you, but they're subprime shares. They're riskier than other types of shares. But don't fear- we called our friends over at AIG this morning and for a small percentage they've agreed to insure the shares against loss! Isn't that great?"

"Wow!" exclaims Ira, "That's awesome! I'll buy all of the mortgage shares you have. Then, I'll re-sell some of the mortgage shares to investors around the world, and I'll hold on to the subprime shares myself because they pay such a high interest rate. What a cash cow! Bill- its great doing business with you, my friend. The next time I talk to you I hope you have even more mortgage shares for me to buy".

"I sure will, Ira" says Bill. "I'll lend money to anything that breathes and shits so long as you keep buying the loans from me!"

Fast forward to 2007. Back in suburban Atlanta, the developments of Pwntown and WestFAIL have sprung up next to Prawnville, chock full of McMansions. So many McManisons, in fact, that there aren't enough people to buy all of them.

Things for Jeb aren't so wonderful. His ARM rates have risen modestly, and since Jeb only makes $48,000 per year (he got a raise) and just leased another BMW, any little adjustment in his mortage rates put him in danger of running out of money. In a pinch, Jeb calls Jimmy the mortgage broker.

"Jimmy, I wanna re-fin-ance to er fixed rate mortgage" says Jeb.

"Um, yeeeah" says Jimmy "Ya see, the thing is you're a bad credit risk so I can't re-finance ya right now, mmmkay?"

"But what 'bout mah house" says Jeb, "Can't yer use that as co-lateral?"

"Yeah, about that house" responds Jimmy, "ya see its kinda not worth what you paid for it because they've built so many other McMansions around here. We can't even sell the ones we have on the market now. I just can't get a bank to refinance someone like you with depreciating assets and bad credit, mmmkay"

"But... wuh 'bout mah house? Mah Bee Em Dubyah?!?! You said I could re-finance as soon as the rates went up!!"

"Well I'm sorry, guy. I just can't help you out, But who ever said life was fair? Have a good day."

Jeb is now stuck. He doesn't have enough money to pay his mortgage and no one will refinance him because his credit sucks and his house is worth nearly $100,000 less than what he paid for it.

Jeb is not alone, either. In 2006 and 2007, a large percentage of subprime loans begin to default. All of a sudden, Ira and his buddies in New York are holding millions of morgage shares that are worth a whole lot less than what was paid for them. Some, in fact, are worthless. And on top of this, the collateral behind the shares has decreased greatly in value. To make matters worse, forclosure is not even a viable option due the costs that would have to be incurred by forclosing on thousands of people like Jeb and taking possession of and maintaining their houses.

In any case, between snorting lines of coke and getting handjobs at massage parlors, Ira gets a phone call from Harry in the Hamptons, who is a big-time investor in the Lehman Brothers' hedge fund.

"WHAT THE FUCK, IRA? I'M GONNA RING YOUR FUCKING PENCIL NECK!" screams an irate Harry.

"Oh, hi Harry. H-how can I help you?" meekly replies Ira, trying to calm his client.

"OH HI???? I GOT MY STATEMENT TODAY- HOW THE FUCK DID I LOSE $135 MILLION THIS QUARTER!?!?!"

"Well, you see, we invested a bunch of money in mortgage shares and they're not doing so well right now..... but the market goes up and down....and they'll come back I'm sure..."

"YOU'RE SURE??? WHAT THE FUCK?!? YOU TOLD ME THEY WERE SAFE INVESTMENTS!! YOU TOLD ME THEY HAD THE BEST INVESTMENT RATING AND THEY WERE INSURED!"

"Y-yeah, don't worry. I'm gonna call AIG right after I get off the blackberry with you and ask for the insurance money".

"YOU FUCKING BETTER! IN THE MEAN TIME, I'M PULLING WHATS LEFT OF MY MONEY FROM LEHMAN. YOU GUYS SUCK BALLS!".

As people like Harry in the Hamptons pull their money from Lehman, investor confidence crashes and small investors begin to sell their shares of Lehman Brothers. The further down the stock goes, the more people sell in a panic. All of a sudden, everyone is selling and Lehman is running out of cash.

Desperate, Ira calls AIG.

"Hello, is this AIG? I'd like my insurance money for my subprime mortgage shares."

"Hi, this is AIG. Look guy, we have a little issue here. Check it- you're like the millionth person that called today asking for an insurance payout n' shit. Some jerk from Goldman Sachs just asked me for cash like 2 minutes ago over this subprime stuff. Thing is, I just don't know if we can pay you all, cause we never anticpated all of you asking for insurance payouts at the same time."

"What the fuck? I'm screwed! If I can't calm down the investors in Lehman, we're gonna go bankrupt! What can I do?"

"Dunno, brah. You're pretty fucked but so are we. I heard the government is gonna take us over because we've run out of money. Why don't you call another bank like Citibank and ask for a loan?"

Despondent, Ira calls Citibank and asks for a loan.

"Hello, Citibank? This is Ira from Lehman. We need some cash because everyone is bailing on us! Give me a couple of billion, please."

"Hey there, Ira" says Carl from Citibank, "We'd love to help you but we just can't do it. I mean, my bosses have told me not to lend money to anyone since we lost all that money on mortgage shares not to mention the money we lent to other investment banks that we ended up losing when they went under. Besides, since your share prices have dropped and you've lost all your money, your credit rating has been downgraded to junk bond status. In other words, You have a terrible credit rating and collateral that is depreciating in value. I'm afraid we cant give you a loan, you're just too much of a risk. Sorry, guy."

The next day, Lehman Brothers goes bankrupt and Ira retires to San Tropez. Ira had sold his stock in Lehman a few months ago and ended up quite rich. He's currently enjoying his new life on the Cote D'Azure. Jeb, meanwhile, is enjoying his new life at his momma's house eating spoonfulls of cheeze wiz.

After Lehman's bankruptcy, panicked investors begin to sell more and more shares in all the other financial companies. As the selling gathers momentum, it becomes indiscriminate. Suddenly, the federal government realizes that if it doesn't step in to calm the markets, the entire banking system faces total collapse. With no more loans and no more credit, the entire U.S. and World economy face not just recession but full-blown depression.

So to make a long story short, the government requested $700 billion to buy all of those subprime mortgage shares from the banks and other shareholders, so that investors can regain confidence in the banking system to prevent a collapse. The money is not definately a total loss because the houses which are the collateral behind the subprime shares do have some value to them. Once the real estate market turns around, its quite plausible the government could even make money. Right now, however, things look pretty grim and the cost to the U.S. taxpayer colud reach $1 trillion.

So who's to blame?

Well if my parable has taught you anything, its just not that simple. The blame is so large that it encompasses everyone, not just greedy Wall Street 'fat cats' like Ira. The Greenspan Fed is to blame for keeping interest rates unnaturally low, thus enticing people who don't belong buying houses into buying houses. The public (Jeb) is to blame for buying above their means, planning poorly for the future, and spending money wastefully. The mortgage industry (Jimmy and Bill) are to blame for lending money irresponsibly to people they knew were terrible credit risks. Wall Street (Ira) was to blame for buying mortage backed securities under the idiotic premise that they would never lose value, thus enticing the mortgage industry to lend without standards. Insurers like AIG are to blame for underwriting mortgage backed securities that they knew they couldn't pay for, and Credit agencies are at fault for not investigating the viability to the mortgage backed security shares before issuing them high credit ratings. Finally, government is to blame for failing to properly monitor lending standards.

This post is by no means a complete account of what happened, just a condensed and simplified version for public consumption. I hope that with a little understanding of the issue, you can now identify the spin as it comes from both the Republicans and Democrats, and make a more informed decision as a voter in November.

AP: It's racist to think blacks are responsible for their own problems

2008-09-21T10:09:00.004-04:00

This pearl of wizdom comes from this utterly predictable and offensive AP article of 9/20/08:

"Deep-seated racial misgivings could cost Barack Obama the White House if the election is close, according to an AP-Yahoo News poll that found one-third of white Democrats harbor negative views toward blacks — many calling them 'lazy,' 'violent' or responsible for their own troubles."

Notice how they mush together clearly racist viewpoints with a quite reasonable one. The AP's witch hunt continues:

"The poll sought to measure latent prejudices among whites by asking about factors contributing to the state of black America. One finding: More than a quarter of white Democrats agree that 'if blacks would only try harder, they could be just as well off as whites.'"

The blasphemy!

You know, this article really chafes my ass. Is it racist to think that black people can and should help themselves?

Let me pose this question: Whats more racist- the beleif that blacks are incapable of success without big brother government doling out government cheese, or the beleif that if they work hard and keep on the straight and narrow, they are capable of the same success as everyone else?

I am firmly convinced that the vast majority of blacks' problems in America are of their own creation, and they will never get ahead unless they first start to help themselves. Consider this: Asians and Indian-Americans have a higher average per capita income than Whites. I beg someone to make the argument that they received the benefits of slavery or didn't encounter prejudice. Are we to believe that White prejudice has the power to utterly smash the black community for 100 years yet it has no impact on Asian and Indian immigrants that just came here from a foreign land with a totally alien culture 10 to 20 years ago??

Additionally, black immigrants from the West Indies have a higher per capita income than American blacks. How is this to be explained?

My theory: West Indian immigrants, although historically exposed to the same (if not worse) injustices of slavery and colonial exploitation, are more sucessful because they had to learn to survive without a strong central government passing out free cash and easy excuses.

They also have much stronger family structures than American blacks. Around three quarters of American black children are born out of wedlock. If you want to tell me that this dosen't have an impact on the poverty and inability of American blacks to get ahead, then go ahead. Is it also a coincidence that Asians and Indians are noted for their strong family structures and stronger value system?

Its pretty clear that the basis for success in America (and indeed anywhere) is a strong family background that teaches hard work, the value of education, humility, and the ability to accept responsibilty rather than make excuses for failure. Unfortunately, rather than these values transfusing into black America, it seems black America's perverted and destructive values are polluting the larger American mainstream culture. Pop culture (i.e. MTV, music, movies, and sports) has infected the West at large with ideas that have ravaged black America for more than a century. These include an aversion to marriage, shallow conspicuous consumption, narcissism, a lack of respect for education, selfishness, lack of courtesy and manners, and excuse making.

In short, I have every confidence that its not the color of your skin that determines whether you have what it takes to get ahead. Its all in the values that you were brought up with, and there's no amount of government intervention that can change this simple truth. Blacks are the cause of their own problems, and its high time for them to step up and make changes in their own house instead of constantly pointing the finger at White America. After all, what good has finger pointing and excuse making done for them?

And to think- I wasn't even going to bring up the utter hypocracy of the AP bemoaning white racism in the presdiential race when over 95% of blacks are voting for Obama....

Faith of the Abomination: Politics in the Pulpit

2008-09-18T16:55:00.002-04:00

by our resident unhinged socialist, Elmo.

Karl Rove learned how to use the right-wing Evangelicals to such an extent it constitutes abuse. But the Evangelicals, they are willing participants, you see, they are using Karl Rove, too. The Evangelicals know they are disrespected and mocked by the Republicans when their backs are turned. They just don't care. It's just an understood sacrifice of pride needed to obtain their ultimate goal...controlling Washington.

They are so hellbent on controlling our Government that Evangelicals will betray the very values they claim to live by. They will lie, they will cheat and they will steal to move closer, inches at a time, to accomplish what Evangelicals call "Enlarging our Territory."Well, those inches have become miles in the Evangelical's quest to turn America into a theocratic state. They have pushed the boundaries of church and state to such an extent that what used to be unacceptable is now disregarded as petty and unmoving. Just the way they want it.

In their documentary, "Faith of the Abomination," Ceil and Han get to watch this process play out up front and personal. David Barton is the head of an organization called Wallbuilders. Aptly named, Wallbuilders stated mission is to turn America into a theocratic state. David Barton let Karl Rove lead him to the Promise Land and was hired by the RNC(Republican National Committee) as a consultant in 2006. He travels the country teaching right-wing Evangelical preachers how to get around IRS laws. At least, that's what he gets them to believe.

In reality, they are breaking the law. In a 1996 critique of Barton's documentary, "America's Godly Heritage," the Baptist Joint Committee on Public Affairs said of Barton: "His presentation has just enough ring of truth to make him credible to many people. It is, however, laced with exaggerations, half-truths, and misstatements of fact."During the project, "Faith of the Abomination," David Barton showed up one Sunday at Victory Christian Center Austin, thus became a big part of the documentary. Ceil and Han have agreed to let me show you a clip staring David Barton himself, enjoy...

We hope to have "Faith of the Abomination" out to the masses soon. In the meantime, if you can, please visit their PayPal account and do all you can to help. Every little bit counts. Thanks again to Ceil and Han for letting me use the "Politics in the Pulpit" clip.

TDL OP-ED: "American Sense"

2008-09-11T23:56:00.001-04:00

This rant is brought to you by our crazed left-wing pet, Elmo. In honor of 9/11, TLA writes the counter points.

When you hear "American Sense" I bet you don't get all warm and fuzzy inside, like you should. Doesn't that piss you off?

Nope. I never heard the term "American Sense" before.

Well, good. Because you're an idiot. You, me, the lot of us.

Well at least you're partially correct for once.

Every individual in this country has either sold, or let be taken from them the very spark that makes us American. How much sense does that make? You've sold your morals for security, your privacy for piece of mind, and your religion for dominance. All you've got left is your pride. And you put that up for sale for plain 'ol greed.

And by this paragraph I suppose you are referring to the PATRIOT Act and the alleged 'torture' of terrorists at Guantanimo? I'll discuss that later. To be honest, I really have no idea what you mean when you say we've sold our "pride" for "plain old greed".

How did we get so childish? With the vast history and experiences of this county, how in the hell did we all become brats? Well, somewhere along the way we were all made to believe freedom was easy, and sacrifice was evil. We were lead to hate the one thing our founding fathers gave specifically to us, the people. Our government.

I hate to nitpick, but America hardly has a 'vast history'. Our history is a fart in the wind compared to that of most countries on Earth. It has its disadvantages, but it also means we don't have many ancient blood feuds (ergo the Greeks and the Turks, or the Catholics and Protestants Northern Ireland ).

And I don't hate our government. I just want it to be smaller and to stay out of my decision making process so long as I'm not trying to blow people up in the name of Allah.

No longer do we think of the government as of the people, by the people, or for the people. We place it in categories with our enemies.

Spoken like a true liberal. Bravo, old chap.

Meanwhile, those who stand to gain the most from our "youthful exuberance" take our morals and pretend to give us security; take our privacy and give us false hopes; and take our religions to secure their own dominance. In do time it shall be "our" government no longer, and truly become "the" government. The only way to stop it is to fight.

Okay, maybe you ought to pick up a history book and read about what Abraham Lincoln did during the Civil War. Here's a primer: he suspended habeas corpus and imprisoned northern supporters of the confederacy without trial. They were held until the war was over. End result: The United States exists as a nation even today!

My point? In times of war, the government has a long history of doing what it needs to do, even if these things would be considered unconstitutional under normal circumstances. And though you guys on the left like to hem and haw about "pretend security", I haven't seen a terror attack here in seven years. Sounds a lot like "real security" to me. Further, my privacy hasn't been violated. Maybe that's because I'm not planning to blow up thousands of Americans for the sake my bloodthirsty god.

I say let the government do what it has to to stop Islamic sociopaths. I'm more worried about them than I am Bush listening in on my cell phone convos.

Ben Franklyn understood this, as did all Patriots. From the educated the illiterate, from the plantation owner to the slave. All sought freedom. Now we sell it on the cheap. Proud of yourself? Will you be the coward watching from afar, or will you fight? The battles may be many, they may be few, but the Revolution has to be fought. For the sake of our very souls. That is, if we can somehow get our spark back...

I think if Franklyn [sic] were alive today, he would agree with the Patriots on one key matter: It's not going to be so easy without Brady.

Regardless, I think it's sad that you think the greatest thing the founding fathers bequeathed to us was a big, fat government. That might be the way a liberal sees the world, but I would like to think the framers of our nation left us with a few bigger things than just some bureaucracy. Namely, these things are inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happieness (i.e. property and goods). We were also left with the ideal that all men are created equally.

In any case, the left wing- with its policies of abortion, appeasement, nanny statism, wealth redistribution, and racial quotas- has run contrary to each of the central principles this nation was founded upon.

So good luck with your "Revolution". Mine happened in 1776.

Markos Moutsalutus : The TDL Interview

2008-09-07T11:59:00.000-04:00

By: A.C #1

Few voices in the internet age have so grandly projected themselves onto the
national conscienceness the way "daily kos" founder Markos Moostatlutuas's
has. A supine intellect Moosetalustus has pioneered the notion of a community
of equals speaking plainly, creatively, sometimes ribaldry of the times in which
we live, and of how the Jew is responsible for all the wars in the world.
Recently Mr. Mutsalitus gave TDL an exclusive interview that focused on the
personal, as well as the political.

Author's note:

Man I owe you guys for this one.

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HAH HA HAHHHHHH

2008-09-04T17:49:00.004-04:00

Palin??? The liberals are terrified of Sarah Palin????

Lololololol..... it just doesn't get any better than that!

Boy, doesn't is suck when your own victimhood politics come back to bite you in the arse? McCain- knowing the weak kneed liberal response to any victim group- nominates a young republican woman and they just don't know how to hit her without looking like the exact 'intolerant' 'sexist' pigs they accuse conservatives of being...

Its really grand! Its just so satisfying watching liberals and the mainstream media hang themselves with their own rope. At this point, the only thing I regret is that Palin isn't a black transgendered bisexual.

And watch now.... watch the pure, unfiltered hate that is spewed at this woman and her family by the left and its media buddies. The best part? Each new eruption of hate will bring McCain closer and closer to the White House as average Americans are turned off by the attacks.

And far from taking the 'experience' argument from McCain's arsenal, to the contrary I believe picking Palin highlights Obama's flaws. As the media outlets look to 'vet' (i.e. attack) Palin regarding her lack of experience, ordinary Americans will not miss the fact that she's about as inexperienced as Obama. Thus, each attack about experience with have a corresponding impact on Obama. All the tough questions that were never asked to Obama by the media will be refracted back to him through Palin.

MEDIA: "is Palin experienced enough to be a 'heartbeat away' from the presidency?"

JOE AVERAGE VOTER: "But wait a minute... Palin has no less experience than Obama, and he'll be less than a 'heartbeat away' from the presidency if he wins."

Its such a simple argument that it won't be lost on even the dumbest Kostard on earth. Its gonna force everyone to scrutinize Obama's experience. What a truly impressive move picking Palin as VP. I didn't think Maverick had it in him.

And now, for comic relief, here's B.H.O. singing the praises of the now convicted felon mayor of DEE-troyt, Kwame Kilpatrick:

Lol, its just.....too....sweeeeetttttt......

H/t Moonbattery for the clip.

OMG!!! PALIN'S DAUGHTER IS PREGGERS!!!

2008-09-03T19:21:00.003-04:00

Really, who gives a fuck? Anyone else get the feeling that the media are like a bunch of adolescent 12-year-olds..... totally fixated on anything having to do with sex? That is- unless it has to do with John Edwards or any other politician of their agenda.....

Anyway, I tuned to ABC News this evening (yeah, I know- why do I want to make myself want to vomit?) and heard some wonderful questioning in an interview with McCain. The first four questions were "is Palin experienced enough to run the nation?" phrased in slightly different ways.

Am I living in a fucking nightmare? Is this all real??? Has the world gone completely fucking mad?????

Do I really need to point to the fact that the presidential candidate of the Democrats has never run anything in his life??? Do I need to bring up Obama's laughable logical pretzel that he has more experience than Palin because he has run a campaign for president???? Its rich, isn't it- "I'm qualified to be president because I'm running for president". Lolololol. Sigh.

I think maybe I'm losing it or maybe I'm out of touch.

We have one candidate who decided to serve his country in a time of war, was captured and beaten and tortured. When offered release, he refused to leave his fellow P.O.W.s. He was beaten and tortured again. After the war, he commanded a Navy squadron. He was then a liaison officer to the congress. He was elected to congress and then spent 30 years in the Senate.

The other candidate is a former cokehead who is an associate of a man that tried to blow up the capitol. He attended a church run by a racist whacko that has openly damned America. He has 'served' a little more than three years in the Senate and has no executive experience. He's good at reading speeches off a teleprompter.

IS THERE MUCH OF A DECISION HERE FOR ANY RATIONAL HUMAN BEING OF AT LEAST AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE? How does one get by in a world gone mad?

TDL OPINION: Homelssness in NYC

2008-08-30T20:05:00.011-04:00

By: A.C the One

Unlike you I deal with the homeless on a nearly daily basis. These dealings have instilled within me a knowledge of the homeless and homelessness that your average person is not privy to, and thusly I can consider myself to be somewhat of an expert on these "roofless individuals" as myself and fellow employees refer to them.

Death to the Homeless Pt.1 of many many many

I mother-fucking hate the goddamn shit stinking bastards, every fucking last one of the "Crystal Palace Vodka" drinking two leg walkin' bags of horse crap. Drown'em, nuke'em, light'em on fire (just make sure the wind is blowing away from you if this option is chosen) or force them to fight in Gladiatorial combat for the enjoyment of the wealthy, I don't fucking care, but I promise if you give me a:

baseball bat
3 inch long nails
barb wire
lighter fluid
a monthly quota

I will take the baseball bat, drive the nails through it, wrap it in the barb wire,
set it on fire and figure out what to do with the other 29 days in the month.

"This is the City's property, not private property!!!"

"Sir you can't loiter on the City's property either"

"They tell us to move over here, you done tells us to move over there, where's
we suppossed to go?"

"Sir just move a long"

"You can't give me a summons just fo' standing in City property"

"You want me to give you a fucking summons right now?"

"This don't goes to criminal court, this don't goes to criminal court"

"This isn't a fucking negotiation, move"

"Where's I suppossessed to go? Is here good? (stands in street)

"I don't give a fuck where you go, but that works for me"

etc., ad nauseum

How can you be so cruel, these are people who are down on there luck?

Have you ever seen a fat woman piss herself as she rocked back and forth trying to put her shoe on, while simultaneously pulling down her sweatpants? (Oh the sad irony)

Well then shut the fuck up.

In truth I'm just being honest, because in reality everyone hates the roofless, there is good news on the front for me as DHS seems ready to fulfill its promise to empty the main intake shelter in Manhattan by next spring. Gee I wonder what the residents of Bedford think about the prospect of more homeless in their neighborhood, man you know you suck when even Brooklyn crackheads won't put up with you.

~~The straight fact is that the homeless should be rounded up and taken from the view of the average citizen~~

Scratch that. The fact is I get an immense joy when ultra dignified, Madison avenue leeches have to walk around a roofless individual who is laying face down in a pile of vomit covered shit.....or maybe it was just Indian food.

I love seeing your average, well heeled, Ivy League, Obama booster dive bomb away from the Franciscan Friars on 31st as they are dolling out free food to the roofless, it warms my heart to see true hypocrisy in action.

Gee, thanks Hussain....

2008-08-29T11:12:00.004-04:00

for spelling out "exactly what that change would mean" if you're elected.

Ummmm..... okay, so what is 'change'?

"John McCain has voted with George Bush 90 percent of the time,"; "I'm not ready to take a 10 percent chance on change."

Oh, so 'change' means simply that you would vote against for anything Bush would vote for? That's a well thought out policy, really. By the way, how's that opposition to the troop surge workin' out for 'ya?

Even the cocksuckers at the A.P. couldnt ignore the obvious. This excerpt is from their 8/28/08 article:

Obama said it's time 'to protect Social Security for future generations.' But he didn't mention his main proposal, which is to add a new Social Security payroll tax to incomes above $250,000 a year. He said he would 'cut taxes for 95 percent of all working families,' but did not say how.

Hmmmmm... maybe because with his liberal spending programs its FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE????

He briefly mentioned abortion, gun rights, gay rights and other hot-button issues without delving into their sticky details. 'Passions fly on immigration,' Obama said, 'but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers.'

So which is it, Hussain? Are you gonna stop illegal immigration or are you going to allow amnesty? I think we all know what the real answer is, but of course Hussain didn't want to scare off all the naieve white 'folk he's lying to so he came out on both sides of the issue.

No matter how you sugar coat this donkey eared jackass, Hussain Obama is a left wing demagogue to the core. I truly fear for our future if this racist socialist traitor becomes our president.

THE NON-IMAGINARY INCONVIENIENT TRUTH

2008-08-25T12:33:00.000-04:00

Allow me to continue to preach to the masses (i.e. the two people that actually read this blog)-

Vote Obama, everyone! His bloated liberal spending programs and 'green' hamstringing of our economy will certainly make the situation much better....

Cue media overreaction in 5.....4......3.....2.....1....

2008-08-19T14:07:00.002-04:00

So a few fucking haji towelheads blew themselves up outside a U.S. base in Afghanistan....

Never mind that they were shot to pieces and will slink back into the hills for another 6 months or so. My question is how long will it take for the assclown Western media to start comparing todays miniscule, gnat bite attacks to the Tet Offensive?

You know its gonna happen.... just give the media some time. That is, unless the Obamessiah reveals his running mate tonight after he climbs down from mount Sinai. Then they'll forget about Tet II.

ALL HAIL THE OBAMESSIAH!

Hat Tip (for the hilarious video clip): TNOYF

TDL TALKS STRATEGY: THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE GEORGIA CONFLICT

2008-08-15T08:01:00.000-04:00

Now this hilarious tidbit from the Russian press.

Yep- the war in Georgia was created to keep Barack Obama from the White House. Only the Russians could come up with something so idiotic.....

Uhhhhh...... my bad

Guess the Russians read the San Francisco Chronicle, huh. Ain't the Internet the damndest thang?

In actuality, though, we can learn a lot from Russia's parroting of the Western left. The above example makes it clear as day that the Russians have spotted the West's major vulnerability and have begun exploiting it. Russia is letting the Western left do its dirty work; it knows that the West's hand-wringing, self-hating alter ego will defeat Western power all by itself if given enough time. All the Russians need to do is give it a little push. Float a nutty conspiracy theory or two out there and the left will be more than happy to clear the way for Russia to butcher and brutalize Western allies at will.

Russia, however, should be the least of our concerns. Never think for one moment that the brutal, scheming junta that runs the growing juggernaut of China is not devoting its full attention to the happenings in Georgia.

It has always been my suspicion that the Chinese fascists will seek to conquer Taiwan by force, and it has further been my suspicion that such would not happen until after the Bejing olympic games. Well looking at my calendar, the games are over in a week or so (thank god- I hate the fucking olympics. How tedious). Now I don't believe China will attack next month or even next year, but the end of the games certainly removes the largest constraint on Chinese aggression.

Look to the invasion of Taiwan if Chinese economic growth slows significantly. The only thing keeping that nation on the up-and-up, with its corruption, inequities, and total government opacity is the wealth that is pouring into the hands of the average citizen. If that spigot turns off, the only tool the junta will have left to control the masses will be the seething, frothing ultra-nationalism that infests that nation so thoroughly.

I suspect that if China hits a period of very slow growth (which would be akin to a recession here), the Chinese would look to the invasion of Taiwan as a way to rally the motherland around the flag and government. The West's reaction to Georgia certainly hasn't added any deterrent value.

I would put the odds of a Chinese attack on Taiwan even greater if Obama is elected. Make no mistake- neither the Chinese nor the Russians have any respect for "soft power", and correctly judge the Western left for what it is: a bunch of weak-kneed, effete, decadent delusional pussies who wouldn't be able to prevent an invasion of London or Washington, no less an invasion of Taiwan or Tiblisi.

Further, the Chinese could reason that if Western boys wouldn't put their lives on the line for Georgia, why would they die for Taipei? Whatever way you look at it, clearly the West's response to the crisis in Georgia has made the world a much more dangerous place.

So what to do?

The first thing is to get troops on the ground in Georgia ASAP. Call them 'Peacekeepers' or whatever you want, but we need Western boots in country now. These troops can help re-fortify Georgia and most importantly will act as a tripwire. I don't think Putin is dumb enough to kill Western soldiers; he is ex-KGB who was used to this game of chicken during the cold war.

The old maxim was "The Russians play chess and the Americans play poker". Let's ante up then and call Vladdy's bluff. All in. Throw away the fucking chessboard... its a stupid game anyway.

The second thing we need to do is to exact an economic toll on Russia. It needs to be removed from the G-8 and banned from even trying to join the WTO. Further, tariffs should be placed on Russian oil and gas. This will hurt Europe more than the USA, but I think its the price Europe should have to play for letting us fund their defence for the last 50 years. In any case, in a few years Europe will have grown accustomed to getting its energy elsewhere and Russia's power will have been greatly weakened.

Whatever the case, we need to make it abundantly clear that the West will only be pushed so far. The sooner we act in Georgia, the better.

P.S.- The Russians, French, and Palestinians all want Obama to win the election. Is there any question whom you should vote for?

TDL OIL 101: A WEAK DOLLAR DOSEN'T JUST SUCK FOR U.S.

2008-08-12T21:04:00.003-04:00

Continuing on my rant, I wish to point out to all those that read that the weak U.S. dollar- which has been caused by irresponsible government spending and unnaturally low Fed interest rates- is more than just an inconvienence as you fill up your gas tank or have to squeeze your way past hordes of gay-looking German tourists on Park Avenue.

THE WEAK U.S. DOLLAR, in all actuality, IS A GRAVE NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT TO BOTH THE UNITED STATES AND HER ALLIES AROUND THE WORLD.

Thats right, a weak U.S. dollar is extremely dangerous to our personal security, as well as the security of our friends (and freindly enemies, like France) around the world who don't even use dollars.

'How', might you ask?

Oil, as a little short research will reveal, is bought and sold around the world in U.S. dollars. Oil prices aren't denominated in Euros, Pounds, or Yen. It is denominated in the greenback, as this remains the world's 'reserve currency'.

When the U.S. dollar goes weak, like it has since 2002, it takes more dollars to buy a barrel of oil. This means that AS THE DOLLAR DEPRECIATES, OIL PRODUCERS COMMAND MORE AND MORE MONEY FOR THIER PRODUCT.

Thus, a weak U.S. dollar leads to a much larger transfer of wealth from oil consumers to oil producers... even when those consumers don't use the dollar.

Case in point- Vladimir Putin and Russia. The latest weakness in the dollar has left our ex-KGB 'friend' swimming in wealth... wealth he has used to buy tanks, jets, and new equipment for the once decrepit Russian military. You can thank the weak dollar (and the idiotic U.S. government policies that spawned it) for the lastest Russian adventures throughout the world, including the beatdown just administered to Georgia.

You can also thank our moronic monetary policy for Hugo Chavez's forays in socialist dictatorship down in Venezuela as well as Iran's march towrds the nuclear bomb. Trust me, if oil remained at $50 per barrel neither Chavez nor Ahmadinejad would be in power today. Both of these assholes bankroll thier entire freakish frankenstein experiments on the extra cash they receive out of Western consumers' wallets.

So what can YOU do? To start, if you're an American DON'T VOTE FOR POLITICIANS THAT WANT TO SPEND MORE MONEY. It is imperative that we begin to CUT social programs and unnecessary government spending to bring our enourmous debt back under control. In the past, this meant voting for Republicans. Now, since the Republicans have proven that they can piss away money just as adeptly as the Dhimmicrats, I would have to advise you that you need to look at your politicians on a case-by-case basis and pick the cheapest of the lot.

Believe me- the money you save at the pump and in taxes (when we don't have to invade Iran) will more than cover the amount of money your school district will receive by the Joe Shmoe (D) Funding America's Schools Act.

If you're not an American, STOP BUYING OUR DEBT. Do not invest in U.S. treasury bonds or any other U.S. govermnet debt instrument. When the gravy train from overseas dries up, it will force the cocksucking politicians here to rein in their spending and raise the interest rates. Either way, the dollar will be forced to appreciate in value.

OIL 101 PART II

2008-08-09T21:29:00.002-04:00

INCREASED DEMAND

In my prior article, we talked about how the decline in the value of the U.S. dollar contributed to a rise in oil prices. Now, let's examine the role that increased demand played in the recent run up.

The last 15-20 years have seen unprecedented growth in the economy of China, as well as India and Brazil to a lesser extent. China has a population of 1.3 billion people whereas India has a population that is estimated to be between 800 million and 1 billion. Brazil has a population of around 187 million, which is 5th in the world and roughly 2/3 the population of the United States (U.S. population- about 300 million).

Over 1/3 of the entire population of the planet lives in China, India, and Brazil, and they are being lifted out of poverty at an unprecedented rate. These are people that will all eventually buy cars, have oil heat, use electricity, and fly off on vacations. The combined populations of the E.U. and the U.S.A., which had consumed the vast majority of oil in the past century, only numbers about 650 million- at least 200 million less than the population of India alone. Only by looking at the numbers can one comprehend the enormity of what is going to happen.

When the United States' economy is growing well, 4% growth is a very, very good number. China routinely posts yearly growth rates of over 10%. An economic slowdown in China would be considered 8% growth, which is double what excellent growth would be in the United States.

In all fairness, developed nations rarely grow as rapidly as developing nations, and the U.S. economy's performance in the last 20 years is far superior to that of Europe, but the numbers bear out that developing nations (dubbed 'emerging markets' on Wall Street) are growing very quickly, and that growth requires fuel and raw materials.

Just as human growth requires food, so does economic growth require oil, metals, and other commodities. These are the 'food' of a growing nation.

Wall Street professionals are not stupid. They can read the statistics just as I can, and most reached the conclusion that oil and raw materials would be a good long-term investment. This is especially true since no new oil, aluminum, iron or copper is being created by the Earth. Its that old supply and demand thing again- stagnant/decreasing supply + increasing demand = rise in price.

While not stupid, however, Wall Street traders are only human. As demand for oil began to ramp up in places like China and India, some traders bought it and made money. Other traders saw their colleagues making money, and they too climbed on top of the oil train. Soon, as investors piled on, the value of oil began to increase at a rate that bore no relation to the actual increase in demand from the developing world. This was the foundation for the recent oil bubble.

To this explosive mix throw in the falling dollar....

THE OIL BUBBLE

As the U.S. Dollar decreased in value, investors on Wall Street began to look for a hedge- a place to put their money where it would not lose value as the dollar depreciated. The traditional hedge during periods of currency depreciation and economic downturns has been gold. Every time the economy went south in the past, investors flocked to gold.

And while gold is nice and glittery, its really not the most useful substance. You can't eat it, you can't build stuff out of it, and it has a long history of fluctuating in value. In short, gold may not be worth more in the future than it is today.

During the recent economic slowdown, which started mostly due to the real estate bubble and ensuing credit crisis, investors got a bright new idea: instead of gold (which is mostly useless), why not use oil as a hedge against the falling dollar? After all, oil is very useful and China/India are crazy for it. Oil will always go up in value because 'god ain't making any more' and it powers both developing and developed nations alike. If there's one indispensable commodity to every nation on Earth, its oil.

And so, investors began to purchase oil futures as a hedge against the falling U.S. currency. That's when the price of oil really began to skyrocket.

In October of 2007- right at the beginning of the credit crisis- Crude Oil traded at around $60 per barrel. By July of 2008 it hit $147 per barrel! That's a ludicrous increase of almost 150% in around 3/4 of a year. Considering most estimates indicate that world demand for oil grows by 3% in a year of strong growth and 1% in a year of weaker growth, it didn't take a wizard to know that this unnatural run up in oil was bound for a precipitous and sudden collapse.

Which is what seems to be happening as I write this. As oil went higher and higher, economic growth in the U.S., Europe, and the rest of the developed world began to suffer. It also had a calamitous impact on food prices (you need oil to make food- both to harvest it, process it, and get it to market), which hurt the developing world.

As oil rose, demand for it decreased. Oil producers began to find that they had bigger and bigger inventories of crude as less and less of it was being bought. Many investors were about to find out the hard way that, just like real estate, nothing goes up forever, regardless if god is making any more of it.

To make a long story short, in late July oil stopped rising. Then it dropped almost $5 in one day. The smart investors jumped ship. Others, sensing that oil was due for a crash, refused to buy it. Then it was off to the races- As I write this oil has touched $115 per barrel and is gaining downwards momentum. Voila- no Bush/Halliburton conspiracy, no nefarious OPEC plan to destroy the West, and no greedy cabal of 'Big Oil' striving to make record profits at the expense of the average American.

In fact, the insane increase in the price of oil was initially touched off by the weak Dollar, which in turn was caused by Washington's fiscal irresponsibility. Congress' masochistic refusal to devlop American oil reserves certainly didn't help the matter.

In any case, TDL's expert opinion is that (at least for the short to intermediate term) oil will eventually settle at less than $100 per barrel and most likely in the range of $75-$95 (most likely around $85).

CONCLUSION

In any case, the fundamentals that caused the initial rise in oil are still present. China and India continue to grow. There is still strong demand in the West. More importantly, there is nothing on the horizon in the near future which will come close to replacing oil as the most important commodity in a modern economy. You can't power your car with a windmill, solar power is guaranteed not to work close to 50% of every day (maybe more when its cloudy), and hydrogen power still remains elusive and expensive. Unfortunately, no matter what smoke the Left tries to blow up your ass, oil will be essential for the foreseeable future.

Mark my words- if the status quo continues the day will come when oil is worth $200 per barrel... without a bubble. It might be 10 years from now or it might be 30 years from now, but it will happen. The task of the U.S. government should be to take steps to put that day off as long as possible. We've seen what an oil shock can do to our way of life; let's not lose this opportunity to try to extricate ourselves from this trap before it really comes for us.

What the U.S. government needs to do is relatively simple: 1) We need to develop new sources of oil; 2) We need to pour money into research to try to speed the development of alternatives to oil power.

We need to develop new sources of oil to keep the price of oil low enough for us to function for the foreseeable future until we can develop plausible alternatives. The Left and Hussain are prone to droppin' loads of bullshit on us like: "drilling off our coasts would not produce a single barrel of oil for at least 7 years". This ignores obvious counterarguments: a) The expectation that more oil supply will enter the market in the future is enough to drive down oil futures in the present; b) had we begun drilling 7 years ago, we'd have oil now. In other words, it makes no sense not to drill for oil because you won't have it until the future. Like Nick Manning, at some point future will definitely come.

Most importantly, we need to come up with ways to cut our use of oil as much as possible. If that means hybrid cars or hydrogen cell cars, so be it. If that means building nuclear plants, then that's what we need to do.

Don't get me wrong- Global Warming is total bullshit. That said, despite their idiocy the green movement has a few decent ideas to contribute towards the geopolitical goal of reducing oil dependency.

Reducing our use of oil is good for America and good for our future. It will cut the paychecks of scumbag cocksuckers like Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, Ahmadinejad, and the Saudis. It will also reduce the probability of future armed conflict with China (oil competition will cause tensions between us). Best of all, it will make the middle east- with its assorted grab-bag of whackos and medieval haji assclowns- nearly irrelevant geopolitically. We will not have to involve ourselves with Muslims anymore, and we can leave them to their own goat-raping devices.

So, to sum up:
1) High oil was not caused by price gouging by 'Big Oil'
2) U.S. debt and reckelss spending devalues the dollar, which makes oil more expensive and makes the oil market more volatile. Oil's rise has nothing to do with tax cuts or the war in Iraq.
3) More government spending and preventing further drilling- the policies of Barack Hussain Obama- are likely to further worsen the oil market.
4) Taxing 'Big Oil' will not make oil cheaper but will probably make it more expensive.
5) Chinese and Indian growth provided a foundation for the oil spike, and their continued growth is likely to make oil gradually increase in price over the long term.
6) The best option for the United States is to minimize the use of oil, and in order to do this we need to drill for more oil to give ourselves time to develop alternatives.
7) Nick Manning really enjoys droppin' loads.
8) Someone ought to stick a double barreled shotgun down Nick Manning's throat and pull the trigger.
9) Muslims enjoy droppin' loads on goats.
10) The Left is so stupid its frightening.

TDL: OIL 101 A TWO PART SPECIAL REPORT

2008-08-03T15:21:00.003-04:00

CAUTION- THIS IS A SERIOUS ARTICLE. IF YOU WANT TO LAUGH TODAY, VISIT THE PEOPLE'S CUBE OR CAPTION THIS!

A lot has been said these days about our high gasoline prices as well as the 'record profits' of 'big oil' corporations.

The implication of these hand-wringing gloom and doom stories by the mainstream media is quite obvious: GAS IS HIGH BECAUSE CORPORATIONS ARE RIPPING YOU OFF.

The cynical, blatantly deceptive 'logic' flows as such: Gas is much more expensive and big oil is making record profits. Gas must be high because oil corporations are making record profits. The way to stop gas from being high is to tax the oil companies, because it will discourage them from making record profits.

The above is a pure-bred socialist understanding of the way the world works. Not surprisingly, its the logic that our very own president-elect, Hussein Obama, has adopted.

Its also (as Penn and Teller would say)..... BULLSHIT!

Gas is more expensive for two main reasons. The first is the weak U.S. dollar. The second is increased demand. Increasing demand and flat supply, combined with a weak dollar lead to the ancillary effect of a speculative bubble in oil (much like the tech bubble of the late 90s or the real estate bubble of this decade), which is only now beginning to crack.

THE WEAK DOLLAR

In the summer of 2002, the Euro achieved a rough parity with the US dollar. That is, the Dollar and Euro exchanged at roughly 1:1 ratio. As of July of 2008, the Euro reached $1.60. The dollar has also declined sharply against the Japanese Yen and the British Pound during that period. Recently, 1 Pound was worth 2 dollars American.

Why the decline? The two major reasons are pretty simple. It certainly isn't because Europe has a better economy than the USA, though moonbats would have you believe just that. The reality is that the dollar declined because of historically low U.S. interest rates and a massive, ballooning U.S. debt which is still out of control. Yes, folks, the dollar weakened in large part due to the very spending policies that Hussain intends to foist upon us as soon as he sets his narcissistic feet in the Oval Office.

To explain, the U.S. has maintained low interest rates from the Federal Reserve Bank in order to facilitate and spur economic growth. Low interest rates from the Fed mean that its cheaper for institutions to borrow money from the government. This has two effects- it is generally beneficial to the economy because it means that more money is available for businesses to borrow so that they can do a bunch of good things like build a bigger office, or buy new machinery, or hire new employees. It also has the side effect of making the dollar more plentiful. Everyone who took Econ I in college (you know, the one for brain dead freshmen) will know that an increased supply with a flat demand will cause something to lose its value. Thus, more dollars = less valuable dollars. This simple rule of supply and demand is constantly lost on leftists, who were probably taking Lesbian and Transgender Basket Weaving instead of Economics while in college.

In any case, while the Fed maintained low interest rates, the U.S. government continued to spend like drunken sailors. This is the fault of all the criminals in Washington, Democrat and Republican alike. The massive U.S. debt has two major effects (among many others)- the first is that in order to pay its bills and interest, the government creates more money. As we said above, more money = less valuable money. Secondly, the debt causes the government's creditors (those who lend us the money to spend like Linsey Lohan on a coke binge) to gradually lose confidence in our ability to pay it back. Loss of confidence in the government = loss of confidence in our currency.

The hordes of moonbattery would have you believe that the cause of our massive debt is Bush's wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. THIS IS A LIE. They will also tell you that Bush's tax cuts caused the debt. THIS IS A BIGGER LIE.

As of 2008, U.S. Government spends around 24.9% of our budget on defense. In 2000, (before the wars) the U.S. spent 20% on defense. In 1960, during the height of the Cold War, the U.S. spent 54% (and there was little or no debt). So, U.S. defense spending rose about 4.9% in the last 8 years which is still a decline of more than 50% since the Cold War. The question thus begs to be asked- where does all our money go?

The facts don't lie. The U.S. government currently spends around 55% of its budget on Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and Welfare. The scary thing is that as the country ages and the baby boomers retire and become sick, the proportion diverted to Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security has nowhere to go but up.... exponentially. By 2013, without added Democrat spending that an Obama victory would surely entail, the U.S.A. is projected to spend 61% of our budget on Welfare, Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security.

In other words, social programs- the Democrats pet causes- are responsible for the vast majority of our expenses, and Hussain's plan to nationalize medicine will vastly expand the amount of money plowed in to health care.

STAY TUNED FOR PART II- INCREASING DEMAND FOR OIL

TDL TIME TRAVEL- A LOOK INTO THE FUTURE

2008-07-31T20:24:00.002-04:00

DATELINE: WASHINGTON, D.C.
January 25, 2009

The Democrats of the Obama Administration appoint thier new Secretary of Defense....

"We have appointed Wesley Clark as our High Counselor"

"Thank you. I am skilled in the arts of war and military tactics...."

Yeah- go ahead... elect this narcissistic fuck

2008-07-30T13:55:00.004-04:00

President-elect Hussein:

"This is the moment . . . that the world is waiting for.... I have become a symbol of the possibility of America returning to our best traditions."

You can read more here.

Jesus. WTF is the public thinking? I think its clear Obama has major psychological issues... but then again wouldn't you if your father was a Muslim drifter who banged and left your mother, who in turn proceeded to move to Indonesia and drag you along with her (where she married yet another Muslim), only to ship you home to your grandparents when you became a hinderance?

It is widely accepted in psychology that "early childhood separation, neglect, and attachment disorders" are causal factors in the development of a malignant narcissist.

Hussein, based on the traumas of his childhood, may well have NPD, and that scares the shit out of me. God help us all if this punk gets elected. Nothin' like having a president that probably should be medicated. Thanks MSM!

TDL SUMMER BREAK

2008-07-20T21:20:00.003-04:00

No, TDL is not dead. Our Patterson, New Jersey offices have been emptied for summer break. Check back in September when we will begin to cover the coming obamination.

TDL presents: GINGER HISTORY MONTH

2008-05-30T23:46:00.005-04:00

This month TDL salutes an oft overlooked and much maligned race of people who have contributed greatly to modern society and world prosperity.

In the spirit of tolerance and awareness, TDL heretofore solemnly designates June as World Ginger History Month. Throughout the month of June, TDL will celebrate Gingers' diverse and important contributions to humanity. Further, in the spirit of Gingerdom, for each hit on this website TDL will donate $1 to the United Ginger College Fund.

The Ginger-American of the day for June 1, 2008:

RICK ASTLEY

Rick Astley was one of the most important Ginger-American entertainers of the 20th century. Raised in the tenements of Ginger Harlem, Rick's meteoric rise to stardom took him from the smoke-filled clubs of New York to the pinnacle of MTV success during the 1980's.

His revolutionary hit, "Never Gonna Give You Up", changed the very fabric of American life and influenced many future artists from The Backstreet Boys to Soulja Boy. Rick's musical genius changed the paradigm of American music for years to come, and opened the door to the widespread acceptance of other Gingers, such as Carrot Top and Julianne Moore, into popular culture.

H/T Caption This! for the Astley reference.

The "Patriarch" is dying....

2008-05-21T20:15:00.004-04:00

I wish death upon no person that is not an Islamic terrorist or Ivy League humanities professor, however I will certainly not shed a tear when Ted Kennedy meets his maker and finally has to answer for Mary Jo Kopechne. You can escape human justice, especially if you are rich and powerful, but no one can escape the ultimate justice and equality that comes to us all in death.

Ted Kennedy is truly one of America's great lowlifes; His recent political betrayal of the equally loathsome Hillary Clinton should be the exclamation point at the end of his long, corrupt, and pointless political career, however I suspect he will be spun into something of a tragic hero bravely battling cancer by our mainstream media.

Bravery, however, would have been more aptly demonstrated by sacrificing one's political career and presidential apsirations to try to save a girl that was left to drown in a 1967 Oldsmobile. Maybe Ted truly is remorseful about Chappaquiddick, but if he was any sort of honorable person he would have come clean about his drunk driving a long, long time ago.

AND SO NOW IT BEGINS....

2008-05-13T20:49:00.003-04:00

You can almost hear 'em whizzing overhead, the shells fired from the media as they begin their D-Day general election barrage for Barack Obama.

Already, we see what the tactics will be.

Articles. Articles implicitly laying out the subtext that the media hopes will win the election for the most far left candidate ever to be featured in an American presidential election.

Video Clips. Video clips depicting an uninformed minority opinion with the hopes of casting all those that oppose Obama for various reasons in the same light.

To put the strategy plain and simple: IF YOU OPPOSE OBAMA, YOU'RE A RACIST.

We all knew this was coming, and now we've reached that point. Decades of political correct indoctrination will be put to the test. Countless hordes of 20-something zombies who can't form a single opinion of their own (because they've never been taught to think critically) will fall head over heels for the stratagem, as will millions more senescent baby boomers. White guilt. Black pride. By any means necessary.

And when the dust settles, the media will have one of two opinions- "This proves that America is still a racist country at heart" OR "That was too close. We still have work to do if we are to win the battle against racism".

Those who think this election is the most important issue can't see the forest for the trees. How can there be a fair election when the unelected "little Goebbels" of the media control the psyche of the entire Western world?

CHARLIE SHEEN INVESTIGATES: THE ROAD TO LESBANON

2008-05-11T16:17:00.000-04:00

This post was originally from Summer 2006 during the Israeli - Hezbollah War. It covers the subject of Middle East conflict with deft Sheenesque insight and since I haven't been writing jack fucking shit lately why not throw out there again, and revel in my past brilliance

By: Charley Sheen / Number 3

When the A.C#1 told me I was going to Lesbanon I was totally excited. I love Lesbanons but not the fat, short, ugly ones ya know, the hot ones is good. I’ve used my Mega-star status as an Emmy nominated actor on the smash show “Two and a Half Men” to score me plenty of Lesbanons before but this time I was going to the source. I hadda fly into a country called Syriana because some jokers was invading Lesbanon or somethin’ not that you could blame them, men doing crazy things for a hot piece of slice. My guide into Lesbanon was this guy named Hakmed with a uni-brow he made me buy four donkeys, which we would ride to my destination like true Middle Eastern cowboys. The stuff I learned filming my blockbuster hit “Young Guns” would come in super handy. On that particular film my co-star and close personal friend Kiefer Sutherland, star of the hit show “24,” said that I was a natural born cowboy.

(This is me and that jerk Hakmed on our way to Lesbanon)

I’ve been to this part of the world a bunch of times and man it never stops sucking. It’s a million and a half degrees; there are spiders as big as my head; and the women get honor killed if you even look at them. Every once and a while on our way through Syriana some angry guys in a pick-up truck with a gun mounted on it would drive up and yell at us in jawa and my guide would have to bribe them with one of our spare donkeys. Man this is no way for a Mega-star to travel my guide even threw out the bottles of tequila I brought. What a jerk, now how am’ I gonna score with the Lesbanons?

I think A.C#1 needs to take some lessons from my publicist on how to treat a Mega-star next time I see him I’m gonna tae-bo his ass into next week.It’s been a day and a half on donkeys and I see Lesbanon on the horizon. Aside from a few rolling gun battles with Bedouin militia and C.I.A. helicopter gunships the trip has been pretty uneventful. I’m pretty sure spies from at least 6 countries are following us including a hot French chick who tried to kill me, but then I banged her. The situation is serious, as it seems The Sheen isn’t the only one trying to get into some hot Lesbanon action.

**Charlie Sheen: The Lesbanon Saga Pt.2**
**Charlie Sheen: The Lesbanon Saga Finale**

HUFFPO? Actually, yeah....

2008-05-07T16:48:00.001-04:00

Link

They only published it 'cause he's an atheist. Dead on, though.

TDL Links to:

2008-04-27T20:26:00.003-04:00

TDL's good friends A from "a Dirty Martini" and regular TDL commenter Daphne have started a blog together called:

"Verity Falls"

TDL heartily endorses the reading of said blog, because Daphne is from Texas and carries a sawed-off side-by-side named the "The Widowmaker" on her belt.

Ha!

I'm only kidding. It's real name is "Troy." She had a big thing for Troy Aikman, in fact his rugged good looks still makes her swoon.

- A.C #1

TDL CLASSICS: ARIANNA HUFFINGTON IS:

2008-04-23T20:49:00.000-04:00

By:A.C #1

Though Arianna Huffington has taken it upon herself to inflict her quasi-communist views on the American public through her blog, nowhere on the blog does it mention that she is in actuality a dirty foreigner who despises our country, or that she is actively seeking a course which will deform our proud nation to make it more closely resemble her beloved Greece.

As Americans we somehow manage not to interfere in the politics of that island nation to the north, but Mrs. Huffington cannot resist attempting to alter America’s political landscape despite not being one of us. (Okay so technically she is an American after becoming failed California gubernatorial candidate Michael Huffington’s beard way back in 1992) So in the interest of Balance we here at TDL NEWS have decided to do what we do best; enlighten the masses with some little known facts regarding the political machinations of Arianna Huffington’s homeland.

• Greece is a parliamentary Monarchy. Every six months the parliament, which consists of 300 members, votes on who gets to be King of all Greeks for the following six months. The duty of the six month King is to prepare for the bi-annual election of the next King of Greece.

• The actual governance of the Greek people’s daily lives is left to Mayor of Greece’s largest city and capital Athens, in which 75% of the population lives. The Mayor of Athens is chosen in a way that will probably sound familiar to Americans. Every four years the people select the finest goat in all of the lowlands and blindfold it, the goat is then paraded throughout the country. When the goat reaches the top of Mount Olympus the blindfold is removed. If the goat sees its shadow a member of the esteemed Baltakamoos clan becomes Mayor, if it doesn’t a member of the cast of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” becomes Mayor.

• A major controversy has existed in Greece as to what steps must be taken to resolve the long standing dispute over the island of Cyprus. Cyprus is a large island adjacent to Greece which is split into two halves including a Northern section controlled by the Greeks and a Southern section controlled by a Witch. The Greek government led by Mayor Markos Baltakamoos has been paralyzed into inaction due to the evil eye which was placed on Mayor Baltakamoos by the Witch two years ago after she broke into a cabinet meeting and spit on him while swinging a dead cat over her head.

• Greece has also recently been struggling over the proposed privatization of the country's Universities. Wow privatization sounds ummm…interesting.

• Recently a local Shepard fromThessaloniki found a pile of sheep crap which, he states, resembles the Holy Synod. The Shepard armed with his poo has declared himself “The Favored One” and has moved against the current Prime Minister in an attempt to seize power. Sensing the fall of his government, the P.M. abdicated his office to the Shepard who then became the third straight Greek P.M. to ascend to power through a poop based coup.

Since I'am responsible for all of you learning so much about Greece and its political workings I feel I must also urge you to be more judicous with this knowledge than Mrs. Huffington has been and ask that you please not try to affect the future of nations that are not your own, because there will always be a fundamental disconect between an outsiders view,(especially if the outsider is a pious multi-millionaire elite who shuns contact with any normal Americans, unless you count the cashier at Bijan in Beverly Hills) and reality. Mrs. Huffington fails to realize, like many liberals, that America is more than a six hour flight between shopping sprees and the people in between are, despite this past election, not socialists eager to hand their money over to the Feds so they can use it to fight "Climate Change," or whatever the soft-headed liberal cause-du-jour may be.

TDL NEWS: I'D HATE TO SAY 'WE TOLD YOU SO'........

2008-04-15T08:33:00.003-04:00

But we told you so!

Once again, TDL was way ahead of the curve with this story, which came more than 2 years before the the MSM realized there was a problem.

I'm not gonna even imply we're smarter than the average blog; as a matter of fact we're not much smarter than an autistic 10 year old that has the facilities of being able to count.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that corn-derived Ethanol is the biggest scam this side of Global Warming, nor does it take a rocket scientist to see that the idea of growing our own fuel was totally impractical and in fact incredibly destructive.

What really troubles me is that the MSM-Government Idiocracy continues to push ethanol, even when blatantly on its face it has been shown to:

1) Be a net energy loss
2) Be more expensive than regular old oil
3) Encourage deforestation
4) Require the increased use of the twin boogymen- 'toxic' pesticides and genetically modified plants
5) Cause starvation
6) Require government subsidy (i.e. 'welfare') to break even

That's right- we've reached a point where the Global Warming scam has now officially caused death. Food riots have killed in Haiti .

What does food have to do with ethanol? Quite simply, when you devote about 20% of the American corn crop to making ethanol, you have less corn for food. Next, when you require that a certain percentage of fuel in our vehicles be ethanol, you cause demand for ethanol to skyrocket and thus you cause the price of gas to skyrocket. Gas powered vehicles harvest corn, and transport edible corn crops to market.

Less Food + High Gas Cost = MORE EXPENSIVE FOOD. Duh.

Yet the Idiocracy keep on truckin'. Note that this ~~Left Wing Propaganda Rag~~ New York Times article does its best to blame skyrocketing food costs on other factors in an effort to cover the asses of the Global Warming crowd, but it cannot gloss over simple supply and demand.

And to be fair, we cant entirely blame the left for the ethanol scam. Many Republicans (do Republicans even represent conservatism?) from mid-west support ethanol heart and soul, mainly because it enables fat government subsidies to be doled out to their farmer constituents. And finally, you have profiteering corporations like ADM which are making hundreds of millions off of government mandated and subsidized ethanol production and refinement.

Yet we can blame the left for the Global Warming scam and its deadly impact. Ethanol would have never been subsidized without the support of Global Warming fearmongering , and its complete ineffectualness would not have been concealed for so long. Few Americans questioned why 10% of their gas has to be made of ethanol, and even fewer questioned why congress has mandated that up to 1/5 of the nation's ENTIRE OIL SUPPLY needs to consist of ethanol by 2025.

All to "save the planet".......

Now the scam, which is really just a cynical grab at government welfare (i.e. YOUR TAX DOLLARS), has turned deadly.

TDL CLIMATE KOOL AID: BBC ALTERS NEWS TO ACCOMODATE GLOBAL WARMING ACTIVIST

2008-04-08T22:03:00.002-04:00

This is a great story which really shows us where MSM "news" comes from these days.

Apparently, the BBC grudgingly ran a story which indicated that the Earth would be cooler in 2008 than 2007. The Ministry of Truth attributed this cooling to the La Nina effect and assured the world that Global Warming would be back with a vengeance, but this was not enough to satisfy the Global Warming enforcers.

A particularly virulent moonbat by the name of Jo Abbess immediately took issue with any suggestion that Global Warming might be taking a breather, and wrote the BBC a host of emails. "Remember to challenge any piece of media that seems like it’s been subject to spin or [climate change] scepticism" says Jo.

To make a long story short, the BBC eventually altered its story to imply that this year's cooling was "slight" and that "record high" temperatures are forecast for the next five years! lol.

I suggest that you all click the link provided to read this idiocy for yourself. One wonders to what extent every single item of "news" from the MSM is filtered through the prism of left wing activism.....

H/T Junk Science

A Message from The "Styrofoam Council of America"

2008-04-06T17:31:00.000-04:00

All this week TDL will be bringing you educational programming that supports a healthy Styro-lifestyle.Remember the Holiday Season is the perfect time to "Go White" with Styrofoam!

Have you considered what life would be like without Styrofoam?

Styrofoam brings people together, it keeps warm drinks warm, and cold drinks cold.

Did you know that Styrofoam is a naturally occurring substance? Despite the lies and misinformation about this gift from "Mother Earth" Styrofoam continues to improve the lives of people all over the world.

In fact recent evidence suggests that Styrofoam was harvested and fashioned into rudimentary kitchen utensils as far back as Native American times.

All over the United States the anti-Styrofoam lobby is being defeated, just last month the Arkansas legislature halted an attempt to ban the use of Styrofoam Spittoons in the State Capital.

Don't you want to be on the side of progress, on the side of Styrofoam?

TDL GOES DARK!!! Earth hour 2008

2008-03-29T13:23:00.008-04:00

For TLA with regards from A.C #1

The TDL offices were buzzing today as the time to "go dark" became more and more imminent. Leading this new Global movement is the world's only non-evil corporation, Google, who are taking the lead and in promoting the "go dark" initiative.

(Yeah so that is totally redundant, look at the hips on her!!! Jeeezuss lord I'm on my knees praying here!)

Now everyone should know by now that TDL is based in a sprawling office complex in the highly metropolitan city of Paterson, NJ. Paterson is a widely diverse city consisting of nearly 4% non-blacks, so the members of the TDL News Team have been "going dark" for quite sometime. And all along we had no idea that our regular Saturday night routine of getting a....

A decanter of King Cobra Malt Liquor
a banana cognac blunt
and a fine foxy hoochie mama

....could be good for the enviornment or whatever.

TDL highly encourages all the peoples of the earth to join us, and Google in this endeavor of making the world a better place through the noble act of banging a black chick.

For some reason the Neanderthals over at Hot Air are dead set against "going dark" but you know what they say "once you go dark, you never go back" so get with the times Ed Morrissey

TDL REBELS AGAINST MSM: FITNA

2008-03-28T16:17:00.004-04:00

Here is the "controversial" Dutch film "Fitna", which has been deemed so offensive that it has been banned by most online servers. What's so horrible about this movie? Well, it mainly tells you what the Koran says. Of course, this means it doesn't neatly fit into the "Religion of Peace" paradigm MSM and the left wants us all to buy.

The version below is in English.

SO MUCH FOR THAT! ONCE AGAIN FREE SPEECH HAS BEEN COWED BY MUSLIM TERRORISTS.

FUCK ISLAM. FUCK MUHAMMED. AND FUCK ALLAH, IF IS IS THE TYPE OF GOD MUSLIMS BELIEVE IN. WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED BY THESE FASCIST TERRORISTS.

Well as of 4pm it still appears to be hosted here, however the page is slow to load and you might have to refresh it a few times.

Having seen the movie, all I can say is that its a bunch of footage of 9/11 as well as the London and Madrid train bombings coupled with actual verses from the Koran that justify violence. It also has footage of Muslim imams calling for the death of "infidels" and jews. Really, there is no reason why this movie should be banned in any free society.

What have we become?

TDL SALUTES

2008-03-27T17:50:00.007-04:00

Our good buddy Swamp Rat.

He's heading over to Iraq real soon, and we all hope he has a safe tour, and that he can keep the sand out of his shorts, for a little while at least.

From all your pals at TDL:

TLA, Number 2, and A.C #1

SEND THE TERRORISTS TO ALLAH, SWAMP RAT! WTG, BROTHER. PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. -TLA

America- Fuck Yeah!

TDL: The Shameless Adriana Lima pic post Two

2008-03-24T18:21:00.001-04:00

TDL: The Shameless Adriana Lima pic post

2008-03-23T16:26:00.003-04:00

OBAMA TO PUBLIC: YOU WONT VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE YOU'RE RACIST

2008-03-20T13:02:00.003-04:00

B.O. on the Reverend Wright debacle:

"In some ways this controversy has actually shaken me up a little bit and gotten me back into remembering that, you know, the odds of me getting elected have always been lower than some of the other conventional candidates," the Illinois senator told CNN in an interview that aired late Wednesday.

Huh?

Did he just imply that the reason his campaign is suffering after the Wright affair is because the voters are bigoted????

It sure sounds that way to me.

This guy is a fucking jackass and doesn't deserve a single vote from any real American. If the "odds" against you were so great, Barack, why were you at last count thrashing Hillary and up until a week ago ahead of McCain (a war hero) in the national polls?

I think the facts are manifestly clear that Americans were willing to look past your skin color and your Muslim name until YOU AND YOUR SUPPORTERS made race an issue.

YOU chose to attend a militant church and YOU chose to accept a "mentor" who believes AIDS was invented by the government to kill blacks. For all of your empty rhetoric about getting beyond race, YOU chose to accept the support and tutelage of some of the most ignorant, racist people in the entire nation. YOUR WIFE has claimed that a black man cannot safely go to a gas station in the USA, and YOUR ADVISORY COMMITTEE has openly called for slavery reparations.

In short, YOU MADE THIS A RACIAL THING and now you have the nerve to imply that the odds were stacked against you because of your race? Go to fucking hell.

TDL Classics: Paul Krugman The TDL Interview:

2008-03-15T21:48:00.000-04:00

By: A.C #1

For millions of Americans flipping through the New York Times looking for Paul Krugman's latest column is a daily ritual. Among opinion writers few stand as tall as Krugman, his astute and balanced view of America is highly influential throughout the world. An esteemed bon vivant, Paul Krugman's speaking engagements entertain and inform tens of thousands of audience members a year. With several best selling books to his credit Mr.Krugman seeks to educate the masses and open doors previously held shut by decades of white Christian Zionist dogma.

WRIGHTGATE

2008-03-14T18:16:00.002-04:00

Yeah, who broke dis shit to ya'll honky crackers well befo' the media???

Damn straight, ya white devils. Obama sez: "Fuck Whitey!!!"

MOONBAT IDIOCY IN NYC

2008-03-13T22:38:00.004-04:00

This picture was taken near City Hall in Lower Manhattan, NYC:

In other news, the City of New York has announced plans to rename still other thoroughfares:

5th Avenue will now be called People With SARS Street

Broadway will now be called Crackwhores With Clap Concourse

The FDR Drive will be renamed Animals with Incurable Ass Cancer Avenue

and 42nd Street will now be called The Native American Children With Indigestion and Ingrown Toenails Hopeful Road of Change.

For more Moonbattery, why not visit Moonbattery?

TDL OPINION: FUCK THE ORYMPICS!

2008-03-09T12:20:00.002-04:00

Yeah, you heard me. Fuck the orympics and the government of China arong rith them.

As if the regime in China wasn't sickening enough with its support of the Sudanese government in their rape of Darfur, or its constant sabre rattling concerning the re-unification by force of a smaill island (Taiwan) to the mainlaind against its people's will, we now have this disgusting story out of Beijing.

Apparently, in an attempt to 'tidy up' for this year's utterly irrelevant Olympic Games, the Chinese have resorted to murdering thousands of stray cats around the capital.

Now I'm the last person on earth you'd confuse for a PETA member, but what the fuck is the purpose of this slaughter? Why would cats be so offensive and repulsive to the Chinese that they must kill them in their thousands before the olympics??

Which brings me to another thought- what the fuck does China think is so fucking special about the olympics? Chime in if you feel differently, but I feel that the olympic games have become completely pointless in the post cold war world. I really cant believe that the world's most populous nation is so insecure that it needs a two week long fingerblast of amature shit sports like shot putting or water polo to act as its geopolitical debutante ball.

What a bunch of fucking losers. When the olympic games were proposed for New York City in 2012, the vast majority of New Yorkers were opposed to the games. New Yorkers, secure in themselves, identified the games for what they are: a waste of time and tax money that screw up traffic and fuck up people's lives for two weeks.

The Chinese government's entire world strategy has revolved around these fucking games for the past decade. They rallied their entire nation to land the games, and now their psychosis has reached fever pitch in their slaughter of, of all things, harmless cats.

Well I say to China: Who the fuck cares???? Fuck the olympics and fuck you. I dont see China as a great nation because of the olympics; In fact I have lost what little respect for that government that I had to begin with. Do you really want to be a great nation? Begin with adopting a constitution and the rule of law. Have free elections and abolish the one-party rule system. Then tell Taiwan that you don't really care if they 're-unite' with the mainland, since you already have 1.3 billion people to begin with.

Instead, China will forge ahead with its revolting attempt at getting the world to like it, like a drooling overgrown unwashed autistic trying to ask a cheerleader to the prom. Well I hope that by the time the olympics roll around and the cats are all slaughtered, that Beijing is infested with millions of diseased rats to go along with those already at the helm of the 'people's republic'.

And I hope that the West grows a dick and boycotts these games. Nothing would do more to fuck up the plans of the world's next great brutal authoritarian dictatorship than to rob it of the object of its obsession for the past decade. China must know that when it acts in a barbaric manner, the West will take notice in unison.

TDL OPINION: VICTIMFIGHT!!!!

2008-03-05T06:10:00.007-05:00

This is from Maureen Dowd's opinion piece in today's ~~Left Wing Propaganda Shitrag~~ New York Times:

"With Obama saying the hour is upon us to elect a black man and Hillary saying the hour is upon us to elect a woman, the Democratic primary has become the ultimate nightmare of liberal identity politics. All the victimizations go tripping over each other and colliding, a competition of historical guilts."

I never thought I'd say this, but the bitch is spot on.

And I love every minute of it. For too long, left wing cocksuckers have been exploiting their highly embellished victimization for their own cynical political purposes. It's about time that they choke on it.

Ever wonder what goes on in the swirling, stinking cesspool that is the left winger's mind? Try this pearl of wisdom on for size:

"Ali Gallagher, a white Hillary volunteer in Austin told The Washington Post’s Krissah Williams: 'A friend of mine, a black man, said to me, ‘My ancestors came to this country in chains; I’m voting for Barack.’ I told him, ‘Well, my sisters came here in chains and on their periods; I’m voting for Hillary.’ '"

Yes, that's how these people think. Lets examine that thought process, shall we?

1) In regard to the Black Man: True, your ancestors may have come here in chains, but the last slaves to come to America came over 140 years ago. YOU have never been a slave, and YOU are far better off that your ancestors had not been left in Africa. Instead of living in a hopeless malaise of pestilence and poverty, begging for foreign aid from Bono, you live in a first world nation with access to the world's biggest economy, plentiful jobs, and the best health care. Just the fact that you have the ability to vote for your president is something that is a direct result of your ancestors being brought 'here in chains', so stop whining about something that happened to people you never even met. More than half a million Americans were slaughtered for the sins of slavery, and millions more were maimed for life (see The Civil War).

PS- Blacks weren't the only people to ever be slaves, so why do they have exclusive victimhood rights to it? Slavs, such as Russians or Serbians for example, were taken as slaves so regularly that the word 'slave' is descended from the word 'Slav'.

2) to 'Ali Gallagher': I suppose when you're not enough of a victim, you have to manufacture injustices such as 'The Great Menstruating Sex Slave Roundup of 1825'. Since fucking when were women 'chained' and brought to America?? Better yet, how can you equivocate the plight of women here to what happened to Africans? Your stupid assed relatives should have stayed in Ireland and starved to death so that your idiocy would not be polluting our gene pool today. Its no surprise you're voting for Hillary, since you are obviously dumb enough to be duped by those two clumsy frauds (i.e. the Clintons) into thinking that they stand for anything other than their own grip on power.

In any case, I think that blacks and feminists ought to fight it out to the death. Of course, we all know that blacks easily win the victimhood fight (see Victimhood Poker), and Obama will still be the nominee. I just hope that they victimfight long enough so that Mavrick (see John McCain) wins the presidency. I'm not a great fan of Mav, but at least I know he won't run away from terrorists.

TLA'S PREDICTIONS: Look for Hillary to continue her attacks on the media, alleging that Obama gets a 'free ride'. This is rich coming from a Clinton considering the 8 years of softball coverage they enjoyed during the 90's. Additionally, Hillary gained some traction by rightfully asking if we really want Obama in charge during a national security crisis. For Hilldog to continue to be successful, she should keep the focus on Obama's lack of experience rather than her own so-called 'experience', which the voters can see through. As a side note, did anyone else notice that in Hillary's Ohio victory speech she was prominently flanked on the stage with by a black woman? The Clintons are priceless.

Look for Obama to counter attack tough media coverage with the race card. These attacks will not come through him, but rather via proxies that are white and probably female. Also, Obama will seek to counteract his percieved lack of experience with the valid argument that Hillary's time as Bill Clinton's wife does not make her experienced in running a nation. Regardless, Obama's 'Hope & Change' mantra might be losing its steam. Did Obama peak too early?

NUMBER 2's PREDICTIONS: Expect the price of prostitutes to rise as the weak dollar and inflation take their toll.

TDL Classics: Women's History Month Special Dove's "Real" Beauty II: The Cellulite Strikes Back

2008-03-02T15:57:00.002-05:00

By: A.C #1

It's gotten to the point that #2 is starting to regret telling me that March is Women's History Month, a fact that would have otherwise eluded me. Since he informed me I've decided to have a month long celebration of femininity during which TDL has sought to enlighten the debate over what it means to be a woman, conversely Dove has sought to enfatten the discourse by producing gut-puncturing horror shows like this...

...and hilariously call it "Real Beauty."

Dove's point with this image is to suggest that Ugly is the new attractive, my original point with my first post about Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign is that beauty is obvious you know it when you see it, and this sure as the sun rises ain't it:

That shit is a crime against humanity.

This lady may be a very nice person, fine that's great. She may bake beautiful oatmeal-raisin cookies, but let's be truthful here, she's no Helen of Troy, hmmm...more like Helen of Milwaukee the face that launched a thousand Bratwurst.

When I wrote beauty is obvious in the first post the implication was that when a company like Dove hypothesizes the opposite, revolting is beautiful, those who celebrate said hypothesis are lying to themselves and these new ads are the perfect representation of that point.

Can you truthfully say these women are as beautiful as Adriana Lima?

Hell no you can't, unless you're retarded.

They are average looking people, nothing more. But beauty is above average, it stands out, it is unique and unattainable. Beauty is Lamborghini Gallardo, these women are Le Car's.

The underlying aspect of this campaign is reflective of the psychological sea change America has experienced thanks to the goddamn "baby boomers." These ads are an outward extension of the Dr.Phil and Oprahitazation of life, where your every blessed burp and grunt is a grand celebration of you, irrespective of reality. These Dove ads are another manifestation of the same theories that removed pens with red ink from schools and replaced them with less traumatizing purple ones so as to ensure high self-esteem in our kids, eschewing such hurtful activities as telling them when they're wrong. Now, you aren't wrong, you're just differently right.

According to Dove these women are "differently beautiful" meaning:

UGLY.

**Bonus Lima**

***Sorry***

***The person I'm apologizing to knows who they are***

TDL RELIGION AND ETHICS: CHECKING IN FROM IRAQ

2008-02-27T21:37:00.003-05:00

by Grand Imam Al Haj

Greetings, and may the glorious golden warm peace of Allah cascade down your face and into your gaping mouth, where you may gag and drink from it as a camel does from the Ali Rahman Al Hajjiya Bin Masood oasis.

So as you might imagine, things have been slow here lately. This whole surge shit really cramps my steez. I just feel so trapped and bottled up; Ive got all these great ideas to glorify Allah just exploding from my imagination, and no way to go about doing them.

Like the other day, I thought: "Wouldn't it be great to impregnate a 16 year old virgin girl with a giant bomb, and then blow her up when she was taken to the hospital to deliver, killing everyone in the hospital ward?"

Or how about this- bake some cupcakes with mini-bombs inside them, and then drop them off to the local elementry school... and for good measure, put a candle on each cupcake in which is hidden the fuse of the bomb! Its pure genius!

Or try this one on for size- go to an animal shelter, and find some fluffy orphaned kittens, rape them, and then poison them with cyanide!

Anyhoo, the real purpose of my article is not to discuss my brilliant schemes that will surely bring praise to the Prophet Muhammed (PBN'J). After all, I wouldnt want you soon-to-be-smitten infidels biting off my shit. No, the real reason of my article is to congratulate you infidels for seeing the light and voting for Barack Obama.

First, I would like to praise Mr. Obama for his wisdom. In particular, his idea to pull crusader soldiers out of Iraq is simply stellar and it is the kind of change I can believe in.

Second, I welcome Mr. Obama's commitment to dialogue. For too long, the motto of the Americans when it comes to islamofascists has been "shoot first and ask questions later". Do you not see how such a black-and-white worldview make you no better than we, and in fact, worse? I welcome Mr. Obama's pledge to sit down and speak with us. Together, I can inform Obama of how Americans torture and kill innocent Muslims and then I can convince him to convert to the true faith of his father.

And surely, after our dialogue is through, we will all live together in peace right after I smite the neck of every dirty jew in the caliphate.

But let me not get ahead of myself. The point I want to make is that a vote for Obama is a vote for change. Its a vote for change in Iraq, and its a vote for change in American foreign policy. The sooner you capitulate is the sooner we can have peace, and isnt that what your great heroes like Neville Chamberlain stood for? Shall you now dishonor his memory and vote for a man who bombed innocent babies in Vietnam?

In any case, methinks I hear an Abrams tank approaching, so I shall have to log off now. Just remember- change can only happen if you believe in it! Yes we can! Allah Akbar!!!!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

2008-02-25T07:53:00.004-05:00

..... and in other news, Louis Farrakhan has thrown his support behind Barack Obama. What a surprise.

God help us.

TDL POLICY: THE OPTIONAL TAX

2008-02-21T19:44:00.003-05:00

We here at TDL are always looking for new and innovative ways for the United States to become a better, more progressive place. Strong proponents of Change We Can Believe In, the editors of TDL- much like their counterparts at the New York Times- proudly gaze towards the future with Hope for the Greater Good and a multipolar world of diverse tolerance.

In particular, at TDL we feel no one should be without health insurance, as the constitution clearly guarantees such. Further, the best way to deal with uninsured Americans and illegal immigrants alike is to involve the boundless efficiency and incomparable competency of the United States government.

That's why TDL has proudly devised a health care plan for the greater good of all Americans and not-so-Americans. Our plan, called The TDL Health Initiative (TDLHI), will have the following features:

Guaranteed eligibility. No American or non-American will be turned away from any insurance plan because of illness or pre-existing conditions.

Comprehensive benefits. The benefit package will be similar to that offered through Federal Employees Health Benefits Program (FEHBP), the plan members of Congress have. The plan will cover all essential medical services, including preventive, maternity and mental health care.

Affordable premiums, co-pays and deductibles.

Subsidies. Individuals and families who do not qualify for Medicaid or SCHIP but still need financial assistance will receive an income-related federal subsidy to buy into the new public plan or purchase a private health care plan.

Simplified paperwork and reined in health costs.

No Sickness. The new public plan will rid America of bacteria and other pathogens, including viruses, that cause illness.

Now I know some of you heartless, greedy right wingers out there must be asking: "But TDL, how do you plan to pay for such a plan? Surely it will be expensive and we're already in trillions of debt."

Well we here at TDL are disappointed in you. We're asking you to believe... not just in our ability to bring about real change in Washington; We're asking you to believe in yours.

That's why we propose the Optional Tax.

If you really, really believe in Change and if you really have true Hope for the Future, then you won't mind voluntarily paying an additional 15% of your gross income to the U.S. Government.

If you are an attorney who makes lots of money suing doctors because you truly care about the public, then you won't mind voluntarily paying an extra 15% of your earnings.

If you are a Hollywood star or musician who makes so much money that you have a vacation mansion to go along with your regular mansion and your spare mansion, then you wont mind donating 15% to the government for the good health and strong bones of all Americans.

If you are a university professor at an Ivy League school, who through your superior intellect and real-world experience know that the health care issue must be addressed through government intervention, then you should have no problem with giving an extra 15% of your salary to said government.

If you are an editor or an op-ed writer at a large New York City newspaper that has fought tirelessly for the rights of defenseless prisoners at Guantanimo Bay, you should have absolutely no problem with donating 15% of your salary to help those less fortunate.

And if you are just an ordinary well-adjusted progressive individual who is sick of big business and corporations like Blackwater denying health coverage to millions of little kids with brain cancer, then you will have no problem donating 15% of your salary to the government.

The way we see it, if all progressive individuals get together and kick in just 15% of our gross earnings, we can wipe out the health care crisis once and for all! To hell with the conservatives; Our moral superiority makes unilateral action on the part of all progressives the best answer for our future. Let us march forward, now, pooling our money so that we may alleviate the suffering of those without healthcare coverage. After all, how can we expect less enlightened and more barbaric Americans to pony up when we won't even put our money where our mouth is?

Behold, utopia is close at hand! To donate 15% of your salary to healthcare, contact us at dicklist1@yahoo.com. Together, we can bring real change to Washington! Who is with us?

MICHELLE OBAMA: PROUD OF HER COUNTRY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE???

2008-02-18T18:28:00.004-05:00

Why?

Because her husband leads in the Democratic primary????

Shit, if you can't think of any reason other than that to be proud of the United States, you have no business being first lady. As a matter of fact, you have no business living within our borders. GET THE FUCK OUT AND MOVE TO NORTH KOREA, CHINA, SUDAN, OR IRAN FOR A FEW MONTHS. Then, maybe, you can come up witha few more reasons to be proud of America.

Cunt.

But then again, what else should one expect of the left wing human refuse that is churned out of Harvard Law School each year......

I wonder what her LSAT scores were, anyway. I'll put money on her scores being well below the Harvard average; Its virtually certain she only was accepted to HLS due to her skin color.

Evil America.

I'll also bet she got substantial scholarship money due to abundance of dermal pigment. Come to think of it, maybe I'm the one thats not so proud of America.....

America: no reason to be proud in our lifetimes???? Fuck off, Michelle.

TDL: Lazy Sunday Post

2008-02-17T15:24:00.004-05:00

Been real lazy lately, thanks to TLA and #2 for keeping shit going while I dawdle about

BARACK OBAMA- A PRESIDENT FOR ALL [left wing radical] AMERICANS

2008-02-13T20:42:00.003-05:00

As if my suspicions regarding who is behind the Obama campaign weren't strong enough, LGF goes and finds these beauties:

Yep, folks, thats Obama campaign headquarters in Houston.

I'd be angry right now that the American public is sleepwalking towards the election of a left wing radical, but the way MSM is burying this story why would you expect anyone to know any different?

I am not making the argument that Obama is a supporter of the communist murderer Che Gueverra. He may well be in his heart of hearts, but he has not said so publicly and he has not as yet flown to Cuba to kowtow to Fidel Castro. What troubles me is that people who are unabashed supporters of socialism and communism play such a prominent role in his campaign. What does that say about Obama's constituants and thus the ideological roots of an Obama administration?

Obama: the new JFK..... if JFK was a pacificst communist sympathizer. Once again, yikes. WTF are we doing????

OBAMA: RACE DOESN'T MATTER (wink wink)

2008-02-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

So who's behind the campaign of Barack Obama? All races and creeds, dancing together in harmonious diversity.... or so it would seem.

Then again, could it be that some people in Obama's campaign might be far left race warriors? Nah, couldn't be. Obama has maginalized these leftovers of the 1960's. They play no role in his campaign, right?

Take, for example, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, who is the pastor of Barack Obama's church and from whom Obama got the title of his book "The Audacity of Hope".

He only preaches a little black liberation theology on the side, and he has, at best, a warm relationship with Louis Farakhan of Nation of Islam fame. And aside of the little 'vacation' he took with 'ole Louie to meet Colonel Ghadaffi in Libya in 1984 (when we were in a practical state of war with that country), he has very little else to do with Farakhan except for his magazine, "Trumpeter", awarding Louie with the "2007 Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. Trumpeter Award". I mean, did Trumpeter really mean it when they stated Louis Farakhan "truly epitomized greatness"? I think it was just for show. Race doesn't matter, after all....

Then there's Obama supporter Cornel West. Obama actually called Mr. West for his support, since its really important to have a man that believes that "the U.S. a 'racist patriarchal' nation where 'white supremacy' continues to define everyday life" on your campaign.

As a matter of fact, Professor West, who was pretty much fired from Harvard for neglecting his scholarship to put out a rap CD (I suppose president of Harvard was too racist to inderstand that Black professors don't have to do the work that other professors must do), has said that "the accumulated effect of the black wounds and scars suffered in a white-dominated society is a deep-seated anger, a boiling sense of rage, and a passionate pessimism regarding America's will to justice."

Just the sort of man we want behind our future President!

"It goes without saying that a profound hatred of African people . . . sits at the center of American civilization."

Touche, Professor.

Finally, there's this little gem from the good Professor regarding the attacks of September 11th: "the September 11, 2001 attacks gave white Americans a glimpse of what it means to be a black person in the United States— feeling unsafe, unprotected, subject to random violence, and hated for who they are".

Yeah....ummmmm... thats exactly what comes to my mind when I think of 9/11.... being treated like a black person. Well, maybe moreso if on 9/11 the Muslims let me into their best madrassas despite my low SAT scores and gave me a full scholarship so that I could one day become a madrassa professor dealing in poorly reasoned intellectual sputum and tired racial whining.

Then, of course, there's the good old Professor Charles Ogletree, who sits on Barack Obama's political advisory team. Why not read Mr. Olgetree's seminal tome, The Case for Reparations, if you have some free time? Oh.... and just so you know, Mr. Ogletree is so generous that he wants reparations for more than just Jewish holocaust survivors. Prof. Ogletree, since Barack Obama is mullato does he have to pay himself? What about those that are a quarter black? Do they only have to pay 75%?

Not to worry, though! Obama campaign manager for Latinos, Cuauhtémoc Figueroa, says that Barack is inclusive of all non-white colors and creeds. Mr. Figueroa should know. Named after the heroic Cuauhtémoc, a noble Aztec captain who fought the evil Spaniards for the right to flay prisoners and/or rip their still-beating hearts out, Mr. Figueroa is well aware that Barack must cross color lines in order to succeed (I wonder aloud if Mr. Figueroa's parents were left wing radicals). Mr. Figueroa has assured the world that Obama will do more to bring Mexicans- even those that arent citizens- into the diverse mix.

If you want to know more about the "race doesn't matter" grassroots of Obama's campaign, you can read this.

TDL REPORTS: Finally A Third Party Candidate We Can Get Behind

2008-02-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

From "The Nose on Your Face"

Seriously for the love of God just fucking vote for McCain. Fiscal Conservative, Social Conservative, Uber Hawk, so what he likes TV cameras.

I'M NOT RACIST! I VOTED FOR THE GUY WITH DARK SKIN!

2008-02-08T21:25:00.000-05:00

So this is what it has come to....

Mark my words, the candidate of the Democratic party will be Barack Obama. And it is the brilliant illustration of all that America has become in this day and age.

Far from being a non-factor, race is more significant than ever in American life. Barack Obama is the proof.

This is a guy who was in the Illinois state senate deliberating on funding for traffic signals 4 years ago and now is probably the odds on favorite for president of the USA, running a campaign based simply on "change". What sort of "change"? Damned if anyone knows....and damned if he'll tell ya. He has no foreign policy experience, no economic experince, and no track record of getting anything done anywhere that matters. And thats not the whole of it. Whatever etherial promises Obama makes are wishful thinking if not lollipop fantasies straight from the magical gumdrop forest of fairyland.

For example, in the commericals that he ran during the primaries in New York, Obama pledged "to bring Republicans and Democrats together" to enact "universal health care" (see 'socialized medicine'). How does he plan on accomplishing that little feat? Why, with the "audacity of hope" topped off with a dash of "change" of course! After all, why shouldn't Barack Obama be able to wave his magic wand and make Republicans and Democrats stop arguing? I mean, just because Abraham Lincoln, FDR or Eisenhower couldn't do it, does that mean Barack cant? Why let a little detail like objective reality get in the way of a good speech...

Never in my entire life have I seen a candidate with so little real substance, and that includes witnessing the campaigns of Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Kerry, and Dukakis. This is a guy that's running for president of the USA without offering a single concrete plan on what he's going to to. His entire campaign can be summed up with two sayings: "Change" and "I was against the Iraq war".

The reality of Barack Obama is plain for all to see. THE ONLY REASON WHY OBAMA HAS A CHANCE OF BEING OUR NEXT LEADER IS BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN. There, I said it. Obama is getting a pass because he looks like he's black.

Turn him into a fully white man, and Barack Obama doesnt even get 5% of the Iowa vote. By now, his campaign is already over. He is a hoplessly cliche, inexperienced version of John Edwards with less money and cheaper hair. Hey, at least Edwards had his whole "class warfare" song and dance. What exactly does Barack have? Instead, he is the darling of the drooling, fawning MSM who have consistently refused to make our would-be president plant roots on even one major issue aside of the left wing no-brainer we call Iraq.

Barack Obama frightens me not because he is mullato... I could give a shit if he was purple. No, he frighetns me because he's the 'devil you don't know'. I know what to expect from the Clintons- lies, scandal, calculation, and ultimately leadership that, although lacking balls (quite literally this time), will not take rash chances. I am not afraid of left wing zealotry from the Clintons because they have no ideals. They are amoral, soley concerned with thier own power. Once a position loses political expediency, you can bet the Clintons will abandon it.

Obama, on the other hand, could be a budding disaster. Does anyone know what this guy really beleives? How do we know we arent about to elect a half-black second coming of Jimmy Carter...... if not Hugo Chavez?

Barack plans to withdraw from Iraq and "bring the troops home", but because of his skin color no one has asked him what would happen if a post-occupation Iraq degenerated into a giant terror training camp (not unlike pre 9/11/01 Afghanistan) sitting astride the world's oil jugular. Its not as if this scenario is one that would never cross MSM's mind; it is in fact the likely outcome of a full U.S. withdrawal.

And what of our debt, which thanks to the "Republican" Bush administration, stands near $10 trillion? How does Obama plan to address what might be the nation's most pressing issue when his pet project is to create "universal healthcare", which would be the largest social program in American history? Already, medicare, medicaid, and social security eat up over 25% of our entire GDP each year. In contrast, we spend 3% of our GDP on defense. Soon, the interest payments on our debt will eclipse what we spend on medicare/medicaid and social security. How does Mr. Obama intend to pay for committing even more of our GDP towards social programs? Is it even possible to pay down our debt, commit more money to an unweildly government medical system, and still have enough to provide for our defense? More importantly, how come no one has forced Obama to answer this obvious question?

Finally, how come no one in the MSM has forced Obama to take positions on the staples of the American political debate that every politician is forced by MSM to address: abortion, capital punishment, gun control, "climate change", and illegal immigration? As much as I loathe Hillary, I know where she stands on these issues.... exactly where her focus groups tell her to stand, and focus groups are never radical. Sure, Hillary leans left but I'll bet my bottom dollar Hillary won't take up the fight to make partial birth abortion more widespread.

Fact is that no one will ask Obama the tough questions because they dont want to be perceived, rightly or wrongly, as racist. This is particularly true amongst white leftists, who's calculus when it comes to Obama looks something like this: Against Iraq War..... +1000 points; Black that speaks well, so in voting I can do pennance for my original sin of being white...... +50,000 points; Pro socialized medicine.....+50; No economic experience..... -5 points; no foreign policy experince -3 points; minimal political experience..... -2 point; Don't know where stands on vast majority of issues..... -1 point.

So, in short, I contend that the (largely MSM fueled) phenomenon of Barack Obama is purely one of race. We are as far from overcoming race in this nation as we have ever been; all the "progress" of the last 50 years is merely illusory. Voting for a black man based on him being black does not make one unprejudiced. This is because had we made real racial progress, no one would be afraid of asking Obama the tough questions. No one would be lauding and fawning over an inexperienced 'kid' politician that quite clearly has no business being in the White House. No one would passionately support a candidate that has no discernable position on 95% of our major issues.

Instead, we are voting for a man based on his skin tone. Yeah, we've made real progress. Yikes.

UPDATE:

Apparently I'm not the only one who sees the nebulousness of Obama's campaign. Good article by The Australian.

Big Blue Wrecking Crew

2008-02-04T18:29:00.000-05:00

My views, as eloquently expressed by Carl

VENGENCE!!!!!!

2008-02-03T22:57:00.000-05:00

2004 is now repaid with interest. Have fun up there in Boston.

NEW YORK GIANTS 2007-08 WORLD CHAMPS!!!!!!

Dopey Senator Compares Spygate to CIA

2008-02-01T12:11:00.000-05:00

- Number 2

Meet Arlen Specter: lead Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee and certifiable moron.

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) wanted to hear the NFL's explanation for the purging of evidence in the infamous "Spygate" case involving the New England Patriots. He wrote commissioner Roger Goodell on Nov. 15. He got no response.

Specter, the top Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee, wrote Goodell again more than a month later, after getting no acknowledgment to the initial communication.

Two days before the Super Bowl, there is plenty of response.

In a phone interview Thursday with The New York Times, Specter said the committee at some point will call on Goodell to discuss why the league destroyed the tapes that revealed the Patriots had been spying on the competition.

"That requires an explanation," Specter told The Times. "The NFL has a very preferred status in our country with their antitrust exemption. The American people are entitled to be sure about the integrity of the game. It's analogous to the CIA destruction of tapes, or any time you have records destroyed."

What. The. Fuck. I'm no fan of the Patriots, but did this moron really compare SpyGate to the CIA destroying tapes? I'm not sure what's worse, elevating SpyGate to a national security threat or lowering the CIA Tapes to the level of a football game. And he's the head of the Juidiciary Committee? This is pure, unadulterated hubris. Specter is pissed that some of his buddies got a lot of face time out of MLB's steroid hearing and was looking to glom onto that a bit. But being the out of touch mummy that he is, he managed to screw it up. Thanks Arlen.

TDL Culture - They're Gonna Start Taxing 40ozs and Blunts!

2008-01-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

- Number 2

Eliot Spitzer's really stepped in it now.

[T]here was no shortage of chilly opinion about Gov. Eliot Spitzer.

He plans to close a multibillion-dollar budget deficit partly by sharply raising taxes on small cigars like White Owl and Swisher Sweets and even more for malt liquors like Olde English “800” and Colt 45. The governor’s proposal would lift the malt liquor tax to $2.54 a gallon from 11 cents a gallon.

For a 40-ounce malt liquor, that would mean a tax of 79 cents per bottle, up from less than a penny, if the proposal is approved by the State Legislature.

Liberals love to throw around terms like 'regressive tax' in which the poor are disproportionately taxed. Is there any tax more regressive than one on 40s and blunts? (except for maybe lottery tickets that is)

What's even more comical is the Old Gray Lady's take on this story.

For a 40-ounce malt liquor, that would mean a tax of 79 cents per bottle, up from less than a penny, if the proposal is approved by the State Legislature. “It’s messed up, it’s wrong!” said Darryl, who looked as though he was in his 50s and was bundled up against the cold. “You got mostly poor people like me buying malt liquor.”

Asked why he bought malt liquor rather than beer, Darryl, who declined to give his last name, looked quizzically at a reporter and replied, “You get twice as much, and it’s got a bigger kick to it.”

A 40-ounce malt liquor, almost a third of a gallon, will cost up to $2.50, compared with $3.50 or more for an equal amount of beer. While beer contains about 5 percent alcohol by volume, malt liquor can have as much as 9 percent.

Roman Isre, 28, a barber at Erik’s Barber Shop on 10th Avenue, said he bought malt liquor once or twice a week. “That’s bad!” Mr. Isre said when told about Mr. Spitzer’s proposals.

Would he buy less malt liquor? Mr. Isre smiled. “Nah. You got to do what you got to do,” he said. “It’s like gas. You drive the same mileage for $2 a gallon or $3.50 a gallon.”

Why does everyone in this story sound like a character from Samford & Son?

Super Bowl Baby! Super Bowl Yeah!

2008-01-21T22:21:00.000-05:00

TDL GOES INSIDE: The Mind of the South Carolina Republican Primary Voter

2008-01-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

By: A.C #1

In order to gain a better understanding of today's primary TDL reached out to the average South Carolin-er-o-ian, or whatever they're called, to gauge the mood of voters from around this rural mountain state. We encountered a man named Elmo Pusser. He, like his father before him, and his father before him, works in a um...salt mine - quarry - oil rig or something, and considers himself to be "dang gud at the huntin varmints."

We asked Mr. Pusser about his views on the various candidates vying for the nomination of the Republican party.

Rudy Giuliani - "He am dat Eye-till-yan him at no gud be'in dum der Presdent."

Mike Huckabee - "Dat der man he dun be gud at gettin' rid a dem no gud der Jews..."

At this point TDL had to halt the interview. Whoa, Whoa okay pal. I'm not sure what the hell you're saying but, I am sure it will get us thrown in Gitmo if you don't shut up. Is there anybody else in your family we can talk to maybe?

In order to gain a better understanding of today's primary TDL reached out to the average South Carolin-er-o-ian, or whatever they're called, to gauge the mood of voters from around this rural mountain state. We encountered a woman named Bitty Jo Hindengarten, the fiancée of a Mr. Elmo Pusser. Ms. Hindengarten currently is "on the welfare because my Great Grand Aunt Hindengarten cursed me with the gout on her deathbed, so's I caint work nun." She was happy to speak to us about her views on the various candidates vying for the nomination of the Republican party.

Rudy Giuliani - "When's I get to be on the tv box? It won't be when "American Idol" on will it? I's never miss my Simon. Wait am I on "American Idol" now? Oh my God, Oh my God, I knew Simon couldn't resist me singing the Carrie Underwood song to him in mah video tape, I better puts on mah fancy underwears."

Mike Huckabee - "I loves my Simon. He British and thems people is sa-mart. He tickle mah fancy. You cute too, wanna quick ride before I makes it legal with ol'Elmo?"

At this point TDL had to halt the interview. We reminded Ms. Hindengarten that she was in fact not on "American Idol," and that TDL had previously interviewed her about America's mortgage crisis."

TDL
We interviewed you about the housing crisis, remember "They done took mah house" what happened with that?

Bitty Jo Hindengarten
Nah unh-unh, yall done gots me confused with someone else

TDL
Um no, we tend to remember interviewing people who weigh 400 lbs and ask us to "jump into bed like a jack-rabbit done what got into the horseradish," that shit we remember. Obviously they didn't done take your house.

Bitty Jo Hindengarten
Now yall listen, mah story gots that "Extreme Makeover - Home Edition" to build me a second addition to mah house, and a extra large terlet instaled, if you Yankee bastard ruin that for me I'll tell Elmo you brought varmints into the house, he don't like varmints much at all, oh Elmo, c'mere sugar.

At this point TDL had to halt the interview and run for our lives because the image of a man with Elmo's lazy eye holding a shotgun, told us everything we need to know about the South Carolina primary.

Read TDL Goes Inside the Mind of the Iowa Caucus Goer

A NEW MEMBER OF THE TDL FAMILY IS BORN!

2008-01-18T13:19:00.000-05:00

We here at TDL are pleased to announce a new member of the family, conceived in the fertile minds of the TDL News Team and delivered in a gooey mess of placenta and amniotic fluid from deep within TDL's loins.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to introduce THE SARS LIST!

THE SARS LIST harkens back to the early days of TDL; no frills, no graphics, no hyperlinks, no common decency. Just pure, unadulterated hatefulness and intolerance. Enjoy.... though I should warn you that if you are religious, you'll probably have to pay double your time on TSL while you're burning in hell.

TDL REPORTS: Christopher Columbus is even WORSE than your College Professors told you

2008-01-16T22:06:00.000-05:00

- A.C #1

In a shocking new study evidence has been revealed that genocidal conquerer Christopher Columbus attempted to annihilate his own countrymen as well as the peaceful Children of the Earth Mother he encountered in the so-called "New World."

From Christopher Columbus' Real Discovery - Wired Online

"Syphilis' newfound camouflage, along with warfare and the imperatives of human reproduction and recreation, helped it spread rapidly across Europe. Many of the continent's most prominent historical figures suffered from the disease; some may have been influenced by madness wrought by the bacteria as it entered their brains. Among the afflicted were Ivan the Terrible, Friedrich Nietzsche, Pope Alexander VI, Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler."

This article clearly shows that his madness, and thirst for death knew no bounds!!

You're probably thinking:

"How the hell was Columbus supposed to know that he, and his men, were carrying tiny microbes which humanity would not see clearly until the electron microscope was invented over four centuries later?"

Well the answer is simple, um...genocide...white colonialism...er...Earth Mother Gaia.

So there.

Well Mr. so-called Columbus, what do you have to say for yourself?

"I'm dead"

Dead or not, TDL strongly recommends that Christopher Columbus' bones be disinterred and tried for crimes against humanity at the Hague...

...did that article really try to make Columbus partly responsible for Hitler?

"Among the afflicted were Ivan the Terrible, Friedrich Nietzsche, Pope Alexander VI, Benito Mussolini and Adolf Hitler."

Yeah it did.

That's some good science right there.

Carl on The Big Blue Wreckin' Crew's Huge Victory over the Cowboys

2008-01-14T16:18:00.001-05:00

Poor Jessica, those inbreed hicks in Texas will never let her live this down.

TDL SPORTS: An English Chick Explains "American Football"

2008-01-13T09:52:00.000-05:00

By: aDM over at "a Dirty Martini"

American Football is an intriguing sport. Helmets, padding, lots of contact, bizarre and unfathomable terminology, pretty cheerleaders that take themselves very seriously indeed ("save the cheerleader save the world")...

...big blokes saying funny things to camera, big blokes throwing a rugby ball really really really far, the word 'Grid Iron', the money spent on entertainment, the silly controversy, blokes yelling things like 24 98 21 8 HUT HUT HUT!! (what? what? whaat?!!)

In an effort to sucker more money out of tv contracts the whole cultural sports exchange thing is big right now.

Real football is being profiled in the US c/o David Beckham (my favourite, i won't hear a bad word said against him) and at the end of last year the New York Giants and the Miami Delfiniums played an NFL game here in London at WEMBLEY.

This is the first time an NFL game has ever happened outside America (i think). Imagine if they decided to profile a Manchester United vs the Arsenal Premiership points-mean-prizes game in New York?

It was played in the pouring rain (the only time it rained last year, waddayaknow).

I like sport. And since none of the bastard media outlets could be bothered to serve up any Premiership matches on the box today - to hell with them. Let's give it a go.

Like Rugby it has players who violently tackle each other a lot, you can kick a conversion and the ball is a funny shape. But that's where the similarities end.

In American Football, you either have the ball or you don't, you move forward or back for territory gains. That's basically it.

But its made about 50 squillion times harder to understand by the tactics and unnecessary jargon. Cricket-like jargon. For example a bloke can be "rushing" (which i always thought meant being munted) and the phrase "4th and down" is repeated a lot for no apparent reason.

And get this...you can have 53 players on a team! Actually that's not a bad idea - better odds surely. None of this injury malarkey screwing up your teams chances.

They have a "punter". And a "NoseTackle" and "Tightend" (Tightend? Let's not go there). Ends, Nose Tackle, Defensive Linesman, Safeties, Guards - they sound like the Household Cavalry.

I recognize the word punter but its not the same. And Quarterback! Yeah i get that. The quarterback is the OFF-ensive (pronunciation is odd on that word with emphasis on the 'off') bloke who throws the ball really really far for a 'touchdown' and generally gets all the kudos. You get 6 points for a 'touchdowwwwn!!' (I get that too, it's like 'goooaaaaal'!!).

But here's the thing - and why it will never work here. American Football can ONLY be played when it's sunny. Otherwise it goes to shit.

The London match was proof of that. They spent most of the time on their arses, dropping the ball in the rain and getting bogged down in the mud in a permanent scrum. American football has only two options...

- to move forward a lot
- to move forward very little

...versus the ball-free-to-move-in-any-direction-it-pleases fluidity of football/soccer/futbol or rugby.

Essentially American football is about size and arms. They're massive. And I do mean massive. Look at this guy.

If his arms were any bigger he would need scaffolding. It's like a game of grid iron chess pumped full of testosterone. I like it!

Its lacking terrace chants, tears, fights, riots, drama & political gesturing but we can work on that if it takes off here. It's not even life or death! And all the players speak English.

Predictions for todays Games

OK so the Colts won this thing last year, led by the super dreamy Peyton Manning and he's just like the David Beckham of the Superbowl (i know this because girls write "you're perfect I love you" on his fansite). So I guess they're the still the favourites? Besides San Diego's Gates has a dislocated toe. And this limits Quarter Pounder Back Phillip Rivers' options. With all those other blokes they can't find a replacement? The Chargers' do have a league-leading rusher, LaDainian Tomlinson but there is only so much he can do. (I'm not surprised. Who'd play munted?).

Prediction: Chargers 21-43 Colts

So the New York Giants won in London last year. And this weekend they play-orf Dallas. I like the Giants. My expert prediction is Dallas may struggle against a Giants passing head rush. But as good as Giant Man Eli Manning was in last week’s win over Tampa Bay, I can’t imagine him holding his composure in the same way against the Cowboys marauding front seven and vastly improved coverage team.

(I have no idea what i just said but i like the fact they are marauding)

Prediction: 14-64 to the Cowboys.....

Editors note:
aDM knows I'm a Giants fan so take this particular prediction with a grain of salt

Glossary:

arse Noun. 1. The buttocks. The similar 'ass' isn't used as frequently, remaining more of an Americanism. S.e. from 1600s until mid 1800s.
2. An objectionable person.
3. A mistake, a poor job. E.g."He's made such an arse of that plastering job that I think we'll need to redo it."
Exclam. Expressing anger or frustration.

bloke Noun. A man.

munted Adj. 1. Ruined.
2. Very drunk or intoxicated with drugs.

TDL: Lazy Saturday Post

2008-01-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to AC/DC

Recently certified 22 times platinum, and still refusing to tour in the U.S, thanks
jerks.

TDL LABS: Brings You Hillarytussin

2008-01-10T20:39:00.000-05:00

Are you feeling like TDL's very own #2?

"Kill me now. Please, just end it. I can't take it anymore."

Have you been praying for and quick and painless end?

The Problem may be more serious than you think.

You may be suffering from Hillary Over-saturation Syndrome. H.O.S is a common condition brought about by over-exposure to images like these:

The symptoms of Hillary Over-saturation Syndrome include:
Fatigue
Dry mouth
Constipation
Uncontrollable falling down
Dementia
Loss of appetite
Wangal irregularities
In its advanced state H.O.S can lead to Psychosis, Weight loss, Weight gain, and stabbing out of eyes.

But there is hope for all of you who suffer in silence. TDL Labs brings you Hillarytussin:

After a single dose of Hillarytussin's patented formula which includes, secret ingredients, those images boring a hole in your brain will whither away, and be replaced by:

Order yours Today!!!

Anything to End the Pain

2008-01-09T11:37:00.000-05:00

- Number 2

Kill me now. Please, just end it. I can't take it anymore.

I'm pretty sure that anyone who has turned on a television since the start of the New Year feels the same way I do. Burnt out. Why? Well, lets turn on the news, shall we.

Oh goodie, more caucus/primary coverage. That's, what, 178 straight hours of coverage? Well would you look at that, one of the anchors is broadcasting form a diner populated by rejects from the off-off-Broadway production of the Bob Newhart Show. Isn't that swell. Oh, wait, breaking news from the polling firm of Dingleberry & Taint, informing us that some candidate that no one gives a damn about has gone from 1.337% to 1.537% support among female, left-handed acupuncturists who juggle flaming chainsaws. Oh wait, did someone just ask a question about an actual issue? False alarm, it was just a Head-On commercial.

Wonderful. What's on the trashy news channel? More missing white women? I would never have guessed. It's not every day that some woman goes missing in this country. It's only every five-fucking-minutes.

ESPN? Great. I get to choose between more steroid coverage or breaking down a bowl game that only matters to the 50 people that actually graduated from Inbred Hick U and the millions of gamblers so degenerate that they'd actually put money down on this abortion.

Ok, how about the entertainment news channel? Oh my god, what are they doing to that manatee? Oh wait, that's just Britney being taken to the...oh my God just kill me now.

Please. I'm begging for something, anything to happen. A war, a natural disaster, a blockbuster trade, anything by the Same. Old. Crap.

(It doesn't help that fucking Xbox Live hasn't worked properly since before Christmas)

TDL REPORTS: YouTube Justify's its Existence!

2008-01-08T14:00:00.000-05:00

**Update**

TDL REPORTS: The Internet Justifys it's existence

Hannah Montana and friend

TDL REPORTS: Little Known Facts about Norway

2008-01-06T22:52:00.000-05:00

Classic TDL from June 07, Playoffs today what do you want?

By: A.C#1

Listen to any liberal talk for long enough and at some point you'll probably hear them negatively compare the good Ole' U.S of A to the various nations of Scandinavia. Finland, Sweden, Denmark, they're all top of the heap within the flowery confines of the earnest liberal mind. (Which is odd considering that liberals often profess the virtues of "pluralism and diversity" and continuously praise these countries which are completely homo-genus)

This causes me great consternation. Not because the comments are often insulting to the country I hold so dear, rather, it is because of my ignorance regarding the history and culture of these great northern nations from which we, as Americans, can learn so much. To alleviate these feelings, I've decided to do little research and uncovered some little known facts about the one Scandinavian nation that seems to inspire the modern liberal most: Norway.

Politics:
Norway is a very modern pluralistic democracy, though it remains tied to it's ancient and indelible culture. The "Geit Koning" or in English "Goat Lord" is roughly equivalent to the American position of President. The "Geit Koning" is chosen at the passing of the 72nd moon (approx 2yrs) during the "Bloed Partij" or "Weeks of Blood."During the "Bloed Partij" every able bodied man is forced to wear a "Schande Kap" or "Mask of Shame" which are made from the heads of beasts of burden that were slaughtered at the opening ceremonies of the "Bloed Partij."

Once the men don the "Schande Kap" they are chased into the forest by children who hurl holy rocks from the foot of Mount Moord at them. The "Weeks of Blood" are not over until a survivor emerges from the forest to claim the title of "Goat Lord" and rule over Norway for 72 moons. (The "Bloed Partij" once lasted for two years during the 1970's when Olaf Von Anderson and his rival Anderson Von Anderson fought to a vicious stalemate. It finally ended when the "Great Wolf of Gray Rock Crag" came forth from the hills to smite both men. The reforms enacted by "Great Wolf of Gray Rock Crag" were considered instrumental in ending Norway's early 80's economic crisis.)

This painting of the "Great Wolf of Gray Rock Crag"
remains behind the desk of the "Geit Konning" to this day.

Sports:
Norway is a perennial favorite at the various Euro-zone Futbol Championships. In fact Norway only had its streak of 65 straight qualifications to the FIFA Cup broken when the team's star running back Anderson Von Olaf was cursed after gazing upon the Mountain of Skulls during a blood moon. Despite Von Olaf's successful hunt of a newly baptized child and subsequent ritual feast Norway's squad still fell to the hated Dutch one - nil.

Cuisine:
Norway is considered a culinary Mecca throughout Scandinavia, it's dishes often influence the rest of the region with their cutting edge taste, and plating. For example:

Half Veal head en Crut

and,

Man...I don't know what that is

People:
While E.U nations do not publish demographics of their populace by racial group, its fair to say that Norway is full of White people like all Scandinavian countries. A defining characteristic of these hearty mountain folk is their ability to survive the brutal arctic conditions that engulf Norway throughout the year. (Although death by freezing is still the country's #1 killer, especially in the winter months, July - May, when average temperature drops to -30C)

Another great source of pride for Norway is the exceptional beauty of Norwegian women, who are recognized throughout the world as paradigms of sensuality.

Entertainment:
Aside from church burning and Death Metal, Norway, like most other European countries relies heavily on American imports for their entertainment. And then they complain and complain about American "hegemony." Just listen to the Beyonce record and shut your damn mouth.

TDL GOES INSIDE: The Mind of the Republican Iowa Caucus goer

2008-01-03T20:26:00.000-05:00

By: A.C #1

TDL's Iowa bureau spoke to a Mr. Ennis Clemenson, a Republican caucus goer, about his feelings regarding the 2008 Presidential candidates. Mr. Clemenson, like most Iowans, works in a um... sawdust - mill- plant or something, and has never met anyone darker then the denizens of Dubuque's "Greek Town," a place he is sure to avoid without his trusty "side by side" handy because "if you done stand still they'll swipe the pants right off yer ass."

Here is a detailed map of Iowawaii, this "island state" was the 29th admitted into the union, though in electoral politics it's value is #1 Baby!

Rudolph Giuliani - "Now I been readin that there newspaper on the terlet for a whole month and I still k'aint figure out what the hell is a dang Jew-Li-An-I, he some kind of Lutheran? Them's people is practically Papists. I'll be god-damed we ever let a Lutheran git in the White House."

Mitt Romney - "I don't no bout this Mormon fella, it true them people worship some guy who calls himself John Smith? I got's me a cuzin name a John Smith and he ain't one to be trusted, not only do he cheat the guberment out the welfare, he'll steal the tobakky straight out your snuff box, like a damn Southern Baptist he is."

John McCain - "Man's a war hero they say. He's no Stonewall Jackson, he gave'em Yankee sons-a-bitches a run for the gettin'. I knows he supports them border-jumpin-wetback Mexicans, and they done took mah job, and my neighbor Pig-stickers job too. How he got the name Pig-sticker sure is a funny story, unless you one of them Gay's, ya'll not a Gay are ya?"

Fred Thompson - "Who him? he old as dirt and got a stare that's colder than a cast-iron commode. He remind me of my Grandpappy who don got killed in the War. And in Iowa when we say War we don't mean no Iraqi or who-sits, we mean the War of Northern Aggression, I got's me some news for ya'll too, that War, it t'ain't over."

Mike Huckabee - "He's a good one, he believes in the Lord Jesus Christ, sames as me. And I don't take a likin' to people ain't what believe in that there Jesus Christ. He said God a told him he gon be President, well she'it I ain't one for arguing with God."

Ron Paul - "The man crazier that a junebug in a Tennessee lightin' storm. I've seen rats spent a month locked in a tin shit house with more sense then him. Yeah so I likes him real good. He gonna git rid of them Irish when he President. We got both kinds of Americans here in Iowa: those what came from England, and those what came from Germany, we don't need them Irish somabitches round here."

Thanks to proud Iowawaiian's like Mr. Clemenson America's Democracy is safe, it is the noblest of insights into the human condition to allow inbred hicks the first opportunity to contribute to the world's greatest electoral process not, for example, a state that matters like New York.

"Them's is some pretty words, you sure you ain't a Gay?"

End of the Year Thank You's (a day late)

2008-01-01T16:14:00.000-05:00

By: A.C #1

This year TDL managed to raise it's readership from a staggering "jack-squat" to a electrifying "jack squat and a half." Since we are are so dizzy with success it should be understandable to everyone that we're getting our end of 2007 Thank You's out on the first day of 2008... it is the first day of 2008 right? On what is probably the first day of 2008.

Van Helsing at Moonbattery
The man is a rock, and his blog is a invaluable resource for any stressed blogger with no ideas.

Potfry & Buckley at The Nose on Your Face
Maybe one day fella's we'll equal "Sadly No!" and their brilliant wit, to dream.

Laika, Red, and the whole gang at The People's Cube
The funniest and most creative blog in the whole blogosphere

A over at a Dirty Martini
No matter how much I annoy her she never tells me to fuck off, like an English Marge Simpson

Mike the Swamp Rat
Over there, doing the heavy lifting for marshmallows like me

John from Just John
Ditto for John

Rotty Pup
Been there from out the gate

Jon from House of Dumb
One of these days I'll figure out who David Cameron is

Ace from Ace of Spades
Our existence was actually acknowledged by someone in the "Big Boys" section of our links, yay.

Fido from The Lone Voice
I wonder why TDL is so popular in England, they know I'm Irish right?

And to everyone who actually finds this blog funny.

**Update**

SWEET JESUS! I forgot to thank the incomparable Emperor Misha,

TDL CELEBRATES: List-travaganza 2007 cont'd

2007-12-31T21:30:00.000-05:00

Kick Ass Albums of the Year 2007

5. Monster Magnet - 4 Way Diablo
Modern Classic Rock on Roids

4. Shadows Fall - Threads of Life
Best Metal period

3. Velvet Revolver - Libertad
Yeah I thought Scott Weiland would be dead by now too,
but he's not, he's totally putting out kick ass music
with the better half of GN'R

2. Kittie - Funeral for Yesterday
Baby-doll vocals set against raging thrash = music I'd have sex
with

1. Down - Over the Under
The way the bands you like wish they sounded.

2007 Playlist:

1. Down - "On March the Saints"
2. Monster Magnet - "Slap in the Face"
3. Kittie - "Funeral for Yesterday"
4. Velvet Revolver - "Mary Mary"
5. Shadows Fall - "Forevermore"
6. Alabama Thunderpussy - "A Dreamer's Fortune"
7. In Flames - "Crawl Through Knives"
8. As I Lay Dying - "Comfort Betrays"
9. Buckcherry - "Out of Line"
10. Hellyeah - "You Wouldn't Know"

TDL CELEBRATES: List-travaganza 2007 cont'd

2007-12-30T19:42:00.000-05:00

Upskirt Pics of the Year

#3. Comatose - Avril Lavigne

#2. Graceful - Kate Moss

#1. Slutty - Chick from English "Big Brother" who I don't know her name

TDL CELEBRATES: BCS Bowl Season!

2007-12-28T23:16:00.000-05:00

Cheer up everybody the Playoffs are right around the corner.

Anyone who is a sports fan should be platzing by now.

TDL END OF THE YEAR LIST-TRAVAGANZA!

2007-12-28T10:34:00.000-05:00

Things I won't give a Fuck about in 2008

- A.C #1

Britney Spears or her Pregnant sister. -- Dying young too much to hope for?
Ann Coulter's Opinions. -- She only really thinks in Amazon.com sales charts anyway.
Mahmoud Ahamadinejad. -- He gets the bomb, he doesn't get the bomb. How does that affect me at all?
The Baseball Steroid scandal. - I'd cheat.
The Next O.J trial. -- Oh you thought it was over, nope that was the preliminary hearing this year, the trial is still on the docket.
Who killed the next dead pregnant white bitch that's found in the Mid-West. -- People get killed every fucking day, it's a fact look it up.
The next 12 months -- They'll be strikingly similar to the last 12 I'd wager.
Any and every major Holiday -- Fool yourself into being happy for a day jackass, why not?
Who wins the Oscar for Best whatever -- So they're millionaires, and they get little gold dildo statues on tv, ain't America grand.
Who becomes President -- Hillary Clinton, accept it.
American Idol -- C'mon Al Qaeda do us a favor, they're an easy target.
Global Warming -- So the world will basically turn into "Mad Max" huh? How is that a bad thing? Unless it's "Beyond Thunderdome" that would suck.
Harry Potter -- Was he gay? Is he dead? Did he die of AIDS? It's done right? Seriously no more.
Sean Penn -- Shit, the left can't do better then him as it's spokes-jerk, the man can barely form words into sentences.
Chinese Toy recalls -- If your kid is dumb enough to eat his toys then who cares if they are made with lead paint, because he's most likely a fucking retard anyway, what will a little more retardation really hurt?
You.

Click here for more lists from around the Net. So many you'll choke.

TDL: Late Night Metal

2007-12-28T00:59:00.000-05:00

As I Lay Dying - "Confined"

Some of my favorite lyrics:

"How Quickly I Forget
That This is Meaningless"

Fucking poetry.

TDL CELEBRATES: The Lord's Birthday with More Hoochie Claus

2007-12-24T20:14:00.000-05:00

TDL CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS: With More Hoochie Claus

2007-12-23T16:53:00.000-05:00

A TDL HOLIDAY TALE: DARRYL THE DIVERSE DONKEY

2007-12-22T17:25:00.000-05:00

By: The List Administrator

-CHAPTER 1-

Along time ago on a winter's day cold,

Darryl the Donkey went to the North Pole.

Darryl was eager, that much is clear

to join Santa's team of flying reindeer.

And inside the home of the jolly old elf,

Darryl the Donkey soon found himself.

His ears both pricked up and his pulse became quick,

for he was to interview with good ole Saint Nick!

"So what can you do to bring kids enjoyment,

that I should consider your wish for employment?"

said Santa Claus who was always direct,

as he peered at Darryl from behind his square specs.

"I can't run, I hate cold, I won't work with the boys

and with my bad back I can't make any toys,

I don't want a desk job; that truly bores me

and lots of hard work rightly deplores me,

I get sick very often and I need lots of rest,

and true, I scored low on your aptitutde test,

but what I want; what would truly be fair

is to team with reindeer and take to the air!"

"Well then," Santa said with a gleam in his eye,

"my question to you is how well do you fly?"

"Well that's just the thing," said Darryl, "what's more,

since I am a donkey, I can't really soar.

As a matter of fact, I can't fly at all,

but most of your reindeer are strong and are tall.

I just can't see why they won't pick up all the slack,

and fly me along as I ride on their backs."

"Now then" said Santa "I regret to inform you

that if you can't fly then I just can't employ you,

'cause we run a tight ship and we have to meet deadlines

and if we mess up we'll be standing in bread lines.

With taxes so high and the libs' victory

we're a bad year away from full bankruptcy!"

"Oh I see" said Darryl, a scowl on his face,

"you don't want to employ me because of my race!

So I'm not a reindeer, that much is true,

but in your whole office there's nary a Jew.

And although you have elves named Jimmy and Tom,

not one person here believes in Islam.

Yes you have reindeer, but no pigs and no monkeys,

no mules, no gay aardvarks, no wombats or donkeys!

I don't want to believe it and I hate to say this:

but good old Saint Nick is a mean, full-blown racist!"

"Now wait just a minute" said Santa real loud,

"what makes you think you can push me around!?!

for I am Chris Kringle and millions all trust me

and I have no jobs for one earth-bound donkey.

Now get out of here or I'll call se-cur-it-y."

"Well you haven't heard the last peep from me!

for I have a friend, most wise and most true,

I'll call Holiday Claus and her ACLU!"

and off Darryl stormed into the cold night,

determined to struggle for his 'civil rights'.

-CHAPTER 2-

So a few weeks went on, Chris forgot of the scrap,

and he had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to his wondering eyes came to order,

But a female Inuit and eight tiny reporters!

With a ten hybrid cars, so lively and quick,

he knew in a moment it must be that bitch.

More rapid than eagles reporters they came,

And they whistled, and shouted, and called out their names;

"I'm RATHER! I'm WILLIAMS! I'm COURIC and SAWYER!

I'm GIBSON! I'm WALTERS! I'm SCHEIFFER and MOYERS!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

We know there's a story, lets make Santa fall!"

An upon the door there was heard such shudder,

that Missus Claus' heart had started to flutter,

then the door flew ajar and now stood with no pause,

a mob of reporters and Holiday Claus!

"I'm Holiday Claus of the ACLU,

and I'm here to watch all the things that you do"

"Sweet jesus, my dear, why the hell are you here?"

said old Santy Claus loud enough to be clear.

"First and most foremost, I'll ask you real nice,

that you never again come to mention the Christ,

As you know true enough, my explanation is given-

I'm the first holiday icon to have no religion.

I'm female and dark skinned and American native,

from the ACLU, 'cause they are creative.

They made me to make sure that things will be fair,

and not 'Christmas' but 'Holiday' we will all share.

I'm here to make sure no one's ever offended,

not a Hindu or fruity gay man who's rear-ended,

by this celebration of all things that are Christian,

so I push 'Holiday', 'cause that is my mission.

Now what is this troubling thing that I hear,

of you only working with flying reindeer?"

"Now wait just one minute", said Couric, Katie

"Is it true, sir, you won't hire a lady?

'cause me and my crew interviewed all your elves

and there wasn't a woman with boobs like myself!"

And then interrupted the anchor Dan Rather:

"Anti-Hispanic is what I can gather,

for I didn't see one elf from Chiapas,

one brown-skinned snowman or a maid from Honduras."

"Why did you think you could keep being racist?"

Asked all the reporters, frowns on thier faces.

"I have no comment, from the news I'm averse

but I'll certainly make 'Hol-i-day' more diverse"

and with that one comment Chris pushed them all out

o'er the din of reporters' protesting and shouts.

And outside his cottage sat CNN and Fox News,

and Sharpton and Rangel and News Channel 2.

And across the T.V. ran the bold head-line ticker:

"Former employees say Santa said 'nigger'"

-CHAPTER 3-

As the days turned to weeks, there was nary a switch;

news choppers, Geraldo, a hit piece by Frank Rich;

Large protetst marches and much condemnation;

widespread prescripted 'sensitivity training'.

And Santa had no way from this P.R. mess,

and he knew that he had to do now what was best;

to save his whole business, his family and work,

He would have to give in and hire the jerk;

so he picked up the phone and gave Darryl a call,

and told him he could work over there after all,

and then to the news-papers St. Nick announced that he

was starting a program to gain di-ver-si-ty.

But in order to hire the 'flight-challenged' ass,

Santa released an employee with class,

who was a great flyer from his head to his toes,

who once had saved Christmas with his glowing, red nose.

'cause Rudolph, you see, though he flew with authority,

was Santa's one reindeer with the least seniority.

"I'm sorry" said Kringle, "we're all gonna miss you...

but with this tight budget I just cannot keep you."

"But I worked hard for this job!" protested Rudolph with shock,

"and now I'm out on my ass, my God, what a CROCK!!!"

"Maybe next Christmas I'll hire you back,

but right now I need you to clean up and pack,

for Darryl' be here soon, the press close in chase,

and for them we need to put on our best face,

and pre-tend eve-ry-thing's all merry and glee,

so maybe the news will forget about me,

so I can go back to making great toys,

for all of the planet's good girls and good boys."

And out walked poor Rudolph, his stuff in a box,

and straight to a strip-club dubbed 'The Arctic FoXXX',

went the red-nosed reindeer, to drink 'way his sorrow

and worry 'bout his lack of employment t'morrow.

And drink lots did Rudolph and get five lap-dances,

and slip all his dollars in strippers' small pantses,

and when morning came, they threw Rudolph out

stinking of liquor; a pugnatious lout.

And alone sat poor Rudolph, all drunk in the snow;

no money, no job, not one piece of doe.

-CHAPTER 4-

Meanwhile Chris Kringle made a few other moves,

to make sure the media of him did approve.

He hired El Senior Muy Guappo Snow Hombre

Diego Montoya Martinez Del Andres,

the first 'latin' snowman, made all of brown 'snow',

from south of the border in ole' Mex-i-co.

He hired a toymaking elf from Hong Kong,

and he brought in a Jewish accountant named Ron,

and when all the newsmen came in for the story,

Santa's North Pole shone with di-verse glory!

"Here's our new COO, an elfette named Lanarra"

said jolly Chris Kringle, posing for the cameras,

"And here's our new Muslim elf, Haji Al-Haq,

he's building a bomb in our Christmas Toy Shoppe."

And the reporters were happy; they shouted with glee:

"Oh my, what a great 'Holiday' this will be!!!"

For they had, in thier minds, changed things for the best,

even though toymaking now was a great mess,

'cause elfette Lanarra as a boss was a dud,

and nobody likes a 'snowman' made of mud,

and Darryl the Donkey came in after 3,

and Haji Al-Haq messed with T-N-T,

so toys were made slow; there just weren't enough,

and test-flights sans Rudolph turned out to be tough,

'cause while Donder and Blitzen strained to go high,

Darryl just sat there, eating some pie,

and giving them pointers on how to fly better,

wrapped in a down jacket and heavy wool sweater.

"This is crazy!" yelped Comet, "I've had enough of this shit.

if didn't have mortgage, I'd surely have quit!"

"If you think that's bad, then listen to this crap-

I think that dirt 'snowman' stole all of my hubcaps!"

exclaimed mighty Dasher, huffing as he spoke,

dragging the sleigh from behind his tight yoke.

But Darryl just sat there, chatting real slickly

on his brand new cell-phone with his fat girl-friend, 'Vicki'.

Resented by others, Darryl could care less,

'cause his benefits were quite near the best,

he had medical, and dental, and coverage galore,

and he could retire at age fifty-four,

and live on his pension as if it was free,

and maybe at forty he'd claim disability,

and sleep till ten-thirty and hang out in his bed,

and then work off the books for his first cousin, Fred.

-CHAPTER 5-

As the big day grew close, more changes were witnessed

such as the out-lawing of the word they call "Christmas".

Instead, "Merry Holiday" was used at all meetings,

or "Have a Great Kwanzaa" or just "Season's Greetings".

And though toy production was utterly slow,

Santa himself outlawed the word "Ho",

and he hired a publicist to invent a new phrase;

much more gender-neutral to appeal to the babes,

and so "Go Go Go!" became his new call,

"Merry Holiday to you- and tolerance of all!"

And as he packed up his sleigh for 'Holiday' Eve Night,

all of Santa's elves were panicked with fright,

for Haji had blown himself up with a thud,

and splattered Diego, the 'snowman' of mud.

and as flame and fire raged out of control,

Darryl just sat there, smoking a bowl.

"Man- this night is stressful, I needed a hit"

said Darryl the Donkey "...and this is good shit!

I can't wait to fly, it'll be a phat trip

now what in the world did I do with those chips...."

As he climbed in the sleigh, red-eyed and all

his great big fat ass caused some presents to fall,

out to the ground, but he didn't care

for he had grown sleepy in the cold winter air.

-CHAPTER 6-

And as Darryl napped, the Jolly Old Elf

had to do all the hard work all by himself,

Of loading the presents into the sleigh,

and giving the reindeer adequate hay.

Since Darryl was big, there was less room for toys

to give to all the world's good girls and good boys.

So some kids awoke the next day without glee,

to find there were no toys under their great tree,

and others were sad, its hard to debate

for thier Chritsmas toys showed up three days late!

And after that Christmas there was much commotion;

the North Pole was un-used to terror explosions!

And Comet soon quit to find a new job

and Darryl the Donkey was still a fat slob,

who came in real late, and did what he wanna,

and talked to his girlfriend, and smoked marijuana.

And even though millions of kiddies were sad,

the ACLU could not see the bad,

that they had imposed upon all of those others,

'cause now 'Holiday' featured different skin colors.

And the media reporters went to their next story,

in a non-ending cycle of self-centered glory,

to find the next 'scoop' and break the next big one,

regardless the impact it had on the children,

or the soldiers, or homefront, or all of the nation,

'cause to them all that matters is getting high ratings.

-CHAPTER 7-

MERRY HOLIDAY FROM YOUR BUDDIES AT TDL NEWS!!!!!!!

TDL REPORTS: Ann Coulter, Retard

2007-12-20T21:41:00.001-05:00

By: A.C #1

Ann's new think tank had many less than successful programs, most notably the "My Finger Is Smelly" initiative, which was an off-shoot of the original "My Butt Itches Forum."

I don't like Ann Coulter, why? Very deep and logical reasons:

She's a skinny bitch with a huge Adam's apple.
She only says things to provoke people, which I would never do.
She looks like the Matron of the Bakersfield, CA A.B

While I may not like her personally, I always respected her intelligence, until I actually read some of the things she writes and realized she's retarded. Why retarded?

"If the mainstream media are burning with curiosity about what critics of Darwinism have to say, how about asking me? I can also name any number of mathematicians, scientists and authors who have rejected Darwin's discredited theory and would be happy to rap with them about it." - Ann Coulter's site

If you don't believe in Evolution you are retarded. That simple. Hold onto your drool cups, Intelligent Designers, I ain't done.

Darwin's theory is not decided, hate to break it to you but no scientific law is final, however it has existed for a very long time without serious challenge.

And Intelligent Design is not a serious challenge to Darwin, it is a idiotic challenge to the realm of logical thought.

**TDL PRESENTS: Intelligent Design for Dummies!**

By: A.C #1 with Intelligent Design "scholar" Micheal Behe

Who is responsible for all the variety of species on Earth? - God

How did God create all these creatures? - He's God

How does Intelligent Design explain the Human Appendix? - God

Uh...what? - God knows

Knows what? - Everything, he's God.

Thanks Mr. Behe, you do America proud, don't you have a 3 o'clock witch burning to attend?

Religion is only dangerous when zealots enforce it as the only truth, which I guess means it's always dangerous, but America often rejects the zealots, and they will again if the Republicans adopt the Evangelical position of I.D as counter balance to Darwin. The latest challenge to Chuck came in Dover, Pa, when a school board forced teachers to begin Biology classes with a challenge to Darwin's theory, off course any position based in retardation stands very little chance for victory, and a Bush appointed Judge laid the smackdown on the I.D'ers asses.

But the more telling result was the next round of school board elections in Dover which led to the ouster of ALL school board members who voted in favor of imposing Intelligent Design on Dover High School students, but fuck it if we adopt the backwards hillbilly side of America then as Republicans we deserve a royal ass beating, as sure as the Sun revolves around the Earth.

TDL LINKS TO: The Nose On Your Face, Again!

2007-12-18T19:44:00.001-05:00

- A.C #1

One of the few blogs I'm actually envious of shows me why I'm only relatively funny, bow before the masters.

(Neither of us is "Sadly No!" of course, but hell who is?)

Islamic Rage Boy's Non-denominational Holiday Carol

Plus here's some hoochie mama Santa Claus:

TDL ANNOUNCEMENT: The Following is an Unpaid Advertisement

2007-12-16T14:57:00.000-05:00

This weeks content is not brought to you by a generous grant from the makers of:

Pig Up this Holiday Season with:

BACON SALT

Bacon salt adds distinct flavor to all sorts of food:

Bacon flavored donuts!

or

Bacon flavored bacon

and wash it all down with a Bacon Salt cocktail:

"Canadian Bacon"

Canadian Whiskey

Maple Syrup

Lemon Juice

...with a rim of Bacon Salt
...and a Bacon Swizzle Stick

Uh...seriously that turned my stomach a little, okay a lot.

TDL REPORTS: Pro's and Con's of the Elderly Suicide Bomber

2007-12-14T11:34:00.000-05:00

- A.C #1

It has recently been brought to my attention that Al Qaeda has begun a program to expand it's penetration in the Senior demographic, and attract septuagenarian suicide bombers to the cause of Jihad. You can either read this as a desperate, and cowardly act of a floundering fanatical ideology or as a wise choice aimed at expanding the Al Qaeda brand into a largely neglected portion of society, let's examine the Pro's and Con's:

Pro's:

Easy access to the intended targets of this new strain of Jihadi manipulation, have you ever heard of an elderly person not willing to talk to a stranger at length, I mean they're desperate for any human contact.
The elderly are equally easy to motivate for Martyrdom, all Al Qaeda would have to do is tell any given senior that Lifetime is pulling it's four o'clock reruns of "The Golden Girls" (did you know Estelle Getty was actually 30 years younger than any of the other cast members!) and they'll be ready to strap on the dynamite and join Bea Arthur in heaven, I think she's dead.
Al Qaeda could also just send their younger looking operatives into a nursing home dressed as five year olds, and have them pretend to be the Grandkids that never come to visit, "Gwamma could you bwow up the infwadels pwease?" You know the elderly can't say no to their Grandkids.
All elderly have a innate and unquenchable thirst for revenge against the young, and prune juice.

Con's:

If the Senior bomber misses their two o'clock nap they're cranky the whole rest of the day.
Having to stop a dozen times on the way to the mission because the bomber had multiple "accidents."
The elderly have poor sense of direction and are prone to becoming lost, and disoriented which could result in bombers returning to the home base so they an call their 2nd cousin Gerty for directions.
If captured the Senior bomber would be incredibly easy to flip, all the Military Interrogators or CIA would need is access to the vast Matlock archives. Matlock as everyone knows causes the elderly to enter a hypnotic dementia known as "Andy Griffith Syndrome."

The serious stuff is from Gateway Pundit on a tip from Larwyn, Muchos Gracias.

TDL LINKS: Democratic Politics

2007-12-13T19:44:00.000-05:00

- A.C #1

Does this image need explanation?

The Nose On Your Face

TDL FILLER: Excerpts from "The Carter Diaries" - June-07

2007-12-12T19:09:00.000-05:00

The success of Douglas Brinkley's "The Reagan Diaries" has been a fortuitous event for us at TDL NEWS. By coincidence our staff has been hard at work piecing together the musings of America's 39th President Jimmy Carter. Here are some excerpts from the entries we've gathered so far. Like Reagan, Carter took his writing very seriously, using pen and paper as a way to reason, reflect, and expound upon the important issues of the day.

Tues. July. 16 - My big speech was yesterday. That boy Chris Matthews is a dang genius. "We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation." If that doesn't inspire the American people what will? I predict that this speech will be remembered for a long time.

Wed. July. 17 - I should fire that hack Matthews, he royally screwed me with that speech he wrote. That yokel, um, what's his name? Reagan, he's been like a angry hornet in a fat man's overalls about it. I think he might be a Jew agent out to assassinate me.

Mon. July. 30. - Just got done with a series of talks with our European allies. If only we could attain the harmony of their societies. Gotta remember to get that idiot Matthews to add that to my next speech.

Wed. August. 2. - Ate a Peanut Butter sandwich today. I swear I could eat them all day long. That would be a great job, Peanut Butter eater, I wonder if I could create a cabinet level position for Peanut Butter because a Black invented it.

Fri. August. 4. - Met with N.S.C about normalizing relations with Castro. They told me it was a bad idea. I think they don't realize that Communism is here to stay. The N.S.C must have been infiltrated by the Jews, Israel again, they're probably reading this right now. Or do they know what I'm going to write before I do?! They can read your thoughts, the Jews. Must have D.O.D look into the feasibility of tin-foil hats for me and my staff. Urgent!

Sun. August. 6. - As a sign of goodwill to the Soviets I've cut the defense budget and canceled something called the "B-1 Bomber," as if we'll ever need the thing. Considering renaming the Department of Defense the United Association for Peace, Tolerance, and Justice. Spoke to Kennedy and he agreed that was the best way to be "even-handed." The new training program for our troops must include diplomacy, and relationship building exercises.

Tues. August. 8. - More meetings. This time with a group of Polish dissidents. I tried to get them to tell me about the glory of Soviet Communism. What it must be like to all work together for the common good, and how there aren't any poor people, everyone's equal!!! My enthusiasm for the subject had them speechless as a dead pig in the Alabama sunshine.

Greatest Movie Trailer Ever.

2007-12-10T16:02:00.000-05:00

- Number 2

Look upon greatness and tremble.

And before you ask, yes it is a real movie, slated for a 2008 release in Japan (where else could it be from?). Blood, ninjas, yakuza, schoolgirls, revenge and the Drill Bra. Behold the Alpha and the Omega

THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT: A Message From the Tourism Board of Baltimore

2007-12-09T18:10:00.000-05:00

Baltimore has been receiving a lot of bad publicity lately due to the unfortunate and isolated incident involving nine of Baltimore's finest Westinghouse scholars and a single white woman that baited them into stomping her face to pulp.

We would like to assure the American people that Baltimore is a thriving, metropolitan city, and the actions of this woman in no reflect the vast majority of Baltimorons.

So we urge you to take a look beyond the headlines and see the real Baltimore:

Come to Baltimore and visit our bustling Downtown, which has the finest shopping in the region.

Experience our newly refurbished waterfront promenade!

Baltimore is a place to escape the hustle and bustle of Modern living, enjoy a calm relaxing stay, feel free to nap on our clean relatively glass free sidewalks.

My name is Mayor Lil'Ray Ray, and dat mah Police Commissioner P-Nut in the red. I want all ya'll punk-ass-bitches and shook niggas to know that we puttin' in work to make Baltimore mad safe and shit, that's mah word.

Ya'll need ta check out mah new single "Bitch Stay Out Mah Shit (I'll Murder Yo Grandma Remix)" on "Hood 2 Deth" records Bang, Bang.

TDL REPORTS: Is it Campaign Season Already?

2007-12-08T10:17:00.000-05:00

- A.C #1

Seeing as how the primaries are, what, a week away or something, I figured I'd use all the b.s floating around everyday to pump out some easy link heavy posts, uh I mean I really care about the election or whatever.

- Huck to Gays: "Drop Dead"

- Huck pulls ahead in national poll! So Rudy's ahead in every other one, it's not like if McCain left the race all his support would shore up behind Rudy or something.

- The only words scarier than President Hilldog are President Edwards

- The New Jersey Devils win 9 straight!

- Still looking for a Fred story, I'm sure I'll find one eventually.

Hilldog and friends, by friends I mean Natalie Portman's pokies.

Hat tip Other Crap

The DICK LIST

HEAR YE, HEAR YE. THE GOOD BOOK OF LIB BE UPON US!

TDL's MAN OF THE YEAR, 2008

TDL 'HOLIDAY' CLASSICS: DARRYL THE DIVERSE DONKEY

TDL CLASSICS: MERRY HOLIDAY from the ACLU!

The Resurgence of the Left Explained!

The Worst Possible Way To Go...

Obama's Choice

I'm shocked, really....

OBAMINATION

Elmo's Timeless Liberal Wisdom

I couldn't say this in a better way, nor do I have the time to....

Obama's Policies: The Math Just Doesn't Work

Bradley Effect: Wingnut Wet Dream

NEED I SAY MORE?

'Obama Youth' Video Stricken From Most You Tube Links

TDL's SALUTE to FAIL

TDL Economics: Dem's the breaks ( Ha how droll )

TDL on the ECONOMY: THE CREDIT CRISIS

AP: It's racist to think blacks are responsible for their own problems

Faith of the Abomination: Politics in the Pulpit

TDL OP-ED: "American Sense"

Markos Moutsalutus : The TDL Interview

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HAH HA HAHHHHHH

OMG!!! PALIN'S DAUGHTER IS PREGGERS!!!

TDL OPINION: Homelssness in NYC

Gee, thanks Hussain....

THE NON-IMAGINARY INCONVIENIENT TRUTH

Cue media overreaction in 5.....4......3.....2.....1....

TDL TALKS STRATEGY: THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE GEORGIA CONFLICT

TDL OIL 101: A WEAK DOLLAR DOSEN'T JUST SUCK FOR U.S.

OIL 101 PART II

TDL: OIL 101 A TWO PART SPECIAL REPORT

TDL TIME TRAVEL- A LOOK INTO THE FUTURE

Yeah- go ahead... elect this narcissistic fuck

TDL SUMMER BREAK

TDL presents: GINGER HISTORY MONTH

The "Patriarch" is dying....

AND SO NOW IT BEGINS....

CHARLIE SHEEN INVESTIGATES: THE ROAD TO LESBANON

HUFFPO? Actually, yeah....

TDL Links to:

TDL CLASSICS: ARIANNA HUFFINGTON IS:

TDL NEWS: I'D HATE TO SAY 'WE TOLD YOU SO'........

TDL CLIMATE KOOL AID: BBC ALTERS NEWS TO ACCOMODATE GLOBAL WARMING ACTIVIST

A Message from The "Styrofoam Council of America"

TDL GOES DARK!!! Earth hour 2008

TDL REBELS AGAINST MSM: FITNA

****TDL SALUTES****

TDL: The Shameless Adriana Lima pic post Two

TDL: The Shameless Adriana Lima pic post

OBAMA TO PUBLIC: YOU WONT VOTE FOR ME BECAUSE YOU'RE RACIST

TDL Classics: Paul Krugman The TDL Interview:

WRIGHTGATE

MOONBAT IDIOCY IN NYC

TDL OPINION: FUCK THE ORYMPICS!

TDL OPINION: VICTIMFIGHT!!!!

TDL Classics: **Women's History Month Special** Dove's "Real" Beauty II: The Cellulite Strikes Back

TDL RELIGION AND ETHICS: CHECKING IN FROM IRAQ

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

TDL POLICY: THE OPTIONAL TAX

MICHELLE OBAMA: PROUD OF HER COUNTRY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE???

TDL: Lazy Sunday Post

BARACK OBAMA- A PRESIDENT FOR ALL [left wing radical] AMERICANS

OBAMA: RACE DOESN'T MATTER (*wink* *wink*)

TDL REPORTS: Finally A Third Party Candidate We Can Get Behind

I'M NOT RACIST! I VOTED FOR THE GUY WITH DARK SKIN!

Big Blue Wrecking Crew

VENGENCE!!!!!!

Dopey Senator Compares Spygate to CIA

TDL Culture - They're Gonna Start Taxing 40ozs and Blunts!

Super Bowl Baby! Super Bowl Yeah!

TDL GOES INSIDE: The Mind of the South Carolina Republican Primary Voter

A NEW MEMBER OF THE TDL FAMILY IS BORN!

TDL REPORTS: Christopher Columbus is even WORSE than your College Professors told you

Carl on The Big Blue Wreckin' Crew's Huge Victory over the Cowboys

TDL SPORTS: An English Chick Explains "American Football"

TDL: Lazy Saturday Post

TDL LABS: Brings You Hillarytussin

Anything to End the Pain

TDL SALUTES

TDL Classics: Women's History Month Special Dove's "Real" Beauty II: The Cellulite Strikes Back

OBAMA: RACE DOESN'T MATTER (wink wink)